Posted on 12/04/2004 8:59:05 AM PST by CHARLITE
1. Stay on Message!
Keep everything in your platform just as it is. Don't change anything. Keep discussing health care and jobs, because this is what America is concerned with and interested in, not that pesky old War on Terror.
2. Keep fanning the flames of hate!
Hate is your biggest asset. Keep it up, don't back off a bit. The more hateful and rhetorical you can be about President Bush and the Evil Republicans, the better! Have Michael Moore make "documentaries", have Bob Woodward write books, have Dan Rather do more investigative reports! Blame everything under the sun on Bush.
3. Keep duping the people. They love it!
Fein cooperative bipartisanship, but don't give an inch on anything. Filibuster, filibuster, filibuster! When you are caught in scandal, blame it on the Republicans. After all, they "set you up" anyway. It's all about "perception"! Keep telling everyone you support the troops, but not the war.
4. Denigrate, Humiliate, and Demoralize your Enemy More!
The Red States are all a bunch of toothless hick racists and bigots. Honestly, they are just ignorant stupid Christians. This should be the constant drumbeat from now until the next election! If it doesn't take, don't give up. Try it until 2008! The Angry White Males have given way to the Ignorant Redneck Bible-thumpers! Pound that message home daily!
5. Go Stronger Left!
Think of what could be done if every one of the Liberal Hollywood Elite were to recruit at least one of their contemporaries, to join the fight for the cause? Barbra Streisand could bring in Clint Eastwood... Michael Moore could recruit Spielberg... Alec Baldwin and Bill Moyers could move to Canada together. It would be great! Have even more Whoopi Goldberg's and Dixie Chicks! Put them in America's face 24/7 on all the major media outlets, and don't stop there... make movies, TV shows, records... do concerts... and make them all about Liberalist Utopia! Let Hollywood teach the Midwest how America should be.
The further Left the Better!
6. Sacrifice the Gay People!
Don't mention Gay Marriage, or Gay Rights again. Instead, use the old "wink and nod" method of framing the questions and debates. We must all be concerned with everyone's "civil rights." Basically... throw homosexuals under the bus, 'cause they lost this election for you. Tepidly support Civil Unions and Abortion on Demand, and blame the bigoted views of the Right. They are the ones so ashamed of gays we can't even have the debate anymore.
7. Continue to be condescending and more intellectual!
Insist that your side is right on everything, regardless of what lies are being told by the Right. After all, the Red States were all Civil War states, and the Blue States actually pay for all the government programs. You already know you have all the brains. You are all professors and scholars, and for a thinking intellectual to support the likes of Bush.... well... it's just beyond your capacity to fathom.
8. Keep Dividing America!
Don't just stop with "Two Americas", make it 4 or 6 Americas! Divide people... Red State=ignorant hicks, Blue State=intellectual genius.... Black vs. White.... Poor vs. Rich.... Women vs. Men... Us vs Them, etc. Anything the Republicans propose, find a complete opposite position to take and take it! It doesn't matter if it's illogical, just be opposed for the sake of opposition. Divide and conquer!
9. Keep Attacking Morals and Religion!
Have your liberal judges keep up the activism in the courts, forcing anti-moral and anti-religious secularist philosophy down America's throats. Just disregard the laws and allow them to push the liberal agenda forward. Come up with a cool slogan for Atheistic and Agnostic people to unite under... It's time to rebuild the wall of separation! Shout it from the rooftops... God is Dead! We want to live in a Godless Society! We want to indoctrinate your children into our immoral and decadent way of life in the schools! Keep driving that message home to the Soccer Moms... I'm sure they will eventually get it!
10. Become More Shrill!
With Howard Dean as the head of the DNC, and Nancy Pelosi the Minority Leader, this should be easy enough! Get in people's faces more, tell them what idiots and bigots they are, and how stupid and moronic their ideals are. Refute things that don't support your agenda and ideology, refuse to accept anything other than partisan sources as facts, concoct all kinds of conspiracy theories, and accuse your adversaries of being Kool-Aid drinkers constantly! Get louder, get prouder, get even more outrageous and obnoxious than ever before! Be disrespectful of the president, the administration, and American policy in general! If it's good for America, it's bad for you!
James Wright, Copyright ©2004
Comment:jbw@jb-williams.com
Don't worry: they'll continue doing all of the above.
Don't forget to remind everyone to say "I support our troops, but not the war".
11. Inreoduce inflammatory and impossible legislation. Get support by more democrats, put it to a vote then vote against it and blame Bush.
It worked well with the draft.
11. Lie!
We can collapse that advice down to one point:
1. Be yourselves.
Subject: post election advice-- if you have not seen it, and if anyone knows the author of this funny list, post it here. Some Special Advice
To Michael Moore: Sit down and shut up... And do something about your hair. And the ball cap.
To Jimmy Carter: Big mistake to sit down and shut up next to Michael Moore at the convention. Spend more time with drywall and the glue gun.
To Tom Daschle: If you lean too far to the left, voters will tend to the right of the boat.
To Al Gore: Please, sir, before it's too late .. Seek an experienced mental health professional. You're beginning to make Christopher Lloyd in "Back To The Future" look downright Rotarian-like.
To Dan Rather: Enjoy your early retirement. The next memo you get will be real.
To the DNC: Your platform must not have lurched far enough to theleft. Keep it tilting southpaw. Read more Marx. P.S. Keep insulting the voters with your moral and intellectual condescension too. It goes well with that warp speed registering of folks in plaid wool blankets pushing shopping carts. Lovely constituency.
To Bill Clinton: Thanks for hitting the campaign trail for Kerry. Some of us needed a reminder of what we were trying to avoid.
To Hillary Clinton: PLEASE run in '08. The Heartland will be hungry for more hors d'oeuvres by then.
To the MTV Kidz: Vote or die - or not. Like, whatever, dude.
To John "Breck Girl" Edwards: Can you help Michael Moore and Whoopi Goldberg with a little basic grooming?
To Bruce Springsteen, James Taylor, Bono, etc.: We still like your music, but if you ever want to sell another record, just sing and don't go where you don't know. We don't pay to hear Colin Powell or Condi Rice do air guitar either.
To George Soros: Want to buy an election? Not in *MY* America, you mono-maniacal, socialistic buffoon.
To the Mainstream Media: Congratulations on getting Kerry at least thirty more electoral votes than he would have gotten without your overt support. Imagine how badly he would have lost if you were actually unbiased.
To the United Nations: Your worst nightmare will continue for another four years. Deal with it.
To Howard "I Have A Scream" Dean: Stick with something you understand; like proctology for instance.
To Richard Holbrooke: Learn to tell a joke. Learn to laugh at one. Gawd.
To John Zogby: monster.com will post your resume.
To Maureen Dowd, Paul Krugman, Robert Scheer, and your minor league imitators, Greg Plast and Mark Morford: You have no red states readers.
To Teddy Kennedy: Sigh, it's still the blonde in the pond that leads your highlight reel.
To Ron Reagan "Junior:" Do you have talent for anything?
Nexxxxxxxxxxxxxxt ...?
To the Exit Pollsters: As long as you keep skewing the results in an >attempt to influence the election, we'll keep lying to you. If you quit, so will we. Deal?
To Osama bin Laden: Bring it on, you sonofabitch!! What's that?
The only attack you can muster now is on videotape? Hmm... No surprise there, I guess.
To Teresa HEINZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Kerry: Teaching is a real job.
The Teachers Union, who supported your husband, can clarify any continuing confusion. Oh, and it's not a "real job" to sleep with a third generation ketchup heir and then cash the plane crash check.
To the European Union: See message for Michael Moore.
To Terry McAuliffe: See message for Dan Rather. And pay a little attention to what Zell Miller reminds us of: 20 Democratic senators from the south in 1960 and only six from the GOP. Today, 22 Republicans and four Dems.
To MoveOn.org: See message for George Soros
To James Carville: You're the only guy who seems to get it; and you're very smart. Good luck finding an audience that's neither medicated nor mendacious.
And finally, to John Kerry: Thank you for reporting for duty. You are hereby dismissed.
Unfortunately, the last time I checked the Dummies wanting Hillary to run in '08 was WAY WAY down the list of possibles. Most were attributing this to the Rednecks won't vote for a woman in time of war.
I also thought it was a nice touch to strip the dues from all those union memebrs, leftists or no, take a cut, and have highly regarded union thug leaders turn the balance over to the dems.
These are strong, persuasive foundations of the dem party that should be emphasized in future years.
ping
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