I went to the 86th floor balcony of the Empire State building once - in 1987. I very quickly turned back and went back inside. Why? Because when I am high up like that, I have an almost incontrollable urge to jump off. I also keep imagining that somebody is going to come up behind me and push me off. I can't explain it. I am not suicidal. I have no wish to die. I often have nightmares about being at the top of a tall building and walking to the very edge of it, looking down, and then jumping off. It's very weird.
I know what you mean. In 1988 I got to go outside on the roof of the WTC south tower. It was surreal.
My mom has the same problem. She is extremely apprehensive of heights and certainly has no desire for suicide. She says the feeling is so excruciating that she just feels like jumping to go ahead and get it over with.
Man you better get and talk to someone.
That comes from listening to too much Ozzy and Priest. Or maybe you simply need a hug ... or better yet, a pet. May I suggest a nice kitty cat?
>I went to the 86th floor balcony of the Empire State building once<
I have to hold onto the shoulder of a perfect stranger going down the open stairwell of a parking garage (from the second floor!). You should have seen me going up the Space Needle the first time, plastered to the back of the elevator. But the second time I went up it was a breeze!
This is quite normal, actually. Many people experience the same thing.
That's one of many possible manifestations of obsessive-compusive disorder -- an odd, unwanted urge to harm yourself or others.
I've been sky diving, bungee jumping, and glacier hiking - it is just tall buildings and stairways where I think I'm going to fall/get pushed over the edge.
HELP.
Trajan88; TAMU Class of '88
I have the same syndrome. Its not an urge to jump off but its a FEAR that an urge will come over you. I wonder if this is more common than I thought...
Second, it's not unusual to dream you're in a high place and about to fall. But in my dreams, I always fly at such points. Not from famous buildings, but from high buildings or cliffs, what have you, I'll swoop down and continue flying.
Do you have flying dreams?
I would definitely have been one of the jumpers on 9/11. My husband says he would have stayed in the flames. Takes all kinds, huh?
I've heard that urge to do something completely off the wall like that referred to as the "Imp of the Perverse". I don't get it on high buildings, but I have to walk far around the grates in parking lots because I get the urge to throw my car keys down them. I'm also afraid I'm going to drop them down in there and be left stranded without access to my car.
So I know what you're talking about.
LQ