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How to Save the Democratic Party
TCS ^ | 11/12/2004 | James K. Glassman

Posted on 11/19/2004 6:40:27 PM PST by rdb3


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How to Save the Democratic Party

By James K. Glassman  Published   11/12/2004 



Last year, Georgia Sen. Zell Miller wrote a book called A National Party No More, warning fellow Democrats that they had lost touch with America and -- unless they returned to their pro-growth, strong-defense, values-oriented roots -- they were doomed to permanent minority status.

The Democrats didn't listen. Instead, they ostracized Miller, who became the keynote speaker at the Republican convention in September.

 

Miller turned out to be right. George W. Bush won a stunning victory, and Republicans tightened their grip on the House and increased their margin in the Senate. But, incredibly, many Democrats still don't understand what happened to them. They blame their defeat -- which they incorrectly see as narrow -- on John Kerry's ineptitude as a candidate or the GOP's get-out-the-vote drive.

 

As someone who generally likes Republican policies, I'm faced with a dilemma. Should I give the Democrats serious advice -- as Miller did -- on how to get back into the political ball game? Or should I rejoice at their denial and keep my mouth shut?

 

I have searched my conscience and made my choice. So, here are 10 recommendations (with fingers, well, somewhat crossed) on how to save the Democratic Party:

 

1. Nominate Hillary Rodham Clinton for president in 2008. A Northeastern senator will be a big advantage this time around as Americans tire of Southern hicks. Sure, her negatives are already 44 percent, but Hillary will resurrect government-run health care, a sure winner. Also, she'll get the support of the New York Times -- the key to the White House.
 

2. Be honest about the so-called terrorist "threat." As Democratic leaders know, it doesn't exist. If it did, then why hasn't there been another attack on American soil in more than three years? The platform should advocate disbanding the Homeland Security Department and banishing those screeners who make us get to the airport so early.
 

3. Fund a new Michael Moore documentary blowing the lid off religion in America. Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11, hailed by Senate Democratic leader Tom Daschle (whoops, soon-to-be former leader), nearly won the election for Kerry. The new movie will mock those kooky "born-agains," rendering them too embarrassed to show up at the polls.
 

4. Involve Hollywood more in the campaign. Kerry failed to make enough use of high-IQ stars like Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins and Ben Affleck. Whoopi Goldberg's brilliant speech at Kerry's Madison Square Garden fund-raiser galvanized America, but she dropped from sight. Use the woman!
 

5. Two words: "Gun Control." Why didn't Kerry emphasize gun control more instead of killing geese? Americans hate guns and understand that criminals do not shoot people, guns do. Ms. Clinton should push for a ban on the hunting of defenseless animals and a repeal of the Second Amendment, that antiquated guarantor of the so-called "right" to bear arms.
 

6. Reinstate the draft. America's military has become far too professionalized. Democrats understand that the best way to fight a modern war is with citizen soldiers. Also, do not hesitate to criticize our troops, who have botched the job in Iraq.
 

7. Bring foreigners into the Cabinet. The best way to improve relations with our European allies is to ask them to join the next Democratic administration. Jacques Chirac, for example, may soon retire as president of France. Why not ask him to become our next secretary of state? There's nothing in the Constitution that says he can't. Look it up.
 

8. Make George Soros chairman of the Democratic Party. Sure, it will be difficult to replace a genius like Terry McAuliffe (and let's not forget the help provided by Harold Ickes and Joe Lockhart). But Soros is a billionaire with a common touch, a rare ability to connect with Middle America (probably because he's from Mitteleuropa). He cleverly compared Republicans to Nazis and judiciously spent $24 million of his own money in efforts that came oh-so-close to beating Bush.
 

9. "Vote or Die." Use P. Diddy's catchy slogan, which turned out hundreds of millions of young first-time voters in 2004, as the main theme of the 2008 campaign.
 

10. Raise taxes across the board. Of course, fleece the rich. That's normal Democratic policy. But lower-income Americans will feel a stronger sense of community if they, too, contribute more to government. And, goodness knows, Washington could use the money.

 

Those are only 10 suggestions. I have a lot more for Mr. Chairman Soros. He should just ask.

 



Copyright © - www.techcentralstation.com



TOPICS: Culture/Society; Government; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: jameskglassman; kerrydefeat; rats
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Tongue in cheek, of course.

But ask me if the RAT party should be saved. You get only one guess.


1 posted on 11/19/2004 6:40:27 PM PST by rdb3
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Comment #2 Removed by Moderator

To: rdb3

Euthanasia would be a fitting end for the Democratic Party.


3 posted on 11/19/2004 6:45:17 PM PST by America1stParty (AmericaFirstAlliance@usa.com)
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To: rdb3
How to Save the Democratic Party

Why would anyone want to?

4 posted on 11/19/2004 6:46:11 PM PST by Scott from the Left Coast
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To: rdb3
How to Save the Democratic Party

The Democrats shouldn't get any helpful hints.

They'll find their way out of their wilderness years TOO SOON.

And watching them flop around like the chicken just "prepped" for
Sunday dinner is such a hoot that I never want it to end.
5 posted on 11/19/2004 6:46:51 PM PST by VOA
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To: rdb3

11. Invent more new morals, like choice for women and animal rights while continuing to avoid true morality to establish higher ground.

12. Find ways to "appear" to have values and principles.


6 posted on 11/19/2004 6:52:38 PM PST by Blue Collar Christian (Drivers of SUVs without brush scratches should be horsewhipped! ><BCC>)
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To: America1stParty

Why?


7 posted on 11/19/2004 6:54:04 PM PST by pecadillo
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To: Blue Collar Christian

It's sort of like saving the fire ant. It really shouldn't be done.


8 posted on 11/19/2004 6:54:50 PM PST by ReadyNow (When you see the eye, expect a lie!)
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To: rdb3

Save a party that thinks the most important thing in the world is the right of a woman to kill her unborn baby?


9 posted on 11/19/2004 6:57:05 PM PST by OldFriend (PRAY FOR POWERS EQUAL TO THE TASKS)
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To: VOA

The advice to the Dems here was so funny, I nearly cried.

Heheh, way to go, Chairman Soros!


10 posted on 11/19/2004 6:58:34 PM PST by JFK_Lib
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To: rdb3
A better write would have been:

10. Raise taxes across the board. Of course, fleece the rich. That's normal Democratic policy. But lower-income Americans will feel bitter losing their jobs when employers have to lay them off because of a resulting downturn in the economy based on a lack of incentives to invest. Then you can turn that bitterness and impoverishment into votes for more taxes and more poverty and more bitterness and more votes. Then you can walk away thinking how great you are in doing something, anything, to improve the lot of the less fortunate.

11. Unleash Democratic Party-contributing trial lawyers to cannibalize businesses so that prices to consumers are raised, and thereby productivity is punished while unproductive lawyers get enriched. These same trial lawyers can then whine about "two Americas" to the gullible.

11 posted on 11/19/2004 7:00:18 PM PST by Cultural Jihad
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To: rdb3
But ask me if the RAT party should be saved. You get only one guess.

In its current format, it should be saved.....much like the skunk, coyote, or yellow jacket should be saved.

12 posted on 11/19/2004 7:00:30 PM PST by Dan from Michigan ("...don't you fill me up with your rules, cause everybody knows that smoking ain't allowed in (bars))
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To: JFK_Lib

"Heheh, way to go, Chairman Soros!"

When the campaign was on-going, I heard a bit of one of Soros' speeches to his
fellow activists.

So rambling and incoherent...I was praying that it would get play on one
of Dubya's campaign ads.

But it looks like Rove knew better...leave the idiots allow while they are
busy destroying themselves.


13 posted on 11/19/2004 7:00:49 PM PST by VOA
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To: rdb3; Carry_Okie; forester; sasquatch; B4Ranch; SierraWasp; hedgetrimmer; knews_hound; ...

Personal list.


14 posted on 11/19/2004 7:01:14 PM PST by farmfriend ( In Essentials, Unity...In Non-Essentials, Liberty...In All Things, Charity.)
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To: ReadyNow

But don't you have any concern for the ecology or the balance of nature and politics?


15 posted on 11/19/2004 7:02:39 PM PST by Blue Collar Christian (Drivers of SUVs without brush scratches should be horsewhipped! ><BCC>)
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To: rdb3

That party ain't worth saving.


16 posted on 11/19/2004 7:06:51 PM PST by Fiddlstix (This Tagline for sale. (Presented by TagLines R US))
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To: rdb3
11. Endorse Gay Marriage. Encourage them Governors to come out of the closet with pouty lips. Have a Gay parade!

12. Ask the United Nations for an endorsement. Actively solicit the SG's unbridled support. Wave the UN flag instead of that hateful plebian nationalist one.

13. Carefully EXPLAIN to red state voters that they are just way too stupid to vote intelligently. Ask them for patriotic reasons to stay home and drink their corn from a jar.

17 posted on 11/19/2004 7:08:46 PM PST by kcar (theUNsucks.com)
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To: rdb3

bttt


18 posted on 11/19/2004 7:09:25 PM PST by BenLurkin (Big government is still a big problem.)
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To: pecadillo

Why not?


19 posted on 11/19/2004 7:12:26 PM PST by America1stParty (AmericaFirstAlliance@usa.com)
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To: rdb3

Over at the DU some dummies are talking about joing the Green party. They fault the democrats for not being liberal enough. Others are talking about Hillary saving the party in 2008. Looks like they agree with James Glassman.


20 posted on 11/19/2004 7:13:54 PM PST by sarasotarepublican (Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.)
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