Mr. Parrot and I are going to the beach...
Posted on 01/30/2005 10:16:50 AM PST by TWohlford
Dear President Bush:
Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving.
California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all of the North East.
We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California. In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole country at 4:30 pm EST next Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be back in their states by then.
So you get Texas and all the former slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay. (Okay, we have to keep the Governor; we can live with that.) We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole Miss. We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get all the technological innovation in Alabama. We get about two-thirds of the tax revenue, and you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms to support, and we know how much you like that. Did I mention we produce about 70% of the nation's veggies? But heck the only greens the Bible-thumpers eat are the pickles on their Big Macs.
Oh yeah, another thing, don't plan on serving California wine at your state dinners. From now on it's imported French wine for you. Ouch, bet that hurts. Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice and anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to want all Blue States citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight, just ask your evangelicals. They have tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming home.
Anyway, we wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope, really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. Soon.
Sincerely,
California
You choke down this article from an unknown source like it was steak.
Maybe something will kill off every American in California.
Go get Laz!
LOL!
Well, I just viewed it as an opportunity to bash Californistan.
Truth be damned, I'm out to dis entire states!
This asswipe must have a mouse in her pocket. Liberals are deluded about their numbers...they think media hegemony translates into apostles.
Yeah, well too damn bad we get the breadbasket of the world--not to mention livestock. And when the next "big one" hits, you gonna have your hands open then to help from us "hicks."
So is Orange COunty.
That's another example of Democrat's promises, promises, promises, but never deliver the goods.
Okay, California, before you get too arrogant, what do you have to say to the fact that President Bush received nearly 45% of your vote? That's right, while Kerry got a majority, it was no landslide and there were PLENTY of Californians to disagree with the slimy sentiment presented in this.
Somebody please post the red/blue breakdown of the state of CF.
The TINY leftist Gheto/reservation counties will have a bit of a fight on their hands.
"Did I mention we produce about 70% of the nation's veggies?"
Sorry, I thought that you produced about that many of the nation's FRUITS! :-D
That is a very significant point. Where Bush won, he won decisivly, where kerry obtained a majority, he did so narrowly.
IOW, the democrats have very shallow support.
This is just some smarmy, immature leftists idea of political pornography.
Isn't CA the largest producer of Dairy products as well, no matter what Wisconsin says?
I thought the liberals were going to move to Canada. Did that plan fall through?
Canada said they did not want them. Turns out the american left is to nutty even for kanaduh.
Darn. I thought it seemed like a pretty good idea. Maybe we could pressure the Canadians --- or write a how-to comic book for our liberals urging them to go ahead and get to Canada anyway.
You need to draw that line a little above Wilmington DE
Those blue states mentioned will be red states soon, just a matter of time. Of course there will always be a few "spider holes" of blue people to contend with.
Mr. Parrot and I are going to the beach...
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