Clinton White House Intern Employment Application
Name: _________________ (Optional--if I forget, I'll use "Kiddo.")
Age:
Legal: __
Under: __ (Not a disqualifying answer)
Sex:
Oral __
Improper __ (Not a disqualifying answer)
Position applying for:
On top: __
Below: __
Behind: __
Other: __ (Please describe in graphic detail.)
______________________________________
______________________________________
______________________________________
Education Level:
You can't get pregnant if you do it standing up __
Oral sex is not adultery __
You're still a virgin if he pulls out early __
It's not perjury if it's a civil case __
Less than five women isn't cheating __
Typing Speed: __ words per minute.
__ words per minute using only tongue.
Distance can suck a golf ball though a garden hose:
5 feet: __
10 feet: __
100 feet: __
Don't need garden hose: __
List other talents that you believe qualify you for a White House position:
Above the waist:
______________________________________ Below the waist:
______________________________________ Kama Sutra:
Page number(s): ______________________________________
Do you or any of your friends own a tape recorder?
No __
Grand jury alert __
Do you keep a diary?
No __
Yes __
If yes, do you lie to it?
______________________________________
How would you best describe your reasons for wanting to work for the White House?
Serve my country __
Report what is going on to Hillary __
Join the Air Force One Mile High Club __
Previous Experience:
Hugh Hefner: __
Dallas Cowboys: __
Seventh Fleet: __
JFK: __
The Night Stalker __
Reason for leaving previous position?
Employer died in ecstasy __
Subpoena __
Death threat from employer's wife __
Boyfriend killed employer __
but it's OK. He still in jail __