I'm lucky enough to work out of the house. So Day Care was never needed.
We lived in North Carolina for a few years. We were fine there on one salary and had a lot of breathing room.
We came back to NJ to tend to family. This state is has the potential of bankrupting us. Hence the defensiveness and hostility in my posts. (on this thread)
A more thoughtful plan of action would have moved the family to be tended out of NJ, rather than moving your family into that hell-hole.