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My family came here in the 20th century, so we're not going find any of my ancestors in either the Revolutionary War or the Civil War.

We have no records of any member of my husband's family fighting with either side in the Civil War, just the Revolution. However, with a slight spelling change (apparently common in his family) his last name is a rather prominent name in some parts of Virginia. So one never knows.

My family came here in the 20th century
Well then, WELCOME to the USA too!
We have been here for a while. We've got records of relative on my Mothers side in the Revolutionary war. Seems that my Dads side spontaneously generated around 1800. We have some records that they could have been here as far back as the 1730's but the "tie-in" in only validated in one very weak place. Most of our family records were destroyed when the courthouse was burned in Union, MS during the Civil War. We have relatives Father, Son, and Grandson that were killed in Vicksburg. Another that was captured at Fort Donelson. He was held in a POW camp somewhere outside of Chicago until returned during a POW exchange. He ended up on the Roanoke river near Plymouth, NC at when hostilities ended. Had to walk home. Took him nearly three months.
We have many other's who fought with several units.
However, none of this makes me anymore Southern than anyone else IMHO.
I am Southern because I choose to be and we welcome anyone who enjoys our values.

Cordually,
GE