I take that on a case-by-case basis. I start with the assumption that hyphenated women love their husbands less than their careers.
Man, am I ever asking for it today!
Why, yes. Yes you are. ;O)
I was not hyphenated in my first marriage, although I did use my maiden name for business purposes. We were both in the same field in a small town and I was accused of hooking up with him only to further my career. So I used my maiden name as my "stage name" (I was in radio)...I took back my maiden name when I divorced the abusive SOB.
ITA with you. it is also nice to have your kids have the same last name as you. with no hyphens.
Women who chose a hyphenated last name are making a PUBLIC STATEMENT that they have a personality problem. In the face of long tradition, they CHOOSE to disrespect their husbands by refusing to take their name. As a father of six children, I have advised MY SONS to avoid women with this kind of attitude problem [ it does not bode well for their future happiness] and MY DAUGHTERS to love their husbands enough to take their names, and to avoid becoming quarrelsome shrews.
I have advised ALL of my children that spousal abuse is also not acceptable; in addition, I have advised them that false claims of spousal abuse are also not acceptable.
I've got a hyphenated surname and I don't love my husband any less than my career. (I know you're being partially facetious, at least I hope you are!) Heck, I gave up my career once our son was born, and I'm loving every minute of it.
Here's my case:
I went to a very liberal broadcast journalism school and worked my rear-end off for years to get to the spot where I had producer credits on a few national TV series.
None of the libs in my graduating class went anywhere in television, not one. They all thought they'd be the next Dan Blather or Tom Brokaw.
None of them would recognize me by my husband's surname as I married quite a few years after college.
I like to think of it as rubbing their nose it when they saw the credit roll and recognized that "Miss Conservative" made it in the 'biz'.
Petty? Probably.
Watching a no work ethic liberal squirm and make excuses for their lack of success? Priceless.
Anyway, that's my case.
In my social life and at school I go by my husband's surname, which is all the time anymore!
No offense taken by your comments BTW. A lot of people don't understand the individual reasons why some women hyphenate their last names, especially those of us who bathe regularly and have never owned a pair of Birkenstocks.
Merry Christmas to you and yours Xena!
You're absolutely right. Don't back down.