If You Suspect You Might Have A Drinking Problem (An Open Letter)

I have written this to describe my experiences of the past 14 months as I have worked to resolve my drinking problem. Everyone is different and I do not propose to be an expert on this topic, but I have my own personal experience and I am sharing it in the hope that it might help someone else to solve this problem and change their life.

I have now been sober for 14 months without a drop of alcohol. This is not a long time as compared to over 25 years of heavy drinking, but I also know something else: I am totally confident that I will never drink again.

In that 14 months I have made it through two football tailgating seasons, over a hundred business lunches and dinners, numerous trips to Germany where beer flows like water, parties, picnics, Super Bowls, a Caribbean cruise, several family vacations, ups and down in life, etc. All things that I thought “required” alcohol.

Fortunately, I did not have some event that caused me to hit “rock bottom”. (I could have had many rock bottoms but I was lucky). Some people need to lose their job, lose their family, kill or seriously injure someone in a car accident, end up in prison, or many other horrible things that alcohol (or drugs) can cause in order to gather the will to quit. Some people think that “bottom” is the only thing that can make a drinker quit for good. I have met many people who proved to me that this is false, you can make such a decision without going through the horrors. But in some ways it is tougher to take the first step.

In every other way, it is much easier to skip the “rock bottom” step and I hope that this letter helps at least one other person to avoid the lost job, lost marriage or prison route to sobriety.

Last October, I made a firm decision to quit and I followed through on that commitment. But I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t admit that I had similarly tried to control my drinking or quit at least 100 times before.

Why was I able to quit this time as compared with the previous 100 attempts? This is a very good question. The only answer I have come up with as to is that this time I was really ready to quit for myself alone. I was truly 100% sick and tired of the way alcohol affected me and I wanted a different life. All the other times I was, in some way, not really ready to control my drinking. The bottle was still in charge. I tried many tactics: I’d only drink on weekends, only drink after 5pm, only drink at parties (almost anything can become a party in such a plan), only drink beer, only drink wine, only drink hard liquor, only drink things I didn’t like the taste of (I know it sounds nuts but I was nuts), only drink every other week, quit for a day, quit for a weekend, quit for a week, quit for “this vacation or event”. I tried every way to quit in the world to stop drinking except the way that eventually worked for me.

If you are reading this and you know someone that has a drinking problem and you want to help them, you must understand that you are at a severe disadvantage. This is a condition of the mind more than a condition of the body and it is nearly impossible to bring another person to a mental place where they can admit that alcohol is causing more pain in their life than the pleasure it brings. Because a drinker can hardly imagine life without alcohol. It is with us at many points of our thinking and decision making process. We make plans around alcohol and drinking, not all of the time but enough.

If this does not sound like you at this point but you still think you might have a problem, I am not going to tell you that you are OK with your drinking, I will only say that you don’t have the same problem that I was facing so my experience may be of little value to you. I do know people who can go for long periods with nothing at all, then they “binge” and drink to pass out. This is obviously a problem, but not the problem that I have experience with. For 25 years I drank to excess. I often did not get "drunk" but I was always under the influence. For many of those years I drank daily, sometimes starting at 6am and going till 2am the next night. I am not proud of this but it is the truth.

As a problem drinker, you probably associate most of the “fun” you have in life with alcohol in some portion and are worried that without alcohol you will become a dull, bored person with no joy in life. You probably think that there are some things where you will always have to drink to enjoy. I know I worried about that, and I can assure you it is false. You will enjoy life more when you quit, at least that has been my experience. Even that Caribbean cruise and college football tailgating.

I first started drinking in High School. I don’t feel that it is necessary to recount the whole story but I drank to blackout on a number of incidences. Other times I just got really drunk and did stupid things that put my life at risk. I drove many times when I had no business on the road, and it would not have taken much to have had a series of events happen that would have changed my life for the worse. In college, I made good grades at a top Engineering school, while drinking heavily. It was a joke that I would study with a bottle of Jim Beam next to my desk.

As I got into the business world, and specifically into sales, drinking is a daily part of business life. At least that’s what a drinker thinks. And for people who do not have a problem controlling it, drinking is a wonderful part of life. The occasional party or business dinner and a few social drinks to move the business forward are great. But I was never able to do that—for me it was five, ten, fifteen drinks. Into the late hours, with not enough sleep, feeling like crap the next morning when I should have been at my best. Then repeating the same behavior each night. And I was very successful, and I thought drinking was part of the success.

I rationalized that with my talent, the drinking was part of who I am, and that even at 50% I was still more capable than most others so it wasn’t necessary to control myself.

I know this is getting long so I’ll get to the point: One Friday last October I was driving down the road. I hadn’t had a drink in two days and was in one of my “quit drinking the rest of the week” attempts. Rush Limbaugh announced that he was going to a Rehab Center for his drug addiction to resolve his problem. This for some reason got through to me. I called two people that I am close with and told them that I was not going to drink one drop of alcohol until Rush came out of treatment. (Telling these people I had made this decision helped me).

I told myself that after thirty days, I would decide whether I would drink again in a more controlled manner or stop completely. I did not have the luxury of taking the time off from work to enter treatment, but since Rush was going in, he was in there for both of us.

I did not attend AA (although I will talk about AA later) but I was clearly at the first step of their program. It is a very simple concept:

I admitted that I had a drinking problem and that I wanted to do something about it. I can tell you that if you are really at that point then you can fix yourself. If you are not at that step, then there is nothing that anyone can do to help you and I hope that you stay alive, and intact until you reach that point.

After about a week of sobriety, I stopped thinking about alcohol very much. I threw myself into work and tried to start losing weight as well. By the second week I made the decision: “I WILL NEVER DRINK AGAIN” and I wrote that in my journal. I recognized that a bottle of booze is an inanimate object that is simply poison to me and that it cannot force itself into my body. I have the control over whether I use my arms to bring the poison to my lips. And I choose not to allow that to happen ever again.

I have noticed that there is an inner “voice” that I have (he stays fairly silent now) that in the beginning used to put thoughts in my mind like: “surely you can just have one, you’ve been good”, “it’s a beautiful Fall Day, surely you could just do the social drink”, “you’re in the Caribbean for Gods’ sakes, shouldn’t you at least have one Margarita to celebrate your sobriety”. When my mind lets the inner voice talk, I quickly reassert control and think about the serenity that I have found since I quit drinking.

I need to stop writing now, the family is waking up, but I will write another letter tomorrow morning which describes these 14 months and what other tactics I have used in my sobriety.

I hope that this helps at least one other soul out there. Feel free to post questions or suggestions.

Rob;

Here is a little A.A. history lesson that has helped many recover that are fortunate to find it.

I am not the author of the below text nor am I selling anything...lets just say I have a family history of folks that need help and have done some research into alcoholism.

Bill W. suffered from depression AFTER he got sober until he met up with Dr's Hoffer and Osmond and started taking Niacin (B-3). Niacin became Bill's total focus after he started taking it. When asked by a reporter late in life what he wanted to be remembered for he said, "My work with niacin" NOT the founding of AA! That is how strongly he felt about Niacin.

The key is the amino acid Tryptophan which is converted in the body to Niacin, Serotonin and a host of other things.

This is still very controversial in A.A. and has got me kicked out of many "Open" meetings.

To anyone reading this PLEASE, do not run out and take a large dose of Niacin, you will not like the results. Niacin must be taken in a certain way. Consult your Physician.

P.S. When reading this remember the term "Schizophrenia" was used for mental disease of just about any kind...depression most notedly.

Below is a portion of the text,

Best,
Oxcart

Bill W.'s Communications to all A. A. physicians on the importance of nutrients to decrease symptoms in recovery and preventing, craving and relapse.

The entire text of Bill W.'s three communications to A. A. physicians runs over 100 single spaced pages and will not be included in their entirety in this text. Only Bill's summary statements are included. The complete text is available and can be obtained from the author.

As Mrs. Wilson wrote in the letter provided from her and presented here, instructing A. A. physicians concerning nutrition was Bill's main priority in the latter part of his life. When the author contacted A. A. about this matter, it was explained to him by a spokesperson from A. A. World Services that Bill's B-3 papers "are classified" and will not be provided by A. A. They also indicated that no attachment was wanted by the A. A. organization to these papers. A more detailed account of this part of Bill W.'s activities can be found in: 'PASS IT ON', The story of Bill Wilson and how the A. A. message reached the world. 1994 Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc., New York, N.Y.

Over thirty years ago Bill W. strongly promoted B3 (Niacin) as a bio-nutritional treatment. No one knew at that time why Niacin was effective in decreasing alcohol craving and depression. Bill Wilson appears to me from his writings and from interviews with people still alive who worked with him to have been a genius. Bill W. strongly advocated the following actions that he thought A.A. should take:

1) To fund and advocate research on Niacin bio-nutrient as a high priority for A.A. and for the medical community outside A.A.

2) To advocate for all its members Niacin bio-nutrient therapy along with an improved nutritional program of whole foods and the reduced intake of excessive sugars, refined carbohydrates and caffeine.

3) That all physicians in A.A. and all physicians treating Alcoholism should learn and advise to their patients about bio-nutrient therapy B3 and improved nutrition.

Bill W.’s wife Lois wrote after Bill W.’s life that Bill’s top priority in the last years of his life trying to get A.A. to incorporate the above measures. In this he failed because A.A. rejected these recommendations then and continues to reject them.

This rejection continues to cause great damage to A.A. members. We now know that Niacin is a factor for the conversion of the amino acids tryptophane and tyrosine to serotonin and the catecholamines. Niacin also decreases the mortality from DT’s and nicotinic acid oxidizes alcohol to reduce acetaldehyde levels which reduces oxidative stress and the formation of the morphine like tetrahydroisoquinoline (THIQ). We also know now that not only Niacin but all of the essential nutrients, whole food diets and the reduction of the intake of sugar and refined carbohydrates are necessary to achieve the optimum long term recovery rates. See The Biggest High – The Natural High section which we now know must be added as an integral part of all therapeutic treatment. If Bill W.’s recommendations had been adopted thousands of lives and huge amounts of individual and societal suffering could have been averted. It is my hope that this work will contribute to the fulfillment of Bill W.’s insight and vision.

A copy of correspondence from Bill's late wife.

MRS. WILLIAM G. WILSON

Stepping Stones

Bedford Hills, N.Y. 10507

Dear Dave, Ed and Russ:

When the matter of the AA Trustee's ratio was finally settled, Bill felt that he had finished his job and done all he could to help AA to build a lasting structure. Then, as rarely happens in life, he was given a second opportunity to aid the sick alcoholic.

Aldous Huxley, a great admirer of AA, introduced Bill to two psychiatrists who were researching the biochemistry of alcoholism as well as schizophrenia. Bill was convinced of the truth of their findings and realized he could again help his beloved alcoholics by telling them about this probable aid for the physical component of alcoholism. He recognized that this work must be kept separate and distinct from AA and wrote a letter to the AA Board so stating.

As you know, Bill's last years were mainly devoted to the spread of this information among alcoholics and other ill persons. With your help, he wrote and distributed to AA doctors a brochure which has twice been enlarged and brought up to date. Before he passed on, he dictated a letter stating his hopes that you three doctors who were interested in AA and had worked closely with him in the niacin field, would extend your endeavors along the latter lines.

I sincerely believe that you only want what is best for the sick alcoholic who, as yet, has not been able to join AA, and that you will continue to place the principles of AA first and researching second.

Bill's great hope was that continued research would find a means whereby those thousands of alcoholics who want to stop drinking but are too ill to grasp the AA program could be released from their bondage and enabled to join AA.

All good wishes.

Affectionately,

(Mrs. William G. Wilson)

I.

THE VITAMIN B-3 THERAPY:

A FIRST COMMUNICATION TO A. A.'S PHYSICIANS*

FROM BILL W.

December 1965

CONTENTS

A Promising Treatment for Schizophrenia -- and its high relevance to the field of alcoholism.

P.S. Please note that the enclosed material is not for public quotation or use.

-- B. W.

CONFIDENTIAL: NOT FOR GENERAL PUBLICATION

Address: Bill W.

P.O. Box 451

Bedford Hills, N. Y. 10507

U.S.A.

*(This is a very long document developed by Bill W. and his medical advisors. Copies are available from the author for those with particular interest. Bill W. did not have the complete nutritional treatment protocol that is available to us at the present time. They thought that Niacin ( Vitamin B-3), and the avoidance of excessive sugar and caffeine was a magic bullet for alcoholism. Bill W. was in my opinion, a genius who had great insight and steered us on the right direction. Now we know that complete nutritional restoration and maintenance is required to achieve the dramatic treatment results presented in this section).

INTRODUCTION

Dear Physicians of A. A.:

With ever mounting interest, I have long been watching a research into schizophrenia, the world's largest mental illness. This project has been spearheaded by two of my close medical friends and has been in progress for over ten years. The results are now so impressive that I can do no less than acquaint you with them.

In this presentation, special emphasis will be placed upon the recently emerged fact that schizophrenia, or a schizo tendency, is often the principal cause of many of the emotional troubles that beset us alcoholics, both before and after sobriety.

This state of affairs, to which something like one-third of all alcoholics now appear to be more or less subject, goes far to explain many of A. A.'s failures; also many of our "clippees" and so-called "unhappy sobriety" people. These classes or cases are seldom acute situations. For the most part they are individuals having "schizophrenic tendencies" -- a condition that heretofore went largely undiagnosed.

As the forthcoming story unfolds, it will be seen that there now exists a simple remedy for the greater part of these conditions, a remedy easily administered by any doctor and capable of promptly clearing up much of this variety of emotional misery. Hence the particular relevance of this new information to most A. A. physicians.

To place this recent unfoldment in clear proportion, it will first be desirable to supply you with the background picture of the ten-year research from which it evolved -- a research that first started with extremely serious cases, but which now reveals a very large incidence of the milder, yet often troublesome situations.

* * * * * * * *

Hard evidence has long since been under accumulation that schizophrenia and schizophrenic tendencies are primarily organic in origin. A toxin (or toxins) generated by malfunction of the adrenalin-adrenochrome metabolism, appears to be the primary cause. In varying degrees these toxins affect brain functioning, specially in the areas of perception, this producing the characteristic neurotic or psychotic manifestations of the illness.

Fortunately a powerful counteractive to schizophrenia and to schizo tendencies has been discovered in massive vitamin B-3 -- niacin and/or nicotinamide. When given in doses of three grams, and sometimes more daily, the effect of B-3 is very considerable on longstanding mental hospital patients. And upon cases of lesser severity, the effect is very frequently brilliant and definitely curative. The idea of treating with niacin was originally derived from its successful use in the pellagra psychosis.

More recently devised urine and psychological tests are now disclosing the presence of the schizophrenia toxin in a vast number of cases hitherto undiagnosed, thus raising the probable incidence of the malady to several times the one percent usually estimated for the total world population.

Since massive vitamin B-3 appears to be immensely effective upon milder and previously undiagnosed cases of schizophrenia or tendencies thereto, the B-3 therapy should rapidly become the concern of nearly all physicians -- especially the general practitioner.

To us or A. A., this new and wider view appears to have a very special significance. For example, it is now statistically established that approximately one-third of all hospital admissions for alcoholism are more or less bedeviled by schizophrenia and specially by schizophrenic tendencies. What have often been regarded as ordinary varieties of neuroses are now seen as cases whose emotional difficulties are greatly aggravated by the longtime presence of the schizo toxin -- even though the quantity be minute.

Since the vitamin B-3 therapy evidently has no contraindications of any kind, and because of its many favorable effects on the general health of persons in middle or late life, the material can be freely given to everyone suffering compulsive or unexplained emotional difficulties. Among this very large class, those who have schizoid tendencies will usually respond remarkably well. Many chronic sufferers are often relieved in a matter of months, simply by giving them three grams daily of niacin or nicotinamide.

This I have directly witnessed over the past year or so in a group of thirty of my friends, mostly A.A.’s. Practically all of these have benefited in respect of general health. Significantly, however, ten of this group have been promptly and radically relieved of severe and longstanding emotional difficulties, seemingly due to schizo tendencies or possibly other pathological adrenalin conditions which B-3 can also normalize.

However, the bulk of this presentation is a pure reporting job, in which I shall merely paraphrase or directly quote my two medical friends, respecting their concepts, activities, and results attained to date. Because of the small compass of this brochure extensive scientific documentation cannot well be included.

We may be witnessing a remarkable breakthrough in the field of mental health; and also one of great relevance to all who are suffering alcoholism or its sometimes "unhappy" aftermath. Therefore, it is to be hoped that in coming pages you who are A. A. physicians will find something for your high interest and direct participation.

* * * * * * * * *

Bill W’s communication goes forward to a great length of 28 single typed pages, which site both scientific literature and give the opinions of scientists as well as case histories. It is remarkable to the author that this businessman was able to understand and communicate vast amounts of scientific data. Bill W. was remarkable in both his intelligence and his dedication to utilizing nutrition as a central aid to the prevention and treatment of alcoholism. Of course, today we know a great deal more than Bill knew in the 1950 and 1960 era.

II.

THE VITAMIN B-3 THERAPY:

A SECOND COMMUNICATION TO A. A.'S PHYSICIANS

FROM BILL W.

February 1968

CONTENTS

1. An account of the expansion in the use of Vitamin B3 (niacin or niacinamide) during 1966-1967.

2. A summary of treatment results reported in the following categories: (a) Alcoholics suffering depressions, anxiety, tension, exhaustion, etc., (b) Schizophrenia and schizo tendencies; (c) Coronaries: recurrencies prevented; (d) Arthritis; (e) Other relevant information.

CONFIDENTIAL: NOT FOR GENERAL PUBLICATION

Address: Bill W.

P.O. Box 451

Bedford Hills, N. Y. 10507

U.S.A.

THE VITAMIN B-3 THERAPY: Second Communication and Progress Report (As of January 1968)

Dear Physicians in A. A.:

Two years ago, I mailed you a brochure concerning the Vitamin B-3 therapy "A Promising Treatment for Schizophrenia and Its High Relevance to the Treatment of Alcoholism." The basic pioneer mg work of my research friends, physicians Drs. Abram Hoffer* and Humphrey Osmond* in the field of serious schizophrenia was outlined, and emphasis was laid on the probability that B-3 would be highly effective with many alcoholics suffering the less serious and formerly undiagnosed forms of this malady - the large incidence of which had been revealed among their hospitalized alcoholics.

You will be interested to learn that in the interval since my first letter there has been a great expansion in the use of B-3, which now includes several thousand individuals, several hundred physicians and over 100 institutions.

During the first half of 1966, B-3 purchases at two pharmaceutical wholesalers appeared to be coming largely from individuals. Then many of these individuals began to tell their own physicians about B-3. For example, one Eastern wholesaler reported that in January, 1966, he had received only 31 orders of B-3, (500 tablets, 500 mg. each). Only three of his purchasers that month were doctors. Six months later - June 1966 - this same wholesale outlet reported orders of 652 containers of niacin and nicotinamide. About 25% of this amount had been ordered by physicians.

In the calendar year 1966, the Eastern wholesaler alone reported 5,100 orders for B-3. His sales in the first half of 1967 ran at the average rate of 650 orders monthly, and have probably exceeded 9,000 for the full year. A Western wholesaler has had just about the same experience. Hence the combined sales of these two outlets alone have approximated in 1967 18,000 containers (all of these the 500-tablet size - 500 mg. each).

Making allowance for additional outlets, it seems reasonable to suppose that total niacin sales for the year 1967 have amounted to 24,000 orders of 500 tablets, 500 mg. - as compared with almost none in 1965.

Beginning in the summer of 1966, a new growth factor entered the B-3 therapy field. By this I mean institutions, such as general hospitals with psychiatric departments, mental hospitals, rehabilitation centers for alcoholics, veterans facilities, A.A.-managed "drying-out" places and A. A. connected places for hospitalization.

During the first half of 1966, only two institutional users were reported: Guest House, a rehabilitation facility for alcoholic priests at Lake Orion, Michigan, and the North Nassau Mental Health Center at Manhasset, L. I., N.Y.

Dating from mid-summer 1966, more and more institutions put in an appearance as niacin and nicotinamide buyers. Two wholesalers report that, as of January 1968 their lists include over 100 such facilities. This rapidly accelerating interest has been most surprising, considering the institutional apathy and lack of knowledge which had been the rule for many years past.

* Dr. Abram Hoffer 800 Spadena Crescent E., Saskatoon, Sask., Canada.

* Dr. Humphrey Osmond - N.J.I.N.P. - Box 1000, Princeton, N.J.

The astonishing expansion in the use of B-3 that has taken place in only two years becomes even more striking when we consider that there has been no public advertising at all (since B-3 is non-propietary). Niacin costs the average massive user only about ten cents per day.

This phenomenon is scarcely the expression of a passing fad, nor is it due in any large measure to personal influence on my part. Since there are only 1500 of my original brochures in circulation, it seems probable that a large majority of the present users have never read it.

Further evidence that the vitamin is being bought on its actual merits is shown by the very large numbers of reorders reported by wholesalers. For example, a check back by one firm revealed that 70% of his purchasers in all categories were reordering regularly.

While the foregoing figures do not of course establish the scientific merits of the B-3 therapy, they do nevertheless strongly suggest that thousands of people are now receiving large and continuous benefits.

Certainly a considerable test of the Vitamin B-3 therapy is going on among American and Canadian physicians and institutions; the B-3 treatment has been lifted out of its long-time obscurity and is now being given a fair and sustained trial in its several treatment uses.

Treatment interest in the vitamin has already extended far beyond schizo tendencies in alcoholics. Therefore this presentation will also try to acquaint you with the newer possibilities that have unfolded - both in emotional and physical areas of illness. In consequence it is hoped the material shown herein will be found by many of you to be of much wider use and interest than was the content of my earlier "Communication."

This report is private and not intended for public distribution. Nor is this project a function of A. A., as such, or of it's World Service Headquarters.

Please, therefore, address any correspondence concerning B-3 to Bill W., P.O. Box 451, Bedford Hills N.Y. 10507 - where I maintain an information service for this work.

Because of A. A.'s tradition. of no controversy, non-endorsement and anonymity at the public level, I shall be most grateful for the cooperation of all readers in avoiding any public mention of my part in the B-3 undertaking.

Devotedly yours,

Bill W.

P.S. In addition to the AA physicians who report in coming pages, there are many other AA doctors who have written of their successful results with B-3 therapy. This background information was been most helpful in preparing a second "Communication" and I wish to thank them for their effort and enthusiasm.

* * * * * * * * *

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