I say we go back to the days when women were just property! Yeah! That'll teach 'em! Upity women! They're lucky we don't just hang 'em like horse thieves!
Ok. Now that THAT'S out of my system. *Deep Breath*
I agree that no-fault is a problem when it comes to families with children, but I think it should still be OK when no children are involved, just the adults. Or those children pretending to be adults, LOL!
I've been through two divorces. The first; I left because my Ex refused to grow up, get a job, and I was tired of being his Mother! Grrrr! I left him with a home, a truck and some cash in the bank.
Second divorce was a total emotional disaster; the standard "Other woman, currently with child" kind of disaster. I was totally thrown away like a used tissue, BUT I had a good lawyer and he left with little more than he came with into the marriage. I think that was fair, considering the circumstances of his adultery and thus and such.
So, if it's just grown ups divorcing each other, fine. If kids are involved, then yes, it should be contested and it should be duked out in court, all the way, the full meal deal. Maybe then people would THINK before they acted? Oh, who am I kidding? Most cases usually hinge on who has more money and can afford the lawyer with the better wardrobe. Double-Grrrr!
Diana,
You're obviously a radfem... I feel sorry for you and pity you... Poor girl...
Up in the socialist state of Wisconsin too...
I'm quite thankful that I didn't have to "duke" it out in court specifically because we have children. Our children still don't know why we got divorced.. the reason is unspeakable and I'd be horrified if they found out. I will go to my grave with the secret to spare them the shame. A quiet "no fault" divorce was the best way to protect them.
The problem is that married couples are told "God hates divorce" but are given few real solutions. Men aren't held accountable by the church for their problems, and women are asked to endure abusive behavior (while their husbands are educating their sons on how to treat their own wives, and their daughters on what to look for in a husband) because they are Christians and married.
I myself was told by my own brother who was also a pastor to "Get counseling" for myself when my husband had the problem. I told him it was too late for counseling and he replied, "Then you're the one with the problem." If you knew what I was dealing with you'd drop your jaw!
The Christian community is quick to tell you to stay married, but they don't offer solutions to victims of violence, spouses of alcoholics, drug abusers, homosexuals, etc. It's humiliating enough to be in that situation.. and "duking it out in court" would offer nothing more then even more humiliation. Give us some solutions we can work with!
I was told repeatedly to allow God to do a miracle. I waited 15 years...
Hang in there. That was a good post.
Sometimes, the real problem lies in not making good choices as to whom to marry. We can't always read the future (example - you may not have had any idea your second husband would cheat on you), but we should be able to discern patterns of behavior prior to marriage. (Just guessing, but I suspect your first husband showed signs of looking for a mama prior to your wedding day.)