Letterman Pays Special Tribute to Carson

PS OMG they just showed the bit where Letterman took Carson to court over Carson damaging his pickup truck! Damn Letterman looked young back then.

I stand corrected.

< bows humbly >

Carson's jokes used tonight for the most part stunk, primarily either shots at President Bush or sex jokes (I can't believe how many claim that Carson's show was 'clean', in reality it was often rather racy for the times.) But then Letterman, in his tribute, showed a video clip from 1986 that illustrated Carson's true comic genius. He had Letterman on and then showed him a Polaroid of the old beat up(complete with ripped seats) truck Dave was still driving at the time. That was followed with a video of a wrecker towing it away, and then after letting the shock sink in a bit, opened the curtain to reveal the truck on stage. The humor may get lost in translation, but it was hilarious just now.

RIP an American icon.

You want to stay up for this. Plenty of Johnny. Very nice and heartwarming.

I will never forget when Carson had Zsha Zsha Gabor on his show and she had a Persian Cat on her lap...

Interesting, since that incident of myth never actually happened!

"He did not speak to his child for a decade..."

Is that the one who was killed?

Ed

Although he did say to Dolly Parton, "I would give a year's salary to see what's under there."

I am watching the show.
The LaSalle guy reminds me of John McCain.

You're east coast now? You have a satellite connection?

See Post #35

Well I will try and tell you why Carson got so much coverage. Carson did something that will never be done again, he was on TV for a solid straight 30 years.
He was also someone people really liked and he was a barometer for what was going on in the country.
Unless you watched him on a regular basis it's hard to explain, it was like an old friend who passed away and I think that is the way a lot of people felt, I know I did.
He was just a great talent and now that he is really gone people just an a genuine outpouring.

The case of Letterman V. Carson, as presided over by the honorable Judge Wapner:

http://users.abac.com/ksitterley/letvcar.htm

David Letterman, Plaintiff, vs. Johnny Carson, Defendant

June 27, 1986

MR. CARSON: Now we will talk about the other reason

that you're here.

MR. LETTERMAN: Yeah, okay.

MR. CARSON: Which we have to address ourselves to

tonight.

MR. LETTERMAN: Kind of a somber occasion, isn't it?

MR. CARSON: In a way, Yes.

MR. LETTERMAN: It went from a magic night to a somber

occasion.

MR. CARSON: Yes, all of a sudden.

Do you remember some months ago I called you at

your home?

MR. LETTERMAN: That's right.

MR. CARSON: And mentioned that you had a red truck

parked in front of your house.

MR. LETTERMAN: Right. No surprise to me.

MR. CARSON: No surprise at all. And I thought --

first of all, I said I thought you put it out there -- it was

a cut-out that you put on the street to show the tourists who

come by that you're just a good old boy. (laughter)

MR. LETTERMAN: Yeah, right.

MR. CARSON: "Look, David, he's got a pickup out there.

He's one of us." And I said it was pretty junky, and I said

living in Malibu I thought it was an eyesore and should be

removed. We had a few words about that, and in fact, when you

were on the show last, your truck did show up --

MR. LETTERMAN: That's right.

MR. CARSON: -- on this stage. It showed up on this

stage. That's all I will say. It showed up here. April the

18th, I believe it was.

MR. LETTERMAN: Why did it show up here? It was stolen.

Thank you.

MR. MC MAHON: An allegation.

MR. CARSON: Now, that's an allegation.

MR. LETTERMAN: Allegation?

MR. CARSON: And we are going to have to discuss that.

Anyway, you seem to feel that I have committed some kind of a

heinous crime here and that some damages are due you, and I

thought the only way to really solve this was to bring a

gentleman here tonight who does this every day on People's

Court, Judge Wapner. He agreed to come here tonight and

negotiate some kind of settlement. Right?

MR. LETTERMAN: That's right. It's a little like

big-time wrestling here, isn't it?

MR. CARSON: That's right, and we both agreed to abide

by his decision.

MR. LETTERMAN: That's right. Absolutely.

MR. CARSON: All right. We will take a break and his

honor will join us in a moment.

MR. CARSON: All right. Ladies and gentlemen, to

review our case and to reach a just decision, we agreed to ask

a retired municipal and superior court judge, who has been the

Presiding Judge for five years on the People's Court. Would

you welcome, please, Judge Joseph Wapner. (applause)

JUDGE WAPNER: Gentlemen, since this is an arbitration,

I am going to have to ask you to be sworn, if you don't mind.

MR. CARSON: Not at all, sir.

JUDGE WAPNER: You and each of you do solemnly swear

that the testimony you are about to give in these proceedings

shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth,

so help you God?

MR. LETTERMAN: Yes, sir.

MR. CARSON: More or less, sir, Yes.

JUDGE WAPNER: It better be more.

MR. CARSON: Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

JUDGE WAPNER: All right.

MR. LETTERMAN: Do I begin, Judge? What happens here?

JUDGE WAPNER: You wait for me, Mr. Letterman.

MR. LETTERMAN: Oh, yeah. (Hoots and applause)

JUDGE WAPNER: Mr. Letterman --

MR. LETTERMAN: You're no Sandra Day O'Connor.

(laughter) I probably got off to a wrong start there, didn't

I?

JUDGE WAPNER: Mr. Letterman, my understanding is that

you have some complaint about a truck that you allege

Mr. Carson took from you.

MR. LETTERMAN: Absolutely. I'll tell ya --

JUDGE WAPNER: Where was that truck, sir?

MR. LETTERMAN: If I could interrupt, if it please the

court.

JUDGE WAPNER: It wouldn't please me at all. (laughter)

MR. LETTERMAN: If I could interrupt here just a

second, you know, a couple of weeks ago we found out that

there was going to be an opening on the Supreme Court, and I

think myself and the rest of America just naturally assumed

you'd be going to Washington. (laughter and applause)

Here's a box of steaks, and you know, now it's

kind of like a better luck next time, and I hope you enjoy

those, you and Mrs. Wapner. (laughter)

JUDGE WAPNER: Mr. Letterman, the price isn't right.

(laughter)

Now, let's get to the truck.

MR. LETTERMAN: Yes, sir.

JUDGE WAPNER: What kind of truck is it?

MR. LETTERMAN: Your honor, tonight you're going to hear

a story --

JUDGE WAPNER: I don't want to hear a story. What kind

of truck is it?

MR. LETTERMAN: It's a fleet-side half-ton 1973

Chevrolet pickup truck, roughly 75,000 miles on it.

JUDGE WAPNER: All right. Good. Where was it parked

when you allege it was taken?

MR. LETTERMAN: Right in front of my home where it's

always parked.

JUDGE WAPNER: That's on the street?

MR. LETTERMAN: On the street, yes, sir.

JUDGE WAPNER: Legally parked there?

MR. LETTERMAN: Absolutely.

JUDGE WAPNER: Okay. I just asked the question.

(laughter)

And you claim that Mr. Carson or someone on his

behalf took it?

MR. LETTERMAN: Absolutely. I have proof to that

effect, Exhibit A. May I introduce Exhibit A at this point?

JUDGE WAPNER: Sure. Go ahead.

MR. LETTERMAN: Okay. Can we roll the videotape. This

happened April 18, 1986. A team of terrorists attacked my

home.

(A videotape rolls of Letterman's truck being

loaded onto a tow truck.)

MR. LETTERMAN: This man you see in the picture was

earlier seen boarding the Achille Lauro. There it is being

carted away, and next you'll see it here in the studio.

(A videotape rolls of Letterman's truck onstage at

The Tonight Show.)

MR. LETTERMAN: Now, pay close attention, Judge, if you

will, to the left front headlight. There it is. See, it's in

perfect working condition as of that night, 4/18/86, and I

would like to thank Mr. Zapruder for the footage.

Now, I also have some photographs to indicate that

it was damaged after that fact. The truck was --

JUDGE WAPNER: I'll get to the damages, if you don't

mind.

Mr. Carson, did you have that truck taken away and

brought to the studio?

MR. CARSON: Your honor, Mr. Letterman used the word

"stolen."

JUDGE WAPNER: No, I didn't say "stolen." I know he

used the word, but I didn't.

MR. CARSON: Yes, sir. I did remove the truck from the

premises, an illegally parked truck on county property.

MR. LETTERMAN: I object, your honor. I object. I

object.

JUDGE WAPNER: Well, don't object. It's not gonna help

you any. (laughter and applause)

Why was it illegally parked, sir?

MR. CARSON: May I offer in evidence, your honor, a

picture here.

JUDGE WAPNER: Yes.

MR. CARSON: May I please show this to you and then show

it to our viewing audience.

(Mr. Carson shows a picture of Letterman's truck

to Judge Wapner.)

MR. CARSON: You can see the truck parked partly on the

street and on county property, not on the setback.

JUDGE WAPNER: All right.

MR. LETTERMAN: On the setback? What the hell is a

setback? Do you park on the setback?

MR. CARSON: I did remove this as a private and public

nuisance from the neighborhood.

JUDGE WAPNER: Why do you consider it a public

nuisance?

MR. LETTERMAN: Yeah. I'd like to hear that. (laughter)

MR. CARSON: Your honor, very often I have people come

to my home at night, and because the truck is an eyesore and a

relic -- I would like to introduce first, your honor, if I may,

some tape of the truck to show the condition it was in to show

you why it was removed. May we have that tape, please, to show

you the condition of this fine vehicle. Here is the inside of

this finely maintained automobile. You see this? (laughter)

And here is the well-kept interior of the truck bed.

(A videotape rolls of Letterman's truck, showing

a ripped-up front seat, a dented truck body and a rusted-out

truck bed.)

MR. LETTERMAN: All right. I'll admit that it needs to

be waxed. (laughter)

MR. CARSON: Your honor, for Mr. Letterman to accuse me

of damaging his truck is somewhat like Emmitt Kelly accusing me

of damaging his clothing. I removed it as a public nuisance

because people who often come to my house will go out of their

way not to see this nuisance. When I jog at night the truck is

parked close to the street. I have to avoid the truck and

actually run with the traffic at my back.

MR. LETTERMAN: Your honor, may I interject something.

JUDGE WAPNER: How long is the truck though, Mr. Carson?

MR. LETTERMAN: I guess not.

MR. CARSON: How long?

JUDGE WAPNER: Yes. How long does it take you to get

around this truck?

MR. LETTERMAN: Your honor, may I make a point here. I

don't think --

JUDGE WAPNER: He didn't answer my question yet.

MR. CARSON: Yes. Listen to the Judge. (laughter)

I actually have to detour around the truck, your

honor, into the roadway, which poses a danger.

JUDGE WAPNER: All right.

MR. LETTERMAN: Point of order.

JUDGE WAPNER: We are not in a meeting. We are in a

court. (laughter)

What would you like to tell me, sir?

MR. LETTERMAN: Well, I'd just like to tell you, I don't

think Mr. Carson runs. (hoots and applause)

MR. CARSON: That is not true, your honor. I do run

frequently at night past Mr. Letterman's home.

JUDGE WAPNER: How far do you run?

MR. CARSON: Several miles.

MR. LETTERMAN: Oh, please. (laughter)

MR. CARSON: Would you admonish the plaintiff not to

make these --

JUDGE WAPNER: Let me take these steaks away. I don't

like the odor.

Let me ask you something, Mr. Letterman.

MR. LETTERMAN: Yes, sir. Yes, your honor.

JUDGE WAPNER: You claim the truck was damaged; the

headlight was damaged.

MR. LETTERMAN: Absolutely. I have proof.

JUDGE WAPNER: Did you have it repaired?

MR. LETTERMAN: I have estimates to have it repaired.

I have three estimates to have it repaired.

JUDGE WAPNER: May I see them?

MR. LETTERMAN: See the estimates?

JUDGE WAPNER: Yes, sir.

MR. LETTERMAN: All right. Let me get them from my

massive briefs here. (laughter)

Would you be good enough to pass those.

MR. CARSON: Sure.

MR. LETTERMAN: I also have an affidavit sworn

statement of a gentleman who looks after my home that the truck

in fact was damaged upon its return. It's notarized. It was

notarized. And I have photos too.

JUDGE WAPNER: Good, good, good. Well, you have given

me two estimates, sir.

MR. LETTERMAN: Yeah, I know. My dog ate the other one.

(laughter)

JUDGE WAPNER: All right.

MR. CARSON: May I interject, your honor.

JUDGE WAPNER: Yes, you may.

MR. CARSON: As you can see, the headlight was not

damaged when the truck was on stage. The truck was returned to

Mr. Letterman's home where it sat on the street unguarded.

JUDGE WAPNER: Who drove the truck back?

MR. CARSON: Our staff returned the truck to

Mr. Letterman's house.

JUDGE WAPNER: Do you have an affidavit from anyone

from the staff that when you brought it back it was not

damaged at all, sir?

MR. CARSON: Oh, yes.

JUDGE WAPNER: Do you have it with you?

MR. CARSON: Well, I'll get it for you. (laughter and

applause) My staff will give me whatever I want, sir. (hoots

and applause)

JUDGE WAPNER: Sir, you sound suspiciously like some of

my litigants.

MR. CARSON: No, no, sir. The truck was returned to

Mr. Letterman's home, but the truck sat out there for three

days before Mr. Letterman realized that the headlight had been

damaged.

MR. LETTERMAN: No, no, blatant, blatant miscarriage of

justice.

JUDGE WAPNER: Were you living there, Mr. Letterman, at

the time?

MR. LETTERMAN: Absolutely. I have photographic

evidence.

JUDGE WAPNER: You were staying there at the time the

truck was parked?

MR. LETTERMAN: Yeah, yeah.

JUDGE WAPNER: For three days?

MR. LETTERMAN: Ummmmm, yeah. (laughter)

JUDGE WAPNER: Something tells me you weren't.

MR. LETTERMAN: Well ummmmm --

MR. CARSON: Mr. Letterman actually was in New York,

your honor, at that time.

JUDGE WAPNER: Were you in New York, Mr. Letterman?

MR. LETTERMAN: Oh, all right, damn it. (laughter and

applause.)

MR. CARSON: My case is, your honor, that Mr. Letterman

suffered no actual damages.

MR. LETTERMAN: I have photographic evidence right here,

by the way.

JUDGE WAPNER: When were those photographs taken?

MR. LETTERMAN: These pictures were taken 4/22/86, four

days after I asked for my truck to be returned. I asked if it

could be returned that evening, and I was told laughingly that

it would have to wait until Tuesday so they could do some of

this wonderful body work on it.

JUDGE WAPNER: Who took these pictures, Mr. Letterman?

MR. LETTERMAN: I took those pictures.

JUDGE WAPNER: You didn't take the one of yourself.

MR. LETTERMAN: Yeah. I was just testing the camera.

JUDGE WAPNER: Does he look like this? (laughter)

MR. CARSON: It's a common practice among comedians,

your honor, to play practical jokes and stunts from time to

time. It's almost an internecine thing that comedians do.

This at worst is a practical joke and Mr. Letterman suffered

no actual damages whatsoever.

JUDGE WAPNER: What other damage did you suffer,

Mr. Letterman, other than this headlight that you allege?

MR. LETTERMAN: I didn't get to use the truck for four

days. I use it on the weekends. I take it down to San Diego

and bring some friends over the border. (laughter and

applause)

MR. CARSON: There is no proof, your honor, the truck is

even in operating condition or actually runs.

JUDGE WAPNER: I could go on for a long time, gentlemen,

and I'm sure you have other evidence to present, but I think

I've probably heard enough, so I'm going to take a short

recess. I'll come back and give you my decision.

MR. CARSON: Thank you, your honor.

MR. LETTERMAN: Fair enough.

MR. CARSON: We will be right back for the judge's

decision.

[commercial break]

JUDGE WAPNER: You may be seated, gentlemen. I don't

know if you can take this unless you're sitting down.

Let me tell you first that by taking the car,

Mr. Carson, you did it because it was a nuisance. That's what

you are alleging. If it was truly a private nuisance, you can

abate the nuisance, if it is on public property, which it was.

MR. CARSON: Absolutely.

JUDGE WAPNER: If it wasn't a nuisance, and you abated

it using self-help, you are guilty of conversion. If you are

guilty of conversion, you are liable for damages.

MR. LETTERMAN: There you go. (laughter) Conversion.

If I've ever seen a converter, it's this guy. (laughter)

JUDGE WAPNER: Mr. Letterman, it's my turn.

MR. LETTERMAN: I'm sorry. I lost my head. Forgive me.

JUDGE WAPNER: He's lucky I'm not a comedian. I could

have said something.

(groans and applause.)

JUDGE WAPNER: A nuisance is defined as something that

is injurious to health or is indecent or offensive to the

senses.

MR. CARSON: All of those.

JUDGE WAPNER: Or something that interferes with the

comfortable enjoyment of life or property.

MR. CARSON: All of those.

JUDGE WAPNER: Now, it's not a very pretty sight, it's

not a very pretty truck, but I must agree with Mr. Letterman

that it's not a nuisance.

MR. LETTERMAN: Thank you very much. Oh, thank God.

Thank the Lord.

JUDGE WAPNER: It's not a nuisance. When we say it's

offensive, it has to be offensive to a reasonable person and

not just offensive to Johnny Carson. (hoots and applause)

MR. LETTERMAN: Thank you. Thank you.

JUDGE WAPNER: By that I don't suggest, sir, that you

are not reasonable. I just -- I say it is an objective

standard. It's a reasonable man standard or reasonable woman

standard.

So you didn't have any right to take the truck.

You did. You did it as a practical joke, perhaps, as a gag,

but the light was damaged, and from the evidence that I heard,

it was probably damaged in your possession. Therefore, I find

that you are liable to Mr. Letterman in the sum of $24.95.

MR. CARSON: 24.95?

JUDGE WAPNER: Yes.

MR. LETTERMAN: Yeah!

JUDGE WAPNER: And the steaks go back to Mr. Letterman.

MR. LETTERMAN: Oh, thank you very much.

JUDGE WAPNER: You can have the steaks.

MR. LETTERMAN: That's very generous of your honor.

Thank you very much.

(Letterman gets down on one knee and kisses

Judge Wapner's hand.)

[commercial break]

MR. CARSON: Well, you have reached a decision, and we

have to -- we both agreed to abide by this decision. There's

no appeal, right?

JUDGE WAPNER: That's right. You signed an agreement

that you would be bound.

MR. CARSON: And so there is $25. You owe me five

cents. (Mr. Carson hands $25 to Mr. Letterman.)

MR. LETTERMAN: Thank you very much. I have it right

here. (Mr. Letterman hands a nickel back to Mr. Carson.)

Thank you very much.

MR. CARSON: And I realize you are an honest judge,

because a lot of people were saying because you were on The

Tonight Show you would probably rule in my favor, but you ruled

in his favor.

JUDGE WAPNER: Who would say a thing like that?

MR. CARSON: Well, some of my staff, who have got a lot

of explaining to do after this is over. (laughter) I thought

this was a lock, if there ever was one.

Judge Wapner, thank you so much for being with us.

(Mr. Carson shakes Judge Wapner's hand.) We enjoyed having

you. Come back and see us.

JUDGE WAPNER: Thank you. It was a pleasure.

MR. CARSON: David, thank you.

(Mr. Carson refuses to shake Mr. Letterman's hand.)

MR. CARSON: No, no. I'm sorry. You got your money.

We'll see you soon. Good night.

The end.

No, I am HOME in Mississippi.
Central time is thee best.
Prime time ends at 10:PM.

I am watching Letterman now and it's 11:10PM.

The first night that Jay Leno had the Tonight Show as "his" show, no longer a guest host, he said nothing about Johnny Carson, who had just been hosting the show for 30 years...no praise or acknowledgement. He got a lot of flak for that.

I will *never* forget that, either. It was so bizarre.

I never forgave him for that. Johnny Carson was an icon. What Leno did was unforgiveable.

I also liked Judge Wapner's bit on the show "Sliders", where he gave they guys the death penalty.

Tonight Show, Feb 19, 1968
Johnny Carson and Jack Webb discuss "The Copper Clapper Caper"

Webb: "This is the City. Los Angeles, California. Some people rob for pleasure. Some rob because it's there. You never know. My name's Friday, I'm a cop. I was working the day watch out of Robbery when I got a call from the Acme School Bell Company. There'd been a robbery."
Carson: "There's been a robbery."
Webb: "Yes sir, what was it?"
Carson: "My clappers!"
Webb: "Your clappers?"
Carson: "Yeah, you know, those things inside a bell that makes them clang?"
Webb: "The clangers?"
Carson: "That's right, we call them clappers in the business."
Webb: "A clapper caper."
Carson: "What's that?"
Webb: "Nothing sir. Now, can I have the facts? What kind of clappers were stolen on this caper?"
Carson: "They were copper clappers."
Webb: "And where were they kept?"
Carson: "In the closet."
Webb: "Uh huh. You have any ideas who might have taken the copper clappers from the closet?"
Carson: "Well, just one. I fired a man. He swore he'd get even."
Webb: "What was his name?"
Carson: "Claude Cooper"
Webb: "You think he'd..."
Carson: "That's right. I think Claude Cooper copped my copper clappers. Kept in the closet."
Webb: "You know where this Claude Cooper is from?"
Carson: "Yuh. Cleveland"
Webb: "That figures. That figures."
Carson: "What makes it worse, they were clean."
Webb: "Clean copper clappers."
Carson: "That's right."
Webb: "Why do you think Cleveland's Claude Cooper would cop your clean copper clappers kept in your closet?"
Carson: "Only one reason."
Webb: "What's that?"
Carson: "He's a kleptomaniac."
Webb: "Who first discovered the copper clappers were copped?"
Carson: "My cleaning woman, Clara Clifford."
Webb: "That figures. Now let me see if I got the facts straight here. Cleaning woman Clara Clifford discovered your clean copper clappers kept in a closet were copped by Claude Cooper the kleptomaniac from Cleveland. Now, is that about it?"
Carson: "One other thing."
Webb: "What's that?"
Carson: "If I ever catch kleptomaniac Claude Cooper from Cleveland who copped my clean copper clappers kept in the closet..."
Webb: "Yes?"
Carson: "I'll clobber him!"

I still think this routine is best delivered on video. The transcript and audio miss Johnny's deadpan comedy style matched with Webb's stoic demeanor.

Not to split hairs, but standard LP speed is 33 and one third.

We've struck gold!

Your Favorite Johnny Carson Joke?