Posted on 02/07/2005 2:15:11 PM PST by KidGlock
Why Women Cheat
Expert Reveals Warning Signs
UPDATED: 10:18 am EST February 7, 2005
CLEVELAND -- When you think about cheating spouses, most people think about men, Cleveland television station WEWS reported.
The station reported that the latest trend has more women stepping out on their husbands, and found one story illustrating it.
She was a mother of three who had just celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary.
That night, she told her husband she was going out with her girlfriends. Instead, she went to meet her lover, the station reported.
Mike Lewis is a private investigator at Cleveland's Confidential Investigations Inc.
He has been in the surveillance business for almost a decade. And more husbands are calling him about their cheating wives.
"What they always say, the not knowing is the hardest part. And that's where we come in," Lewis said.
Another woman told her husband she was on a business trip. Instead, she flew to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, the station reported.
"Got 'em kissin," Lewis said.
After watching a video, her husband finally figured out why their marriage was on the rocks.
"Gotta be frustrating because you guys were trying to work it out," Lewis said.
Just how many married women have had sex with other men?
In 1991, researchers asked married women if they had cheated. Ten percent said yes. Compare that to 22 percent of married men who said they had cheated.
In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same.
"It's either something they're missing in their relationship, or it's how they're feeling about themselves," said Kathy Dawson, of the Marriage Movement.
Dawson is a relationship coach, the author of "Diagnosis Marriage" and "Cleveland Couples." She helps couples reconnect. Even after infidelity.
"No. 1, if your wife says, 'You don't listen to me.' Oh boy, that's a big signal. Women, No. 1, need is to feel listened to and validated," Dawson said.
A wife starved for attention at home can find herself in the arms of another man. Dawson said when husbands don't make wives feel good about themselves, watch out for the man who does.
"For a man, the most important thing he can do for his wife is to pay attention to her feelings, and listen to her. It doesn't mean he has to agree with everything she says. He just has to prove to her that he heard what she said," Dawson said.
Mike Lewis agrees. In his experience, he found that sometimes a cheating spouse may even let you know what's about to happen.
"Sometimes they do communicate before they cheat. Sometimes they say, 'I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that.' And it falls on deaf ears," Lewis said.
But in the end, the decision to cheat is made by only one person.
"Are you willing to pay the price? Because there is a price. There's the price of how you feel about yourself. If you have children, if they find out, how are they going to react? Sooner or later they're going to find out," Dawson said.
For the husbands mentioned in this story, the infidelity was too much for the marriage. Both divorced soon after. But cheating does not have to mean the end of a marriage.
"It's pretty devastating. Is it a deal killer? No. Are you going to have to work your tail off? Yes. Can you're marriage be stronger? Absolutely," Dawson said.
BTTT
I suspect the same is true of a mail-order bride. I think statistics say divorce rates are pretty high in marriages like this. Sometimes the ladies use the guy as a green card..."You melly me, take me to Mellica?"
the culture is producing both young men and young women who are really unfit to marry.
The culture is not teaching either sex about restraint, modesty, deferred gratitfication or any of the other virtues.
Although things ARE beginning to change.
I'd rather die than jeopardize the life I have by being so selfish. I couldn't live with myself.
Reading things like this make me glad that I have decided to never marry.
My kinda gal!
Then find a Latina chick who is a strict Catholic. They won't divorce.
To PJ (from the article)
"In 1991, researchers asked married women if they had cheated. Ten percent said yes. Compare that to 22 percent of married men who said they had cheated.
In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same."
Womens honesty has increased 5%.
"...her gringo-husband who is too much of a loser to marry a real American woman...."
AMEN Sister.
You mean, 'all your house are belong to me'.
You know you're middle aged when your wife gets all dressed up to go out, and all you care about is that you don't have to go with her.
yep.....LOL
Me gusta tu pelo negro largo. Te amo. Yo quiero sexo.
The ONLY funny thing I ever saw Joey Bishop do was in the movie, "Guide For The Married Man." He got caught red-handed cheating by his wife. While his wife was screaming at him both he and the woman he was cheating with calmly put on their clothes and made the bed. Then the woman walked out while Joey Bishop claimed nothing had happened. You sort of have to see that scene to appreciate the humor.
As an aside, I'm making dinner tonight. The boy is coming over, and I got chicken & dumplin's on the stove....
I have heard that a high percentage of sales of Viagra, Levitra and Cialis are not from men with ED but to young men who want to get a thrill to see if it enhances them even more. Yes, you need a prescription normally, but you can buy this stuff over the Internet.
"Intersting.....if the man cheats, it's his fault. If the woman cheats, it's STILL his fault."
That is what the article implies, doesn't it? It is always the man's fault!
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