So, we have established that are both stupid and ugly. It has also come to my attention that your lineage is of questionable origin. One can only begin to wonder from what depths your ancestors crawled. From under which offal-covered, sulpher encrusted, petrified dinosaur turd you slithered. I expect that you were sired by a Cave-Troll and your mother was an Ogre. Perhaps a Cave-Troll buggered a platypus and the resultant goo that was not retained inside the platypus oozed into a tar-pit, thereby giving the impetus for your apparent spawning. A Leprechaun has a better lineage than do you.
allow me to elaborate...
How did this vile moderndaykhruschev, this diverticulum in Satan's colon, come to be? Well...
The first thing that happened wass that the moderndaykhruschev's daddy and its other daddy felt that "special way" about each other. Then, about nine months later, the stork did a flyby of the expectant parents - but not just any stork, no... this is a SPECIAL stork. A leprous, blighted, tattered, pus-dripping noxious braindead zombie stork, bearing its puling bundle of oozing misery - the gurgling drooling idiotic leftist democratic meatpuppet we know as the "not-a-troll" going by the name of moderndaykhruschev.
Despite its provenance, derived as it was from diverse and corrupted specimens of the less pleasant ungulates crossbred with various squamata and grotesquely mutated ranidae, this horror... this awful thing... this crime against all laws of Man, God, Nature, and Aesthetics somehow not only managed to survive but to THRIVE, expanding its polluted girth by flabby increments as the years snuck past its toxic perimeter.
Then, some decades later, when that troll matured (should I say, instead, "ripened"?) to the mental age of three, some benevolent but misguided soul showed it how to operate a net-linked computer when the circus freakshow keeper was not paying attention.
In a virtual case of water (though "water" is not precisely the >ah!< fluid I mean) seeking its own level, the troll automatically found its bumbling way to that hot-spot of all drooling retards, democrappicundergrown.compostheap.
The troll was so delighted to at long last be among wits of its own base level that it dissolved in a feculent bubbling mass of outgassing putrescence. When it re-coalesced in its new blighted environs, it took the form and function best suited to the Elite Masters of its race - the mindless slobbering sightless clammy-fisted eunuch known publicly by many names (Deaniac being one, Clintoonista another, and a more recent species called a JKoff) but known privately to their owners as "useful idiots."
This useful idiot was indoctrinated - nay! deeply marinated - in the Leftist's astigmatic and anencephalic vision of conservatives, then spewn forth like the gibbering overflow of a well-used and fermented satanic port-o-let, to contaminate, stain, and stink up the more wholesome and cleanly realms of the internet, so that the great old ones - Cthulhu, Nyarlathotep, and the Unmentionable One (Teddy Kennedy) among them - can spread their glandered dominion ever farther.
As is common with such purulent squamous masses, moderndaykhruschev washed up on our shores. In a vain attempt to blend in, and befoul our pristine realm with its rank and rotted parody of our way of thinking, this moderndaykhruschev deposited an infantile and utterly inane pool of parasite-laden swamp-floater rectal drippings as a vanity post.
This sudden gust of methane and stinks of less describable nature roused the denizens of this fair land to wrath and vengeance. Cruel and merciless warriors known as the Viking Kitties descended upon the hapless blob of noisome jelly, gashing it with barbs of wit and pith. Such martial valor alerted the Almighty Mod of this land.
Jove thundered, and the Lightnings smote down upon this yammering moderndaykhruschev with great vengeance and furious anger!
Methane emanations ignited, and moderndaykhruschev detonated, flashing into an expanding pink mist of DUh.
There you have it, then. The short (and postable) version.