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Ireland avoids war with France
18 Nov 2008 | edcoil

Posted on 11/18/2004 1:05:09 PM PST by edcoil

You will like this, this joke was sent to me via email.

Breaking News Story....

Jacques Chirac, The French Prime Minister, was sitting in his office wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one hundred fifty thousand since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on!" We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to two hundred thousand!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no foo-kin way we can feed two hundred thousand prisoners."


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: foreign
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1 posted on 11/18/2004 1:05:09 PM PST by edcoil
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To: edcoil

BAM! Didn't see that punchline coming. Nice one though.


2 posted on 11/18/2004 1:06:59 PM PST by Bogey78O (Kerry surrendered Florida faster than he surrendered the Mekong Delta)
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To: edcoil

LOL!


3 posted on 11/18/2004 1:07:27 PM PST by WinOne4TheGipper (Yes DUmmies, we stole the election, but you'll never figure out how. Love, the VRWC.)
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To: edcoil

ping


4 posted on 11/18/2004 1:08:15 PM PST by NavVet (“Benedict Arnold was wounded in battle fighting for America, but no one remembers him for that.”)
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To: Happygal

Ping! You may have heard something similar before, I suspect.


5 posted on 11/18/2004 1:08:40 PM PST by Argh
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To: edcoil

Thanks for the laugh, I needed it.


6 posted on 11/18/2004 1:09:26 PM PST by ReeseKev27
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To: edcoil

hahahaha, awesome.


7 posted on 11/18/2004 1:10:58 PM PST by Se7eN
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To: edcoil



Okay, that was a good one! Thanks!


8 posted on 11/18/2004 1:10:58 PM PST by Riddick (<- - - Also from the red part of California)
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To: marblehead17

This is worth your time - mostly because you've contemplated the same thing over a few beers.


9 posted on 11/18/2004 1:11:12 PM PST by Darth Reagan (It's a Beautiful Day, don't let it get away . . .)
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To: Happygal; aculeus

Ping to oldie but goodie.


10 posted on 11/18/2004 1:12:07 PM PST by dighton
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To: edcoil

Forwarded on to me Dear Old Irish Mudder in Law! Thanks!


11 posted on 11/18/2004 1:18:40 PM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (Save The Earth. It's The Only Planet With Chocolate.)
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To: edcoil

bttt


12 posted on 11/18/2004 1:29:08 PM PST by Born Conservative (New annual national holiday for liberals: Shock and Awe Day , November 3rd.)
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To: edcoil

I have an antique WWII French rifle for sale on EBay...
...Never fired, dropped once.


13 posted on 11/18/2004 2:06:30 PM PST by American Loudmouth
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To: edcoil

Floor On Laughing Off My A$$ Rolling! (Babelpost decoder rev 4.10.11)


14 posted on 11/18/2004 2:28:25 PM PST by talleyman (E=mc2 (before taxes.))
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To: edcoil
us irish only need 2 people to beat the french

The Boondock Saints,

15 posted on 11/18/2004 2:33:56 PM PST by MetalHeadConservative35 (Ted Nugent for Michigan Governor In 2006)
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To: dighton

Good one!


16 posted on 11/18/2004 3:55:13 PM PST by aculeus
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To: edcoil
Ireland avoids war with France ^

All illegal drugs operations safe.

/sarcasm

17 posted on 11/18/2004 4:01:51 PM PST by maestro
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To: edcoil

LOL!!! I loved it! BTW, from the spray, you owe me aq new Thinkpad. B-)


18 posted on 11/18/2004 4:06:49 PM PST by Nowhere Man (We have enough youth, how about a Fountain of Smart?)
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To: edcoil

LOL! If only it were true.


19 posted on 11/18/2004 4:08:07 PM PST by CWOJackson
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To: edcoil; Happygal
Lucky for the French. One Irishman is worth more cheese-eating-surrender-monkey Frenchmen than you can count. My grandfather O'Neill fought against the Brits in the Easter Rising at age thirteen.
20 posted on 11/18/2004 5:26:32 PM PST by jrewingjr (The Class of 98 STILL rocks the liberal assclowns.)
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