Posted on 12/04/2004 1:50:28 PM PST by chasio649
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
5. Do not buy food at the movie store.
6. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent.
7. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
8. People walk slower here.
9. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
10. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.
11. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
12. Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.
13. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.
14. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
15. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.
16. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.
17. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.
18. Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer.
19. Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.
20. In southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor". You will also here expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy", "Good Laud", and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy".
21. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.
22. If you hear music from your neighbors house, join in on the chorus.
23. If you are a woman with a flat tire, don't worry - someone will be along shortly to change it for you. This is the South and we don't let our womenfolk change flat tires.
24. Yes, we do have garbage pickup twice a week here.
25. While you didn't realize it, the National Anthem does end with "Gentlemen Start Your Engines!"
26. However you did it in the North is of no concern to those of us in the South.
27. Flannel shirts can be considered formal wear in the wintertime.
28. Those nice white buildings on the street corners, across from the convenience stores, are called churches! Pick one and attend.
29. Learn to play softball.
30. Learn to eat watermelon. Seed spitting is optional but distance is a virtue.
31. You have 10 days to get your Alabama tape, Bear Bryant Cup and learn all of verses to "I'll Fly Away" after establishing residency. Get your drivers license when you get time to do it.
32. Learn to visit the Space and Rocket Center at least one time each year.
33. Appreciate leaving the house 30 minutes before concert time and being seated 10 minutes before concert time.
Ain't that the truth. I visited my cousin in the Nashville area - and we drove to a local fish fry restaurant during a sudden downpour. I ran from the car - and he didn't. I burst into the restaurant to the surprise of all inside - and he sauntered up behind me - sopping wet and mortified.
"You don't run here."
"Yeah, but it was pouring down ra-"
"You DON'T run here."
LOL
I remember '93.
Had just moved in to a new apt. complex in Loudoun County. I had the only 4x4 in our section. All the other rezzies helped dig me out and I spent the next 2 days hauling things from guess where? The Giant and Safeway!!!
A few of us also hauled doctors and nurses back and forth from the local hospital.
All in all, not a bad 4 days off.......
Muleteam1
133 - "Did all y'all save your bacon greese in a crisco can under the sink?"
Not exactly - Crisco can, yes, but either near the stove (for easy access or in the refrigerator - depending on the weather)
I love green beans with bacon grease and ham. Raw potatoe pancakes fried with bacon grease. Cornbread with bacon grease. Gravies with bacon grease. SOS with sausage and bacon grease. Holtz Moose (an old family recipe of pancake crumbles and wilted lettuce and vinegar and bacon). Raw potatoes fried with onions in bacon grease. Crab meat and asparagus and Vietnamese/Thai Fish sauce fried in bacon grease. Eggs fried in bacon grease.
these are some of my favorites. just too many things to which bacon grease imparts a wonderful flavor.
"I didn't know Texas A&M was in the South, I thought it was in New Jersey."
You're either:
1. a teasip trying to be cute.
2. a smart-mouth Yankee.
3. a geography class drop-out.
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That's cause if it moves, some cajun'll eat it...but they'll find a delicious way of fixing it while they are at it!
Huh?
Bingo. Kindness is not an attribute up there. I totally agree. It was impossible to have a straightforward and honest communication with anyone because they wouldn't even use the universal body language of friendliness. We lived there 7 years. Perhaps they should invest in some of that air conditioning you seem to despise and the old folks wouldn't drop dead like flies every summer when it hits 80.
Also. Just to clarify. I married a "damn Yankee" from WI. He is straighforward and honest and finds me to be the same.
No, I've met some Aggies.
Next time you drive near there, try to count the different animals that have been run over on the road.
Thank You, We will use this for Christmas Dinner.
Baby, would You please print this for Me.
Too funny! One more reason to live here.
Check this out, Baby
The Northern States don't give a sh*t about anything else but themselves. The South tried that once in 1861 and the damnYankees came down and said they weren't allowed to do so. I spent a lot of time in the south when I was on active duty and I can say that the Southerners normally show respect and a lot more hospitality than any Yankees I ever met. Perhaps that's why a lot of Southerners moved on west after the War, to be free of Yankee interference.
OK, printed..........I hope when it gets to be stuffing it's not mushy!!
Thanks
I'm gonna deep fry it with the bird.
About the size of a baseball- works great
I only disagree with the statement about FL. It is true for SOUTH FLORIDA, NORTH Florida is south. I am amused by the northerners who say they were distrubed by the politeness and manners of the north floridians.
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