Posted on 11/30/2004 11:20:24 AM PST by kidd
Parents who spank their children as a form of discipline are not necessarily engaging in child abuse, even when they use a belt and leave a bruise, the state Appellate Court has said.
In a ruling released Monday, the judges recognized a parent's right to use "reasonable physical force" to discipline a child. They said that, before citing someone for physical abuse, the Department of Children and Families must take into account the circumstances surrounding the use of corporal punishment.
The judges said the agency's position that any non-accidental injury caused by a parent to a child qualifies as abuse is too narrow and in conflict with state law that allows "reasonable" corporal punishment of a child.
(Excerpt) Read more at ctnow.com ...
Time outs worked with my kids.
Fear brings alot more respect than trying to be someones friend. ;-)
AMEN Bruddhah!!!!
As I told my daughter once. "I'm not here to be your friend!! I'm here to be your Father. My job is to show you how the world works and how to work within the world. Once you're twenty-five and you've graduated from college and seem to have your head on straight... THEN maybe we'll talk about being friends!! Until then... lemme see yer homework!"
-jpj
We had "time outs" at our house.My dad would take "time out" of his busy schedule to whip our ass.
Stolen from a comedian I saw one night.LMAO
I can't believe that Mr. Spanky hasn't made an appearance on this thread. An equivalent of the Ann Coulter rule should be invoked here.
You and I had very similar childhoods.
When I was fostering, I had a 5 year old girl who had been brutalized to the point she was a road map of scars. She also was a holy terror with jet rockets. With her, spanking was a no-go. OK, I was told that pop on her butt to let her know I meant business was alright.
But it was more of a lesson for me. I had to use every behavior mod in the book for discipline and often was pulling my hair out. And still, I scared myself a few times with how angry I got and how close I came to hitting her out of anger. And then I would remember my father and what a monster he was in my eyes.
Geez,
just geez--- The thought of anyone feeling that way towards me was the most sickening realization in my life.
That's what I think. If you set limits and show that their are consequences for bad behavior, a child will learn. That doesn't mean you never raise your voice. I was in the Army and sometimes I imitate my old Drill Sergeant when I need to talk to my son.
A good Army Drill Sergeant can maintain good discipline without punching any recruits.
Well aren't you the lucky and enlightened one. I suppose all children have the exact same disposition and temperament as yours so that your successful parenting techniques would work with every child.
I disagree.
The purpose of the spanking is to stop a particular behavior, not as an outlet for our anger. JMO.
Glad to hear it. That isn't discipline. I would say that is abuse. Only problem I see here is that you are confusing the two on this thread. Taking your abusive childhood where your parents labeled it as "spanking" and inferring it upon what actual spanking is seems to be the problem.
Where do you get off deciding what's acceptable and what's not. If that mother thought her kid need a slap or two or ten across the face, then who are you to say she was abusive?
I remember growing up, one of my mother's most used phrases was "If you don't stop that crying I'll give you something to cry about."
But seriously, it is normal and expected and healthy for a child to cry when spanked.
Not all kids are the same. Some respond to verbal discipline, some require physical discipline --- and it is the parent who must determine this, not the government.
I have a family member that I can just hear saying the exact same thing. And maybe by her standards, she's right. They are just like her.
The rest of us think they're ill-mannered and arrogant beasts.
I suspect your children are just like you.
It may be small, but it's not hard to tell when you hit it.
If spanking, or any sort of discipline, is to produce a good character in the child, it must start with a good character in the parent. You can't lead other people down a road you have not trod yourself.
Whacking a kid in anger is not discipline. Just makes the kid mad, and it makes the parent madder (and more out of control for next time.)
Proper corporal punishment, OTOH, eventually does itself out of a job.
I don't know about the others, but I think for us raised with this form of discipline, it IS spanking to us. That may be why we are having such a strong reaction. We haven't experienced anything different, so it is our frame of referrence or reality.
I didn't say it was an outlet, I asked what was wrong with spanking because they angered you?
I get angry at some level every single time my children disobey or break a rule. It ticks me off because I have taught them better than that. On the rare occasions that one actually gets lippy and talks back or makes faces at me or another adult I really get angry.
I can't logically separate anger from punishment, I don't see how it can be any different.
My parents used that line once. I responded, "So was slaverly, but that didn't make it right." They didn't see the humor and beat me black and blue.
Yes. I think we just said the same thing.
You'd be surprised.
I am a pro-spank advocate. My wife is a no-spank-at-any-cost advocate. Before we had children, we went around and around on this.
I think spankings have their place, like if my son decides one day that it'd be a good idea to throw rocks at cars or otherwise cause property damage or endanger his own life or the lives of others.
If he decides to be a pain during dinner time, off to timeout he goes. He learns quick, but not too quick. Today he decided to crack open a yogurt and not eat it. I don't tolerate waste. Timeout time. And that's all I have to say about that. APf
I would have given him the yogurt for dinner. And just the yogurt. Okay, I probably would have told him that is all he was going to get for dinner. Wink.
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