President Bush Adds States that Didn’t Vote for Him to the Axis of Evil (parody)

UnderneathPolitics.com ^ | 11-27-04 | Underneath Politics

[RtWngr]

CRAWFORD, TX – In an attempt to show that he will be even tougher on terrorism during his second term, President George W. Bush added the states that did not vote for him to the Axis of Evil, Underneath Politics learned. California and New York, both states that easily went for Democratic challenger John Kerry, are now considered “against us” in the war on terror. Due to the United States military being bogged down in Iraq, and invasion of California or New York is unlikely. However the administration could decide to invade Vermont because it’s very small and also went heavily in favor of Kerry.

[RtWngr]

A little light Saturday night humor. Perhaps not such a bad idea.

[the Deejay]

Now.....THIS is the type thing I like GW to say!

(Kick'em in the @ss.) LOL!

[ConservativeMan55]

Not a bad idea at all!!!

[Texaggie79]

CRAWFORD, TX – In an attempt to show that he will be even tougher on terrorism during his second term, President George W. Bush added the states that did not vote for him to the Axis of Evil, Underneath Politics learned.

California and New York, both states that easily went for Democratic challenger John Kerry, are now considered “against us” in the war on terror. Due to the United States military being bogged down in Iraq, and invasion of California or New York is unlikely. However the administration could decide to invade Vermont because it’s very small and also went heavily in favor of Kerry.

“As of now, we plan to stick it out in Iraq and Afghanistan ,” President Bush said. “We don’t have plans to attack any state in the Union , even ones that side with the evildoers in terms of security for America .”

An interesting twist is that the District of Columbia voted overwhelmingly for Kerry. With the White House being located in the District of Columbia , George W. Bush is a resident of the Axis of Evil.

“I never thought of that,” the President said. “But if we do invade a Kerry state, we will give my supporters enough time to relocate to a state that shares their anti-terrorist beliefs. Because I am a Bush supporter living in a Kerry state I will give myself plenty of time to get back to my ranch in Crawford , Texas before we bomb the stuffing out of our nations capital.”

Shortly after September 11 th, President Bush made it clear to the world that you were either “with us or against us” in the war on terror. Most pundits didn’t think he was talking about states within America , but the President never stated that anyone was immune from joining the likes of Iran and North Korea .

The only other time Americans were added to the Axis of Evil occured when Sean Penn and Tim Robbins really pissed off the President after they gave a speech on why the war in Iraq was unjust. Mr. Robbins has since been taken off the list after Mr. Bush saw The Shawshank Redemption on television one night, a movie starring Mr. Robbins that President Bush really likes.

“This is an outrage,” says Democratic pundit Susan Estrich. “We should be able to have honest and open disagreements and vote for whoever we want without fear of our state being bombed by an illegitimate President who can’t speak in complete sentences.”

Senior Bush Advisor Karl Rove sees things differently. “Any time you have that big a collection of individuals that obviously hate us for our freedom, it’s a big concern. We almost waited too long until Hitler became too powerful for us to stop, we mustn’t make the same mistake with New Hampshire .”

Mr. Bush has a message for states like Ohio and New Mexico that he barely won. Like most of his messages, it’s very simple: “You watch your @ss!

[Texas Eagle]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Change that to blue counties. While my home state of California went to Sen. Rice-in-the-ass, the county I live in voted 65% for President Bush.

I know it's just a parody, but still.

[perfect stranger]

That might be too much. Many blue states have alot of red in them.

I'd settle for just adding the red counties to the list.

[truth_seeker]

I see the sense, in bombing Lost Angeles County, along with the Bay area.

But Orange, San Diego and Ventura counties voted solid Bush. Plus many other counties.

I guess the planes and pilots will use the nationwide red-blue county guide.

Maybe narrow it down by zip code?

[rockrr]

Hold on there!
Washington State is totally evil , just a little bit evil.

Sort of quasi-evil, doncha know.....

[fire_eye]

He's welcome to invade Oregon, and me and my right-wing-extremist redneck cohorts will be only too happy to commit all the necessary ah, er... "Preparations" for the invasion.

Just say the word, George...

[GodBlessUSA]

From NY, and a very conservative Bush supporter, I don't find it to funny.

Breaking news?

[Theresawithanh]

"along with the Bay area."

Just as long as the three of us who voted for Bush get the news in advance so we can move! ;-p

This is funny!

[Nateman]

In the first election Clinton came in 3rd in Utah. The second time he came in second . Unlike this satire
Clinton did engage in a game of political payback by nationalizing a whole bunch of Utah land. This
also stopped the mining of a whole bunch of potential coal making a coal owning buddy of his even
richer.

[Petronski]

I didn't need the "(parody)" warning. ;O)

[Shellback Chuck]

Oh, Pleeeeze make Wisconsin first, all we gotta do is take out the PR of Madison and then do a flanking maneuver on Milwaukee. The rest is just clean up.

[TheRatHunter]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Change that to blue counties. While my home state of California went to Sen. Rice-in-the-ass, the county I live in voted 65% for President Bush.

Consider it a liberation!

[mewzilla]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Change that to blue counties....

LOL. I'll second that! Most of NYS is made up of RED counties :) The only truly blue state this time around was, not surprisingly, MA.