Posted on 12/22/2004 8:45:41 AM PST by Dustin Hawkins
By signing it, Kris Kringle agrees not to sue you on the basis of:
your failure to provide him with nutrition information and a list of ingredients (the "Grandma's Secret Recipe" clause);
your failure to caution him of the potential for overeating because cookies taste “yummy” and are provided at no cost;
your failure to offer "healthier" cookie alternatives (e.g., tofu bars);
your failure to warn him that cookies may be habit-forming and/or irresistible; and
your failure to notify him that eating way too many cookies may lead to even greater levels of obesity (the "Sanity Clause").
(Excerpt) Read more at consumerfreedom.com ...
Or you could leave him "artificially sweetened cookies" anf give him liver cancer.
Santa Clause redux.
PETA will still sue because you made "Wide Load" Claus even heavier which is cruel to the oppressed tarandus-Americans (aka Reindeer).
My daughter told me that Santa shouldn't get cookies because he is too fat. I told her to leave him a bacon sandwich and a beer instead. She said ok.
On behalf of the reindeer, I am suing for increasing their workload by Santa's excess poundage! Geragos, I hear you're available!
Priceless, make sure you have her tell her teacher that (If she's old enough to go to school.)
How would this affect the lawsuit on behalf of the reindeer against all of humanity for continuing to produce more and more children requiring faster and faster travel every Christmas Eve? Another suit has been filed against Santa Claus for failing to add reindeer to his team each year to compensate for the extra deerpower required to haul the gifts for humanity.
Per the trial lawyers, Rudolph has been excluded from the lawsuits as a claimant since his red nose clearly identifies him as a supporter of the current administration.
"Geragos, I hear you're available!"
But he's a loser...Better call Johnny Cochran: "The reindeer sit 'til Santa quits!"
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