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What's a peacenik to do when son joins Army?
Chicago Sun-Times ^ | December 24, 2004 | CATHLEEN FALSANI RELIGION WRITER

Posted on 12/24/2004 8:22:32 AM PST by Chi-townChief

Let's say you're a big peacenik. Card-carrying. World class. You marched in anti-war protests and sat in sit-ins when you were a college student during the Vietnam War. Maybe you even got tear-gassed while holding hands with Mary from Peter, Paul and Mary during a particularly nasty protest in front of the Conrad Hilton back in '68.

You've been arrested dozens of times for civil disobedience, continue to march, or sit, or picket, or shout on behalf of peace, and are one of the loudest voices in Chicago against President Bush and what you consider to be his immoral war in Iraq.

Now, let's say you have a son.

And he decides to join the Army.

What do you do?

That's what the Rev. Michael Pfleger, the activist pastor of Chicago's St. Sabina Roman Catholic Church and die-hard peacenik in question, asked himself when his eldest son, 30-year-old Lamar Michael Pfleger, called home in late August to say he'd enlisted.

"When he first told me that this was something he had made a decision to do, I was shocked, I have to admit that," Mike Pfleger told me this month as the three of us -- Mike in his black-on-black priestly garb and worried expression, Lamar in his new Army fatigues with the word PFLEGER printed in black, capital letters over his right chest -- chatted at the St. Sabina's parsonage, where Lamar grew up after Pfleger adopted him 21 years ago.

"He basically told me after he'd enlisted," the elder Pfleger said. "He knew where I stood, but he'd made up his mind."

Son's decision

In truth, Mike Pfleger was heartsick.

As an activist priest who insists we're fighting an unjust, preemptive war based on lies, yes. But more so, as, simply, a dad.

"I told him, I cannot feel good about it because he's my son, and I love him and I care about him," the normally bombastic priest said quietly. "My prayer for him and for Beronti, my other son, every day is for their safety and that they can achieve their goals. And that's my prayer for him, that he will achieve whatever dreams and goals God has for him. And I support him 100 percent in his decision. It's not my decision. And it shouldn't be. It should be his."

Lamar Pfleger is strapping, soft-spoken and African American, the opposite in many ways of his father, the blond, blue-eyed firebrand. But they share a stubborn streak, as well as a sense of spiritual mission.

A few years ago, Lamar was working for an airline in a job he loved. But then 9/11 happened and everything changed. The airlines suffered and jobs were cut. He survived the first round of layoffs, but not the second. A few years later, he found himself working as the assistant manager of a video store, depressed and unfulfilled. In prayer he felt God leading him to join the military, he told me.

"I knew I could be doing a lot more besides what I was doing. That's pretty much why I decided to go in," he said. "I'd rather go over there and stop them before they come over here and start doing it. And that's my point. . . . If I can prevent that from happening, I'll sleep better at night, too."

Childhood restrictions

This from a kid who wasn't allowed to play with toy guns as a child. "Not even squirt guns," his father said, proudly. "I got a cowboy gun once for my birthday, and he told me I had to take it back," Lamar recalled. "From then on, I should have known what kind of protest I was in for."

A few days earlier, I had called the elder Pfleger to wish him a Merry Christmas. "And how are your boys?" I asked. (In addition to Lamar, Pfleger has a younger son, 25-year-old Beronti, whom he adopted 13 years ago.)

All I heard on the other end of the line was a heavy sigh. I prodded and Mike told me how he'd just returned from Lamar's graduation from basic training in Georgia and how he'd cried through the whole thing. Happily, Mike said, Lamar -- "thank you, Jesus" -- had been assigned to a base in Seattle for at least a year.

When the three of us got together, I asked Lamar about his assignment in a combat striker unit of the 2nd Infantry at Fort Lewis in Seattle.

I kind of wish I hadn't.

The son took a deep breath, eyes darting to the ceiling, nostrils flaring nervously, and looked at his father.

"I've been assigned to Fort Lewis where I'll be taking classes and just staying in physical shape and probably be on standby until I'm possibly deployed. There's a good chance . . ." Lamar said, pausing uncomfortably, and turning toward his father. "I didn't want to tell my dad that, but there's a good chance I might be [deployed to Iraq]."

The father blanched visibly, but remained silent and tried to smile.

This must be killing him, I thought.

"Coming home, you know, missing a limb, that scares me more than anything," Lamar continued. "I would like to go by the phrase, 'Take all of me or take none of me.' . . . I'll be praying for myself, 'God, please forgive me for whatever I have to do.' But in the long run, it's something I have to do," he said.

'Death . . . anywhere'

Mike Pfleger is praying that his son won't be sent to Iraq.

"If he does, I'll continue to pray for his safety, no matter where he is," the priest said. "You don't have to be in Iraq to get maimed or killed. It can happen on a street. My youngest son, Jarvis, died here, three blocks away from here. So I know that harm or danger or death can come anywhere."

(Pfleger's foster son Jarvis was killed in gang crossfire seven years ago at the age of 17.)

"I just don't want my dad to worry," Lamar said.

"Not much hope of that, but he's gonna be all right because prayer is powerful," Mike Pfleger said, reaching out and touching his son's shoulder. "You're gonna be all right."

U.S. Army Pvt. Lamar Pfleger reports for duty Jan. 16.

And our prayers go with him.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Extended News; News/Current Events; US: Illinois; War on Terror
KEYWORDS: genx; militaryfamilies; peaceniks; pfleger
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To: Chi-townChief
"I told him, I cannot feel good about it because he's my son

*************

I would have had more respect for him if it weren't for that statement. The last thing his son needs as he goes off to war is to have this on his mind.

Someone posted that the son is more mature than the father. I have to agree with that.

21 posted on 12/24/2004 8:41:57 AM PST by trisham
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To: Maria S
"Yeah, no kidding! I, too, wonder how a catholic priest has kids!?!"

Was wondering the same myself...

22 posted on 12/24/2004 8:42:20 AM PST by libs_kma (USA: The land of the Free....Because of the Brave!)
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To: Maria S

If I remember correctly, there is a way for a previously married guy becoming a priest. I don't remember the exact details but there was a deacon in a church on Fort Leonardwood doing just that. It might have had to do with being a widow.


23 posted on 12/24/2004 8:42:25 AM PST by Dutch Boy
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To: Drango
And I support him 100 percent in his decision.

I don't believe him.

Me neither. Wait till this young man gets his orders to report for duty in Iraq, what will you say then "Hippie Priest"?

24 posted on 12/24/2004 8:42:35 AM PST by rocksblues (RINO's = McCain, Lott, Collins, Hagel, Coleman ! developing)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear
Sounds like he adopted. Is that forbidden?

Yep, but he did it anyway, and the cardinal didn't try to stop him. {{{sigh}}}

25 posted on 12/24/2004 8:43:29 AM PST by BlessedBeGod (George W. Bush -- The Terror of the Terrorists)
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To: Chi-townChief

What to do? Oh, maybe WHINE TO THE MEDIA?


26 posted on 12/24/2004 8:43:54 AM PST by JimRed (Investigate, overturn and prosecute vote fraud in the State of Washington !)
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To: Dutch Boy

Widowed men (with children) can become priests. So, in special cases, can married men who have previously been Protestant pastors or priests. (Married men are also regularly ordained, rather than exceptions, in the Eastern Catholic and Orthodox Churches.)

Of course, if people had only read the article, they would have known that the boys were adopted.


27 posted on 12/24/2004 8:47:13 AM PST by Tax-chick (Benedicere cor tuo! Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri?)
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To: Chi-townChief

My initial reaction was to say 'PRAY"..but considering the source.maybe that's NOT such a good idea..


28 posted on 12/24/2004 8:47:16 AM PST by ken5050 (Ann Coulter needs to have children ASAP to propagate her gene pool. Any volunteers?)
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To: Chi-townChief; risk; bear11

.

Ain't CLARITY great..?????????


Time, perhaps, for the Father to finally LISTEN to his Son...

...before he loses him...

...one way or the other..????


For...


MEL's -PASSION- was sparked by -WE WERE SOLDIERS-

http://www.TheAlamoFILM.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=39081




Signed:.."ALOHA RONNIE" Guyer
Veteran-"WE WERE SOLDIERS" Battle of IA DRANG-1965, Landing Zone Falcon

http://www.WeWereSoldiers.com
http://www.lzxray.com/guyer_set1.htm

.


29 posted on 12/24/2004 8:47:30 AM PST by ALOHA RONNIE ("ALOHA RONNIE" Guyer/Veteran-"WE WERE SOLDIERS" Battle of IA DRANG-1965 http://www.lzxray.comi)
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To: Chi-townChief

Easy question to answer: stop hoping our troops get killed.


30 posted on 12/24/2004 8:51:46 AM PST by thoughtomator (Nobody expects the secular inquisition!)
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To: Chi-townChief

Ditto...


31 posted on 12/24/2004 8:51:56 AM PST by Bush Revolution (Merry Christmas to all...May all the troops know we support and love them...)
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To: Chi-townChief

What's a peacenik to do when son joins Army?

Praise the Lord and pass the ammo.


32 posted on 12/24/2004 8:52:49 AM PST by TalBlack
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To: Tax-chick
... it's very hard for any parent to have a child reject your strongly-held convictions.

I'm sure Father Mike realizes his own politics are a luxury paid for by men like his son.

33 posted on 12/24/2004 8:53:04 AM PST by papertyger
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To: BlessedBeGod
I was not aware of that. Is having foster children also forbidden or just adopting? Because I know of a few nuns that have taken in foster children and have never heard anyone say anything about it. Or it is just priests that have that restriction?
34 posted on 12/24/2004 8:54:52 AM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum europe vincendarum (Merry Christmas))
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To: Chi-townChief
"Lamar Pfleger is strapping, soft-spoken and African American, the opposite in many ways of his father, the blond, blue-eyed firebrand."

Obviously Lamar's black, patriotic parental genes have overridden his blond, blue-eyed firebrand daddy's upbringing.

35 posted on 12/24/2004 8:56:07 AM PST by G.Mason (The replies by this poster are meant for self amusement only. Read at your own discretion.)
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To: Chi-townChief
Um.....if I were a Reverend I'd give a low whistle and think to myself "Damn....God does work in mysterious ways."
36 posted on 12/24/2004 8:58:32 AM PST by Psycho_Bunny (“I know a great deal about the Middle East because I’ve been raising Arabian horses" Patrick Swazey)
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To: Maria S

Priests adopt, but I don't think they're supposed to. I also think that a Catholic priest can legitimately be married and have children if he was an Anglican priest with family, and decided to become Catholic.


37 posted on 12/24/2004 8:58:40 AM PST by July 4th (A vacant lot cancelled out my vote for Bush.)
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To: Chi-townChief

Pacifists are parasites who depend on brave men to protect them.


These moral cowards curse their nation's troops, but without them, they would have been enslaved or exterminated long ago.

Blind self-righteous parasites.


38 posted on 12/24/2004 8:59:54 AM PST by Travis McGee (----- www.EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com -----)
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To: G.Mason

May I steal your tagline?


39 posted on 12/24/2004 9:02:06 AM PST by El Gran Salseron (My wife just won the "Inmate of the Month Award!" :-))
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To: Travis McGee

Or maybe "borrow" is a better word.


40 posted on 12/24/2004 9:02:35 AM PST by El Gran Salseron (My wife just won the "Inmate of the Month Award!" :-))
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