Posted on 01/04/2005 12:24:26 PM PST by Keyes2000mt
The words were said countless thousands of times last year as a minister concluded the ceremony. "What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder." But so often man and woman do.
While gay marriage has been roundly condemned in most churches (and rightly so), you will not hear much about divorce. In many cases, if divorce is discussed in church, it's talked about as this horrible circumstance that comes upon people, listed in the same breath as automobile accidents or serious illnesses.
The Bible is quite clear on the issue of divorce. Malachi 2:16 says it clearly, "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away (i.e. Divorce)..." Hate's a strong word and Christ reiterates this in the New Testament. Yet, in the church, even in Conservative churches, a man is more likely to feel uncomfortable with pierced ear than with a couple divorces behind him.
There's good reason why the church and conservatives are skittish about this topic. There's no one who doesn't know someone who's been divorced. They fill our church pews every Sunday. We know them to be decent folks who agree with us on a lot of cultural issues. Randall Terry, Newt Gingrich, and Rush Limbaugh have all been divorced.
We also know folks who have been victimized by their ex-spouse: abused, cheated on, and treated like dirt. Or, perhaps you dear reader have had a divorce where you weren't at fault and that you didn't choose.
On the other hand, most Christians know very few homosexuals and even less know homosexuals who'd like to get married. The odds of a pastor offending a large tither whose gay and wants to get married is quite small.
To say our current divorce rate is a national sin is not to say that all divorcees are to be condemned and treated as despicable outcasts. The church should be compassionate, but even as Christ said, "Go and sin no more," It must be proactive in dealing with divorce.
Divorce must be taught against strongly in the church. The church as a community should be dedicated to helping preserve the marriages of the church. Strengthening the marriages of believers should be considered as important if not more so than evangelism. Children of broken homes often wander spiritually and in many cases fall from faith. Thus, a large church may win 100 converts, but if it produces 40 broken homes in the same year that leads to 100 angry and embittered children, it is not truly building the Kingdom of God.
Also, church discipline should be used when appropriate for those who divorce without just cause and refuse reconciliation efforts. Watching Cornerstone Television, I saw former NFL player and Pastor of Antioch Bible Church Ken Hutcherson. He organized the Mayday for Marriage rally in Washington, DC opposing gay marriage. Call him anything you like, but don't call him a gay-hating hypocrite. Hutcherson said that in the past year, he'd censured five members of the church, including some for ending marriages without just cause.
The structure of most Protestant Churches is anti-authoritarian and the idea of church discipline is scary to most of us as we've heard horror stories about how cults have abused it. However, desperate times call for desperate measures and a biblical use of church discipline could aid in preserving marriages.
Secular Action
The devastating number of divorces is an area where the interests of church and state collide. Studies have shown that divorces lead to economic problems for states and communities, as well as the long term problems that come from children of broken marriages. It's no accident that the richest states are those with the lowest divorce rates.
The fact is that anyone who finds themselves in a bad marriage made a mistake at one time or another. Half the time, their biggest mistake was getting married in the first place. To prevent these bad matches or to help get the marriage off on a better start, marrying couples should be required to undergo several hours of marriage classes and/or marital counseling from a licensed minister or marriage counselor.
Secondly, no-fault divorce laws must be reformed. Marriage is the most important relationship a person has legally, yet it has all the force and effect of a month-to-month lease thanks to no-fault divorce laws. The laws should be reformed so a no-fault divorce can only be obtained if both parties consent. This would also reduce the court costs associated with issues of custody and division of the property as a no-fault divorce could only be obtained if both parties were agreed on it.
Those who believe in gay marriage have pointed to divorce as an argument against those who seek to protect marriage from same sex unions. I reject the argument that one evil prospering requires that we allow another blow to traditional family values. However, preserving the family is about more than one single issue and if we're going to be serious about it, we have to address all the issues that threaten the survival of the Family.
Your pre-nup is your business. If others' don't like it, what's it to them? Maybe they don't care about asset protection.
It's apparent, that it is the FEMENIST who are the ones who have the problem with MAIL ORDER BRIDES.
If anything ? a woman who puts her career before he husband " IN NOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD
So, what does that mean? Should she not have an education or a job? What different worlds we inhabit. My rebbetzin is an ob/gyn. He husband, my rabbi, is delighted that his daughters (and sons) are all in college. They obviously will all be pursuing careers.
If you feel like you need to control women, then yes, go order a bride or just check out the leather scene.
That's not a description of any Christian marriage I know of. I'll see if my intelligent and articulate (not to mention ravishingly beautiful :)) wife is interested in contributing her take on things...
Thx 4 your kind words.
Blessings to you and yours in the New Year.
I have a problem with mail order brides as many of them are looking for a green card. Some American men do not relaize that what makes the USA great is is the same thing that allows American women to be American women. The right to accomplish things on their own without having to ask permission.
I'm going off of how it is being presented here.
It also has a bit to say about
SUBMITTING ONE TO ANOTHER
and
Husbands loving their wives as Christ Loved The Church--he laid down His life for The Church.
In my experience, the 'men' pontificating tons about submission don't know flip about EARNING respect etc. and out of their insecurities try and demand it.
Doesn't work in the military well. Doesn't work in marriage at all.
Maybe we don't feel the need to either be a boss or or have one in our homes to have successful lives.
What do you mean ? in todays culture ? I see the man, who are the ones who have to ask PERMISSION from their wives to even go out with his buddies or anyplace.
Or ask permission from their wives to spend money.
You seem to have a lot of resentment issues. Wow. How sad.
No one should be seeking permission for that - man or woman -from their spouse. Your husband or wife is not your child, nor should be treated as such.
In practical terms that looks like a guy who strives to consider his wife's happiness before his own. 24-7. Sound like the first choice of any guys you know? Of course not. Any guy who really walks the talk is constantly thinking of his wife before himself. Do I do that successfully all the time? Probably not, but I submit myself to Christ and ask for his assistance in being the husband I'm called to be. Just as likely that my wife must constantly pray for a submissive spirit when it isn't her first natural inclination.
Random ping to names I've seen associated with this or related topics.
Just as likely that my wife must constantly pray for a submissive spirit when it isn't her first natural inclination.
Glad I'm Jewish.
Wow. Sort of like what you are doing right now?
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