Posted on 12/05/2004 10:10:24 AM PST by SandRat
There are messages in here for us guys too.
ROTFLMAO!!! That's a keeper!
I really like HEBREWS
Ex-wife: I faked every orgasm!
Ex-husband: I didn't care!
Yeah, but I could still get out of that one...
I work in a brewery.
LOL!
LOL
Thanks
Congressman Billybob
Click for latest, "Appointing Justices to the Supreme Court."
From "NIGERIAN CUSTOMES AND EXERCISE DEPARTMENT"
(they are still looking for fools?)
STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL & PERSONAL.
DEAR SIR,
I AM HIGHLY DELIGHTED TO BE IN CONTACT WITH YOU, FOLLOWING THE RECOMMENDATION MADE BY A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE.
I AM DR NWANNE NKEM THE CHIEF CONTROLLER OF THE NIGERIAN CUSTOMES AND EXERCISE DEPARTMENT. FOR THE PAST TEN (10) YEARS, THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA SIEZED LOTS OF CONTRA BANNED GOODS/EQUIPEMENTS BROUGHT INTO THIS COUNTRY BY FOREIGN IMPORTERS AND MERCHANTS. THE GOODS INCLUDING THE SHIPS WERE SEIZED BY THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA UNDER THE PAST MILITARY REGIME.
RECENTLY, THE PRESENT MILITARY GOVERNMENT ORDERED MY DEPARTMENT TO AUCTION-SALE ALL THE SEIZED CONTRA BANNED GOODS AND INVITE THE ORIGINAL IMPORTERS TO CLAIM THEIR MONEY.
1. AMONG THE GOVERNMENT MANDATES WERE THAT THE IMPORTERS SHOULD BE IDENTIFIED TO PAY THEIR IMPORT DUTIES AND DEMURAGE ACCRUED AS A RESULT OF ABATING OF THE SHIPS ON THE NIGERIAN SEA PORTS.
2. THAT THEIR MONEY RECOVERED FROM THE AUCTION SALES BE CREDITED TO THEM ACCORDINGLY WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY.
THE GOVERNMENT HAS MADE SERIES OF PUBLICATIONS IN OUR LOCAL AND INTERNATIONAL NEWSPAPERS REQUESTING THE AFFECTED FOREIGN/LOCAL IMPORTERS TO COME FORWARD AND CLAIM THEIR MONEY.
SOME HAVE CAME AND CLAIMED THEIR MONIES WHILE OTHERS MOSTLY
FOREIGNERS COULD NOT BE IDENTIFIED. WHEN WE CONTACTED THEM THROUGH THEIR ADDRESSES, WE WERE INFORMED THAT THE COMPANY WAS NO LONGER IN EXISTANCE. IN SOME CASES, WE NOTIFIED THAT THE CONCERNED IS DEAD.
NOW, MYSELF AND MY THREE (3) OTHER OFFICERS HAVE DECIDED TO NEGOCIATE WITH A FOREIGN PARTNER WHO CAN ASSIST US IN PROVIDING A FOREIGN BANK ACCOUNT WHERE SOME PART OF THIS FUND ?36M (THIRTY SIX MILLION UK POUND STERLING) WILL BE TRANSFERED TO FOR OUR OWN USE. THE FUND WILL BE CREDITED TO YOU AS ONE OF THE IMPORTERS. IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE TRANSFER OF THE FUND TO YOUR ACCOUNT, WE SHALL RETRIEVE AND DESTROY
ALL THE DOCUMENTS REGARDING FOR THE PAYMENT. SO THAT NO ONE COULD KNOW ABOUT IT.
INFACT, THERE IS NO RISK INVOLVED IN THIS TRANSACTION, WHEN THE THIS TRANSACTION IS COMPLETED WE SHALL GIVE YOU ?8M (EIGHT MILLION POUNDS), ?IM (ONE MILLION POUNDS) WILL BE SET ASIDE TO SETTLE EXPENSES MADE DURING THE TRANSACTION (TAXES), WHILE ?27M (TWENTY SEVEN MILLION POUNDS) WILL BE FOR US. PLEASE SEND THE UNDER LISTED INFORMATIONS TO ME FOR IMMEDIATE REMITTANCE OF THE FUND.
(A). NANE AND ADDRESS OF YOUR BANK.
(B). BANK ACCOUNT HOLDERS NAME.
(C). BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER.
YOUR CONFIDENTIAL TEL/FAX NUMBERS WILL BE REQUIRED FOR THIS
TRANSACTION.
TAKE NOTE THAT THIS BUSINESS IS STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL. IF YOU MAY NOT HANDLE THIS TRANSACTION, KINDLY NEGOTIATE ON OUR BEHALF FOR A RELIABLE FRIEND OR RELATION OF YOUR'S WHO CAN HANDLE THIS FOR US.
FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME THROUGH MY MAIL BOX FOR MORE INFORMATIONS.
I AM EXPECTING TO READ YOUR MAIL SOONEST.
REGARDS,
DR. NWANNE NKEM
Then he's bisexual.
The red X is always funny.
ROFL!
A real man would have several remotes around, and he would know how to program the VCR remote to work on the TV. If this guy was put out by this stunt, then he's a big wuss and deserves it.
Why would you need to bring a man when going shopping? He will only complain about spending too much time in a store. The only thing that a woman needs to bring to a store is his credit card.
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