Posted on 12/04/2004 1:50:28 PM PST by chasio649
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
5. Do not buy food at the movie store.
6. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent.
7. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
8. People walk slower here.
9. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
10. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.
11. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
12. Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.
13. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.
14. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
15. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.
16. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.
17. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.
18. Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer.
19. Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.
20. In southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor". You will also here expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy", "Good Laud", and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy".
21. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.
22. If you hear music from your neighbors house, join in on the chorus.
23. If you are a woman with a flat tire, don't worry - someone will be along shortly to change it for you. This is the South and we don't let our womenfolk change flat tires.
24. Yes, we do have garbage pickup twice a week here.
25. While you didn't realize it, the National Anthem does end with "Gentlemen Start Your Engines!"
26. However you did it in the North is of no concern to those of us in the South.
27. Flannel shirts can be considered formal wear in the wintertime.
28. Those nice white buildings on the street corners, across from the convenience stores, are called churches! Pick one and attend.
29. Learn to play softball.
30. Learn to eat watermelon. Seed spitting is optional but distance is a virtue.
31. You have 10 days to get your Alabama tape, Bear Bryant Cup and learn all of verses to "I'll Fly Away" after establishing residency. Get your drivers license when you get time to do it.
32. Learn to visit the Space and Rocket Center at least one time each year.
33. Appreciate leaving the house 30 minutes before concert time and being seated 10 minutes before concert time.
Still do this in Oklahoma City. I was on vacation this summer in Charleston, SC., where I grew up, still done there too!
BTW: Florida is NOT culturally a southern state, outside of the area from Ocala on north. Only a minority of the population is culturally southern.
I like the amenities of city life. Boston has great cultural resources, great restaurants, lots of bookstores, interesting neighborhoods. My job can only be done in a few cities in the country, and this is one of them.
I like the change of seasons. The summer is gorgeous, fall is beautiful, and I've learned to enjoy the winters from the warm side of the living room window.
I didn't grow up here, but I am a northerner through and through. I grew up in the deep New Jersey exurbs and I love having moved to a place where there's a city 1 mile to the south, beaches 5 miles to the east, forests 15 miles to the west, and mountains not far beyond. You can drive a short distance and be in a totally different zone where the stars shine brightly. The metro area isn't growing much so there isn't as much suburbanization.
I love going apple-picking in October. The "square" down the hill has Indian, Peruvian, Korean, bad Chinese, Peruvian, and Mexican restaurants along a Brazilian bakery, a coffee shop, and three Irish pubs, yet I have a big enough backyard to host barbecues and grow a vegetable garden.
My house is 100 years old and has details I never dreamed were possible when growing up in a 1970 suburban special.
Local politics is remarkably diverse for what it is; everyone's a Democrat, but there are plenty of conservatives. It's interesting and takes some getting used to. It's easy to tune out our federal officials when it's a hopeless cause. Taxes are actually pretty low for our level of income; that's the biggest myth about Massachusetts.
So that's why I stay.
I own several old cast iron skillets, they are my pride and joy. For frying fish, they can't be beat...my lady made corn bread stuffing in one of those things for Thanksgiving, with sausage, OMG was it good!
--FORGET the birds, Ya' SHOULD be makin' Cornbread with that!--
Don't forget to add a nice dollop of that bacon grease to a pot of green beans. And don't forget, it's impossible to cook green beans too long. Eat'em with the cornbread. I got a southern cornbread recipe that's been passed down from mother to daughter mebbee 120 years if not longer....
I grew up in very rural central VA, foothills of the Blue Ridge, which is also apple country, and has a change of season, including maples with their red leaves.
Now live in Miami (NY south), but miss the fall up north, and all the cider, chill in the air, etc. that comes with it.
You have a Victorian house? Cool!
>In the rural parts of the South, people would never think of taking anything that doesn't belong to them. <
I'm 30 minutes outside of Austin, and I do all of the things you have listed and more, never a problem. I've actually gone to sleep while my truck was in the driveway, keys in the ignition, windows down and and found it untouched in the morning. I love it here, stars at night, the only sounds after the sun goes down are trains and the occasional siren.
Is it one of them "classified top secret if I tell you and you're not family I gotta kill you type recipes" or will You share it with Us?
P.S.- PORK FAT RULES!!!!
I once saw graffiti in Bear Paw, NC (near Murphy)
"Go back to Florida and take a Yankee with you!" :D
I've never been to that part of Virginia, but I have been to the other side of the mountains (Tennessee) and would like to see West Virginia some day. I imagine it to be one of the most beautiful parts of the country, and fortunate to have been spared the invasion from Yankee territory or anywhere else so far.
My house could technically be considered a Victorian, but really it was built for the lower levels of the housing market at the time. It's a two-family exactly like the house next door, not much individual detail on the outside beyond the standard front porch. What I like is how much thought and visual interest was given to the interiors back then as a matter of course. You take the bad with the good (the wiring was terrible when I moved in and I'm not keeping the horsehair plaster walls) but I like it.
There are some truly fantastic Victorian single-family homes around the corner with exquisite details. They would have gone for a song twenty years ago when no one wanted to live in this town. Now they're worth $800,000 and up.
"19. Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there."
This is true.
The northern part of FL is considered to be South GA.
The panhandle is considered to be South AL.
The rest is FL.
It's the maps that are messed up.
"31...and learn all of verses to "I'll Fly Away"
That is a WONDERFUL old hymn, and one of my favorites.
It's absolutely mandatory to know every verse.
Thanks for the ping! ;o)
Heading out to supper, now.
Naw, it's just a real basic corn pone.
To two cups of corn meal, mix 1 ts. salt and 2 ts baking soda.
In another bowl, beat two eggs. Add 2 cups of buttermilk or soured milk(that's the old add a teaspoon of vinegar to the milt trick) to the eggs.
Pour into the meal. Stir it up. I often add some chopped onion to this. I never add sugar - wasn't traditional in my family.
Your oven should be hot, 375 or 400.
I don't often add extra fat, but if you want, put some baconfat into a cast iron skillet, let it get hot in the oven, then pour your batter into the pan, and bake. I check it after about 20 minutes, but cook it till she's done.
My secret family dressing recipe:
Take a pan of that cornbread made with onions. Cool and crumble. cook up a batch of biscuit. Cool and crumble. You should have a mix of about 1/2 biscuit, one half cornbread.
You want to cook the turkey giblets, and when done, chop up the liver, at least, and add it to the crumbs. Add about a cup of chopped pecans (now this is my addition - wasn't traditional but I like it a lot), moisten it with chicken or turkey broth and a beaten egg and then about a tablespoon of sage or to taste. When it's wet enough, it's more than just moistened, but not real soupy either.
Bake it until firm.
Both of these have been passed down over a hundred years, but being that they are mother to daughter things, I don't know how far back beyond that they go.
boomarking for my visit to North Carolina next year
Old houses are a treasure, most of the time. Lots of beautiful timber in them usually, and workmanship.
I have found Americans friendly wherever I've been, including in Manhattan, to my surprise. I think folk just need to expect others not to be the same, then they'll find the common ground.
#3?
Oh yes, chivalry prevails in the South.
Southern gents... nothing finer.
#26 is a certainty.
Not one doubt about it!
35 - "#19 is not true of North Florida. In fact Northwest Fla is probably about as Southern as you can get."
I'm now a Texan, but I grew up in Florida, and left because of the Yankee Invasion.
But, anyway, in Florida, there is a saying:
"In Florida, the farther North you go, the farther South you get."
ping for later
Yep, twice a week: Tuesday and Friday.
Heavenly. Plus they pick up extra bags,
and all cuttings from the yard, so long
they're tied.
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