Posted on 01/04/2005 12:24:26 PM PST by Keyes2000mt
The words were said countless thousands of times last year as a minister concluded the ceremony. "What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder." But so often man and woman do.
While gay marriage has been roundly condemned in most churches (and rightly so), you will not hear much about divorce. In many cases, if divorce is discussed in church, it's talked about as this horrible circumstance that comes upon people, listed in the same breath as automobile accidents or serious illnesses.
The Bible is quite clear on the issue of divorce. Malachi 2:16 says it clearly, "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away (i.e. Divorce)..." Hate's a strong word and Christ reiterates this in the New Testament. Yet, in the church, even in Conservative churches, a man is more likely to feel uncomfortable with pierced ear than with a couple divorces behind him.
There's good reason why the church and conservatives are skittish about this topic. There's no one who doesn't know someone who's been divorced. They fill our church pews every Sunday. We know them to be decent folks who agree with us on a lot of cultural issues. Randall Terry, Newt Gingrich, and Rush Limbaugh have all been divorced.
We also know folks who have been victimized by their ex-spouse: abused, cheated on, and treated like dirt. Or, perhaps you dear reader have had a divorce where you weren't at fault and that you didn't choose.
On the other hand, most Christians know very few homosexuals and even less know homosexuals who'd like to get married. The odds of a pastor offending a large tither whose gay and wants to get married is quite small.
To say our current divorce rate is a national sin is not to say that all divorcees are to be condemned and treated as despicable outcasts. The church should be compassionate, but even as Christ said, "Go and sin no more," It must be proactive in dealing with divorce.
Divorce must be taught against strongly in the church. The church as a community should be dedicated to helping preserve the marriages of the church. Strengthening the marriages of believers should be considered as important if not more so than evangelism. Children of broken homes often wander spiritually and in many cases fall from faith. Thus, a large church may win 100 converts, but if it produces 40 broken homes in the same year that leads to 100 angry and embittered children, it is not truly building the Kingdom of God.
Also, church discipline should be used when appropriate for those who divorce without just cause and refuse reconciliation efforts. Watching Cornerstone Television, I saw former NFL player and Pastor of Antioch Bible Church Ken Hutcherson. He organized the Mayday for Marriage rally in Washington, DC opposing gay marriage. Call him anything you like, but don't call him a gay-hating hypocrite. Hutcherson said that in the past year, he'd censured five members of the church, including some for ending marriages without just cause.
The structure of most Protestant Churches is anti-authoritarian and the idea of church discipline is scary to most of us as we've heard horror stories about how cults have abused it. However, desperate times call for desperate measures and a biblical use of church discipline could aid in preserving marriages.
Secular Action
The devastating number of divorces is an area where the interests of church and state collide. Studies have shown that divorces lead to economic problems for states and communities, as well as the long term problems that come from children of broken marriages. It's no accident that the richest states are those with the lowest divorce rates.
The fact is that anyone who finds themselves in a bad marriage made a mistake at one time or another. Half the time, their biggest mistake was getting married in the first place. To prevent these bad matches or to help get the marriage off on a better start, marrying couples should be required to undergo several hours of marriage classes and/or marital counseling from a licensed minister or marriage counselor.
Secondly, no-fault divorce laws must be reformed. Marriage is the most important relationship a person has legally, yet it has all the force and effect of a month-to-month lease thanks to no-fault divorce laws. The laws should be reformed so a no-fault divorce can only be obtained if both parties consent. This would also reduce the court costs associated with issues of custody and division of the property as a no-fault divorce could only be obtained if both parties were agreed on it.
Those who believe in gay marriage have pointed to divorce as an argument against those who seek to protect marriage from same sex unions. I reject the argument that one evil prospering requires that we allow another blow to traditional family values. However, preserving the family is about more than one single issue and if we're going to be serious about it, we have to address all the issues that threaten the survival of the Family.
Awright youse two. Get a room!
What? We don't even speak to each other on FR, why would we do that?
Apparently, it's too easy to get married.
Here too. Guess I'll have plenty of friends who will be with me.
And usually for a very good reason. I don't think any guy gets up in the morning and says, "Gee! Today would be a great day to start getting soaked for alimony and child support!"
I'm so incredibly, overwhelmingly proud of you *sniff*. Now quit judging the rest of us. Thanks.
You betcha.
I'm making up a Divorcees in Hell ping list; want on?
Having attended churches of multiple denominations and tent meeting the divorce rate of teh "Ungodly" was a favorite topic of preachers and evangelists and was given as a proof that God was with the church and in the lives of belivers and that bother were morally supperior to the world.
Recently I was reading something from ine of the apostollic fathers -- The people taht carried the baton after the apostles died and a hundred or more years before the Roman catholic Church came into being.
The writer made a point that Christ did not chose the Apostles because they were righteous men but because they were sinners. He then quoted some verses to back supposition -- I was stunned this theme is to intregally woven in the Gospels that it has become hidden. Jesus came not to save the righteous but sinners to which paul said I AM chief not was.
And because Christ deals with sinners even the divorced whether they be church divorced or are from a broken marriage instead of their being assigned to the blackest hell as I used to hear preached, the bible says they can come to Jesus and find Him dispensing salvation and grace.
Christ came to save sinners.
Actually, parents used to do that during a long ritual called "courtship" where the couple spent more time figuring their relationship out than making out (or fornicating).
The problem is that marriage is seen as something done to fulfill the person getting married, not something givin as an unreserved gift to the person you are marrying. People divorce because it isn't fun anymore so what did they really do, get married or shack up with a certificate?
Contrary to popular opinion, Jesus did not counter Moses' law for divorce. Jesus confirmed it as something required in a fallen world. But He did emphasize that divorce wasn't to be taken lightly. It's a last resort of desparate people who are being destroyed by the marriage.
Shalom.
Surely no pun intended, but don't they always?!?
LOL! I'm on the list going to hell also. My ex can keep your's company. :)
Okay, I may be accused of being a lot of things but being a lesbian isn't one of them.
My table by the flaming pit is already reserved. You better get it done soon yourself if you want to get a good seat.
The Grateful Dead are the house band...
(my attendence is not based on divorce, but we won't get into that)
Add me too! If I knew hell was this good, I would have gotten divorced a long time ago.
Woohoo, what fun!
The article had it spot on about why Pastors don't talk about this. Count the number of frothing rants in the talkbacks already!
How DARE you talk about MY shortcomings. Talk about HIS over there you %(%*^& insenstive pastor!
Maybe if we simply eliminated the concept of "no fault divorce," getting a divorce wouldn't be so easy.
I find I am too quick to use that as an excuse to keep sinning instead of a source of rededication to righteousness out of gratitude for what Jesus has done for me.
That may be just me, though.
Shalom.
Well, listen, my husband (current), who I WILL be bringing, has his own band, too!
People with the band ALWAYS have a good table.
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"Gee! Today would be a great day to start getting soaked for alimony and child support!"
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No, but he probably thinks: Man, that secretary is hot and she has been smiling at me an awful lot...
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