Spanking has no place in our children's violence-filled world

Naples Daily News ^ | November 21, 2004 | KATHY HERRMANN

[The Great Yazoo]

Doesn't her argument cut against itself? Or is iy just me?

In the days in which parental (and school) spankings were prelevant, "we were safe." Not that they aren't, we aren't?

[expatguy]

I willing to bet that Kathy Herrmann does not have a 3 year old.

[AnAmericanMother]

Kathy Hermann has let her job color her thinking.

A calculated, limited spanking delivered in sorrow, not anger, or a quick swat on the behind when the kid is caught flagrante delicto, is a far cry from the sort of savage indiscriminate beating that sends women and children to her organization.

Most sensible people know when the line is crossed between a spanking and child abuse. But for Ms. Hermann, ALL "violence" down to poking somebody with an elbow or a slap on the back is "evil" and there is no question of degree. Of course in the real world that she has left behind, there is always a question of degree. She's probably anti-war too.

[BibChr]

There are two ways to respond to this.

One would be to argue at length about how flawed her premises and conclusions are. That's a fine approach, and has been done.

Another is to quote a verse like this one —

He who withholds his rod hates his son,
But he who loves him seeks him early with discipline
(Proverbs 13:24, my translation of the Hebrew text)

— and simply to observe that consistent, loving corporal discipline is part and parcel of the practice of Christian faith. To urge that it be abandoned is to urge that Christianity not be practiced — which is to assert that Jesus was a liar, and is now dead.

None of which I find tenable.

Dan
Biblical Christianity web site
Biblical Christianity message board
Why I Am (Still) a Christian

[SirLurkedalot]

I'll bet she's got a sh**load of cats though!

[BibChr]

I willing to bet that Kathy Herrmann does not have a 3 year old.

...or that, if she does, you'd not want to be confined in a room with it for long!

Dan

[infidel29]

Excellent point, back when schools actually disciplined children, allowed...shhh.. prayer..., taught history and celebrated our country. Parents spanked their children and we were taught what was right and wrong. Nowadays, people are too worried about how children "feel" about what they`ve done, they psychoanalyze the child. Children learn that there is no real punishment or consequence for their actions.

[Horatio Gates]

Those in prison today report that they were spanked as children

And they were also beaten and abused by mama's boyfriend of the week and took out their sociopathology on law abiding citizens. Cry me a river.

[Caipirabob]

We were able to graduate reinforcement from physical threat to privilege deprivation. One builds on top of the other. The kids know we follow through with whatever we say, and that's it.

Once we "hooked" them into the privileges (TV, GameCube, Gameboy and Disney World Trips) we can deprive them of a favored privilege to modify their behavior.

Works like a charm. We are lucky, though. We have wonderful kids. We are seeing straight A's from our eldest this year.

[cripplecreek]

My first wife had two young sons and an infant. For the first 6 or 8 months we were together the older boys (5 and 6) disrespected, ignored, and defied their mother.

Finally i had enough and began spanking them. Inside of one year I could stop spanking them because they knew I meant business. Once I had gotten their attention other punishments were effective. The infant grew into obedience and respect and never needed a spanking.

[oblomov]

Well said. I was spanked as a child, and it filled me with self-discipline and a respect for legitimate authority, not resentment or anger.

[TheForceOfOne]

I really do not have the expertise to say what is right or wrong but I have raised an honor roll student and athletic achiever who is kind, smart, and respectful to us as a family. I never belittle what he does or wishes to do. I have told him that the best advice I can give him is not what he should do with his life just what he shouldn't do with his life. I prefer only to point out things that I know and things I have done when I was growing up that hurt me or my family. Kids and teenagers are smarter than we give them credit for sometimes. I do not create family problems that escalate such as room cleaning into major problems, yes they need to be done but it is something they will learn as they when know one else is left to do it. At times I refuse to make meals just so that he will do it himself and at first he complained and now he goes into the kitchen and makes whatever he wants instead of trying to make a meal every day that everyone likes or prepare it with only ingredients that everyone likes. I like mushrooms and tomatoes and he doesn't its just a fact of life. However I am going to give him his first car for one basic reason and that is I do not wish to impede on his grades or athletics in high school and his chances for a scholarship somewhere. He is going to have a lifetime of work ahead of him and I want to keep his priorities straight. Here is the last comment I wish to make and it testifies his point of view as to when I went to school in the 70's and that is he and his friends cannot wait for school to begin at the end of summer and who their teachers will be and I sadly hated school but went everyday and got good grades. What drove me to do what I hated was the fact my parents divorced when I was young and I lived with my mother who worked two jobs to support us and I couldn't bare to disappoint here when she was trying so hard for us. I grew up early in the face of reality and I am better for it and he is too.

[madprof98]

The overwhelming preponderance of scientific research has found that spanking a child today is likely to fill a child with resentment, anger and self-doubt.

I wonder how much of our tax money went into this "scientific research."

[Check6]

The author of this article is essentially brain-dead.

[TommyDale]

The author of the article should be spanked.

[Max Combined]

"The spanking I received in the 1950s would today be considered criminal."

It does seem to have messed up her thought processes.

[Carolinamom]

Yesterday, in a grocery store I witnessed and heard a 3-year-old child sitting on the floor and screaming for a good 5 minutes. His mother ignored him and continued to shop. Ordinarily, ignoring him might have worked if it were any place but a public place. I felt like spanking him myself...one whack on his bottom might have surprised him enough to stop assaulting the ears of the rest of us.

As the mother of 5 now grown children, I would have at least left the store if I were so squimish about spanking.

[Xenalyte]

Children who grow up in violent homes are more likely to end up in jail than those where violent discipline is not practiced. Those in prison today report that they were spanked as children. Was it the parental discipline that put them on a criminal path?

When we got old enough, our parents practiced the novel concept of Choices and Consequences. They'd say, "You can choose to keep doing that, but the consequence of (spanking/grounding/whatever) will be visited on you swift and sure."

On the rare occasions when I decided to challenge them, they stuck by their word. OUCH.

And somehow, we three kids have never been pregnant, addicted, or jailed.

[R. Scott]

In the days in which parental (and school) spankings were prelevant, "we were safe." Not that they aren't, we aren't?

That - and there is a difference between "spanking" and "violent abuse"

[Xenalyte]

Boy, Ms. Hermann would have hated my mother's Perfect Posture method.

Mom would walk around the dinner table with a fork in her hand, and if we slouched, she'd run the fork down our spines. That'll make your shoulders go back FAST.