Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

You Can Judge This Book by Its Cover (First Impressions are Valid)
The New York Sun ^ | 11 January 200k | MICHAEL SHERMER (Book Review)

Posted on 01/12/2005 4:01:27 PM PST by shrinkermd

Anyone who does a lot of public speaking knows there are certain questions that inevitably arise from the audience in a Q&A. In my case, lecturing on pseudoscience and the paranormal, I am almost always asked: What is my position on the afterlife? ("I'm for it"), have I ever encountered a mystery that science cannot explain? ("Paris Hilton"), and have I ever been skeptical of something that turned out to be real?

(Excerpt) Read more at nysun.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: first; impressions
"The best predictor of how well a psychotherapist or marriage counselor will work for you is the impression you have of that person in the first five minutes of the first session.

I had trouble posting this article. Below is another quote from the article.

"What is happening here is non-rational (not irrational) analysis at a level below conscious awareness. Students who view three 10-second video clips of a professor, for example, give roughly the same ratings of that professor's effectiveness as those students who actually took the course. The same effect can be seen in dating, where first impressions are everything, as is well known by those who have tried "speed dating" (a trendy way to meet people, in which each of multiple "dates" in one evening lasts only six minutes).

The whole idea is first impressions have both validity and reliability.

Many years ago a psychologist once wrote a book in which he claimed that psychotherapy was nothing but a purchase of friendship and if you didn't experience the therapist as a friend you should fire him. Of course, he meant a knowledgeable friend, but his approach had and has merit.

1 posted on 01/12/2005 4:01:28 PM PST by shrinkermd
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: shrinkermd
My wife asked me to move in with her (specifically, to the third bedroom in a house with three roommates) after she knew me for 15 minutes.

She had second thoughts after 30 minutes. We were platonic friends for 2 years after that, and finally got together and married for 10 years plus now. She insists that she wasn't ready for anything when she first met me, having just gotten a divorce. But I can't help but think that we would have an additional 2 years of happy married life had I become her roommate the day I met her. Maybe it wouldnt' have happened that way. Who knows?

First impression, in this case, was totally correct.

2 posted on 01/12/2005 4:10:30 PM PST by narby (If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Comment #3 Removed by Moderator

To: Great Prophet Zarquon

This makes me feel better... at 24, the only thing I know about girls is when it's *not* right. But I recently met a girl who has not only made it to about 6 "dates", she lives 6 hours away and I travel there as often as possible. The only problem is that at 19, she's 5 years younger than me. I remember that in the last 5 years, I've totally changed as a person and I have this tiny fear that she will grow and change to be different... leaving me in the dust.

But one day at a timeI guess... Sorry to get sappy LOL!!!


4 posted on 01/12/2005 5:34:40 PM PST by t_skoz ("let me be who I am - let me kick out the jams!")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: shrinkermd

read later


5 posted on 01/12/2005 6:58:29 PM PST by LiteKeeper (Secularization of America is happening)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: shrinkermd

Speed dating,Anything like speed sex?


6 posted on 01/12/2005 7:07:54 PM PST by Boazo (From the mind of BOAZO)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: t_skoz

My almost 19 year old daughter's boyfriend is 23. He is great for her.

She has never been happy with boys her age. She's a bit of an "old soul" so she never felt right with the boys her age.

It's funny, because all though this guy is a grown man, NOT ONE person in my family disapproves. Not even her father or grandparents.

These two just seem right together. I hope your relationship goes well.


7 posted on 01/12/2005 9:27:02 PM PST by texasflower (Liberty can change habits. ~ President George W. Bush 10/08/04)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

Comment #8 Removed by Moderator

To: Great Prophet Zarquon
Old enough to marry at least. Then a nice year or so alone before the babies start coming!

I didn't mention in my earlier post, but this guy is recently discharged from the army. He was in the initial phase of the war and spent 14 months there, as a member of the 101st under General Petraeus in Mosul.

He still carries a picture in his wallet of a tiny Iraqi girl that he got fond of when he was there. He mails her dresses and toys still.

He's well decorated and started college almost as soon as he got home.

He does his reserve stuff and still loves it. He plans for either career military after college or FBI.

So those things help me know that she's got a guy of good caliber!
9 posted on 01/13/2005 9:14:55 PM PST by texasflower (Liberty can change habits. ~ President George W. Bush 10/08/04)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson