Posted on 11/27/2004 12:27:26 AM PST by kattracks
"Shlockbuster!" "Borefest!" "Trainwreck!"Oliver Stone's gay sand-and-sandal epic "Alexander" got a thorough critical roasting for its Thanksgiving opening — and Times Square moviegoers yesterday seemed equally allergic to the toga turkey.
Dubbed a work of artistic suicide by most critics, the $155-million flick appeared to be headed for the box-office abyss after a limp Wednesday/Thursday take of just over $8 million.
"It's garbage," a bewildered Benny Fosco, 28, said after seeing the film at Loews E-Walk yesterday. "I want my money back. This is a hype. Phony as heck."
The Warner Brothers release stirred controversy when it emerged that the film — starring Irish hunk Colin Farrell as Alexander the Great — openly portrays his passionate gay love affair with Hephaiston, played by Jared Leto.
[snip]
"It's downhill from here," he told the Post. "It's not a crowd-pleaser. Poor word-of-mouth coupled with critics who smell blood — it's like the Perfect Storm' of turkeydom."
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
Not "Battlefield Earth" bad, though (enjoyable as unintentional comedy). Just pitifully bad.
In other words, it makes Rocky Horror seem like fine art?
This is what happens when you take the story of a great military strategist and turn his life story into a fag-fest.
It's a film for a child
Sometime, when I don't think I've got enough misery in my life, I think I'll rent "Battlefield Earth" and "Ishtar"...just to see if my pain threshold is really as high as the doctors said.
Is it "Heaven's Gate" bad?
Didn't Stone also do "Nixon" and "The Doors"?
Never saw any of those films except for "The Doors." Even that pseudo-biography of Jim Morrison was painfully dull to watch.
Is it "Moulin Rouge" bad?
(I don't care what anyone says...that was the first time I ever rented a movie and stopped it in the first 45 minutes because I couldn't stand it.)
Bah. You think that's pain? Go rent R.O.T.O.R. or 'Manos' the Hands of Fate (non MST3K version).
Then you will know true pain.
The trailer alone made me ill. I bet it will do well in the Bay area though.
I've only read reviews. But I remember splitting a gut reading the Battlefield Earth reviews, whereas, the Alex reviews are more eulogic.
Manos!
My wife loves "Moulin Rouge." I have to leave the room when she puts it on.
My daughter (17) saw 'Alexander' and said it was absolutely excruciating to sit through. At one point she was happy and relieved because it appeared that Alexander was dead, the movie was over, and she could finally leave. But then it turned out that Alexander wasn't dead after all and she had to sit there for another hour. Words failed her in trying to relate just how bad this movie was.
"At one point she was happy and relieved because it appeared that Alexander was dead, the movie was over, and she could finally leave."
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!
BUT NOOOO!
LOL!
I swore off Oliver Stone movies after the Doors.
...and that was one of his "good" ones.
Why anyone would trust a 150 million budget to this kook is beyond me. They should of known he would try to force some kind of left-wing political message into it; this time it seems like some kind of gay theme. I think finally though its over for him. He won't ever be trusted with a big budget again, and maybe not even a small one. What a loss though; a big, action movie about Alexander could have been so great.
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