'Alexander': A Crying Sham (Oliver Stone's "Alexander" a bisexual crybaby)

Washington Post ^ | 11/24/04 | Stephen Hunter

[jalisco555]

If you played a word-association game with "Alexander the Great," you'd probably come up with "conqueror," "king," "warrior," "legend," "despot," "wastrel" or "killer." Unfortunately, Oliver Stone has chosen to build his epic of the Macedonian military genius around a word highly unlikely to make the list: "crybaby."

In Stone's view, this is a highly neurotic young man whose emotions, far from being repressed or disciplined as one would expect of a great soldier of the 4th century B.C., are worn on his sleeve, except, of course, that he doesn't have sleeves, the shirt still being two millennia down the road. So he wears them on his wrist -- and it's a limp one.

As Alexander's mother, Angelina Jolie (replete with snake) is given a thankless role, while star Colin Farrell gets lost in the shuffle in another been-there, seen-that battle scene. (Photos Jaap Buitendijk -- Warner Bros. Pictures)

That's the weirdest aspect of the extremely weird, if absurdly expensive, movie. Stone gives himself much credit of "telling the truth" about Alexander's bisexuality as if it's some progressive badge of honor, but at the same time he can't get away from the cruelest, least imaginative stereotyping: His Alexander, as expressed through the weepy histrionics of Colin Farrell, is more like a desperate housewife than a soldier. He's always crying, his voice trembles, his eyes fill with tears. He's much less interesting, except as a basket case, than Richard Burton's Alexander of far less enlightened times -- 1956 -- in Robert Rossen's "Alexander the Great."

[Ciexyz]

I've read other Stephen Pressfield novels on the ancient world (can't tell you their names because I passed them on to others), but one dealt with the battle at Thermopolae, and were most excellent reads.

Thanks for the tip, I'll look for "The Virtue of War".

[AmishDude]

It should be noted that a "hit" these days will often break even at the box office. From Box Office Mojo and IMDB (all money in millions):

Date	Title	Gross		Costs
		Domestic	Foreign	Budget	Marketing
11/24/04	Alexander			$155	$60
12/22/99	Any Given Sunday	$76	$25	$55	$7?
10/3/97	U-Turn	$7		$19
12/22/95	Nixon	$13		$44	$6?
8/26/94	Natural Born Killers	$50		$50
12/25/93	Heaven and Earth	$6		$33
12/20/91	JFK	$70	$135	$40
3/1/91	The Doors	$34		$38
12/22/89	Born on the Fourth of July	$70	$91	$14
12/23/88	Talk Radio	$3		$4
12/11/87	Wall Street	$43		$15
12/19/86	Platoon	$139		$6

I find it interesting that his US history pics do better overseas. Stone does OK with medium-priced movies that can generate a lot of buzz. There's no way I'd trust him with a $200 million film, though. No way. A blockbuster is $100 million domestic and Platoon is the only one that comes close.

Some Schadenfraude

[jalisco555]

You might be interested to know that it isn't only leftists like Stone who take a dim view of Alexander's imperial mission. Victor Davis Hanson says that the most controversial article he ever wrote was one entitled, IIRC, "Alexander the Killer" where he condemned Alexander as a butcher who slaughtered his enemies without mercy and who conquered for the sake of conquest. The whole bit about spreading Greek civilization was an ex post facto rationalization, so he says. An interesting counterpoint to the conventional wisdom from a man who is certainly no knee-jerk liberal.

[jalisco555]

Colin Farrell was NOT strong enough in screen presence to carry off this role.

The only film of Farrell's I've seen is Phone Booth, which was pretty entertaining provided you didn't think about it too much. It was also mercifully short, which Alexander apparently isn't.

[jalisco555]

Since I love the classical world, this film is still worth one viewing.

I too love the classical world. Why can't Hollywood get it right for once? Gladiator was the best I've seen in a long time but it was marred by gross historical inaccuracies that really hampered my enjoyment. An Alexander movie that simply stuck with the facts would be a pleasure to watch and a financial success to boot. Now it won't be attempted for another generation. I've heard rumors concerning film biographies of Hannibal being in the works but I'm not optimistic they'll get that right either.

[jalisco555]

Thanks for the statistics. That anyone would entrust such an ambitious project to this overrated auteur proves how little intelligence exists in Hollywood.

[Ciexyz]

I'm looking forward to the proposed film version of Stephen Pressfield's book on the Gates of Thermopolae. Maybe Russell Crowe will get a role in that production?

Yes, it's most distressing that we may not get another Alexander film for 20 years.

[Ciexyz]

Colin Farrell was very good in the Bruce Willis WW II flop...sheesh, the name escapes me now...the theater was almost deserted when a friend and I went opening weekend. It was about a German prison camp, and Willis and Farrell are involved in court martial proceedings.

[joebuck]

"There's another Steven Pressfield book you have to read (if you haven't already) called Gates of Fire. It's a brilliant retelling of the stand that King Leonidis and the 300 Spartans made against the Persians at Thermopolai (sp)."

Interesting you bring this up. When I first saw this thread I wondered why doesn't Hollywood make a movie about acient Greece that dealt with something other than Alexander or Troy. I thoght, boy the battle of Thermopylae would make a great movie. Three hundred of the toughest Spartans defenting a mountain pass in a rear guard action against more than 200,000 Persians. They were on a suicide mission to delay the Persians for a day while their main force could retreat and regroup. These 300 soldiers held off the Persians for seven days and fought until the last man was dead. They took out anywhere from 20,000 to 30,000 Persians in the process. That would make a great movie.

While I was thinking about this I read your post and see that there is a movie about this in the works. Based on your recommendation I bought Gates of Fire on Wed., started it about 6:00 and didn't stop until 4:45 AM, when I finished it. Great book and thanks for the tip.

[Polonius]

The wildly held misconception is that Rome 'Fell' shortly after the sacking of Rome in 410 AD by Attila

Actually, it was Alaric who sacked Rome in 410.

[Ciexyz]

FYI, there's also an audiobook on "Gates of Fire" (written by Stephen Pressfield) which is narrated by Derek Jacobi, who was featured in Gladiator and of course starred in "I, Claudius".

The Colin Farrell/Bruce Willis WW II movie I mentioned in Post 108 is "Hart's War".

[Windsong]

"The only film of Farrell's I've seen is Phone Booth, which was pretty entertaining provided you didn't think about it too much. It was also mercifully short, which Alexander apparently isn't."

Absolutely HATED the brat in Minority Report. Every scene he was in was WAY overacted. What Spielberg and Cruise were thinking in hiring this half-wit actor is beyond me, but Minority Report would have been brought up a notch on the grading scale had they hired someone else.

[Windsong]

"Colin Farrell was very good in the Bruce Willis WW II flop...sheesh, the name escapes me now"

Hart's War

[Ciexyz]

"Hart's War" is on display at Walmart along with other big releases from the past, in the aisle section - which is for their bigger sellers. The film is probably selling well due to Colin Farrell fans who are just now discovering it.

I liked his performance in it, but was offended by the portrayal of the US troops as raving racists.