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Cosby, engage blacks to marry
Atlanta Journal Constitution ^ | November 13, 2003 | Cynthia Tucker

Posted on 11/13/2004 2:11:49 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife

Bill Cosby has his own values crusade going, and it's catching on in much of black America. When Cosby endorses academic achievement, discipline and parental involvement, he's supporting the traditional values to which many black Americans — in red states or blue — can relate.

You might be surprised to hear this, but there is little controversy over Cosby's rhetoric. A few fringe academics and left-wing scribes have attacked him, but he has drawn broad support, including from such civil rights activists as NAACP President Kweisi Mfume. Perhaps that's because Cosby's wisdom is self-evident.

Like so many others, I support Cosby's crusade. Indeed, I'll be there when he brings his old-fashioned sermonizing to Atlanta on Nov. 18, in an appearance at Douglass High School. I'd just like to add one small item to his agenda: marriage. I'd like to hear him — in the plain and unadorned language for which he has become known — urging black men and women to get married.

Having weathered crises together, he and Camille have been married for 40 years. He obviously believes in the institution. (The Cosbys are the parents of four daughters; their son, Ennis, was murdered in an apparent carjacking in 1997.) And Cosby has implicitly supported it in talks around the country — pointing out the detriment of teen pregnancy and urging fathers to get involved in their children's lives.

But I'm not sure that young black men and women are quite getting the message. Over the last few years, many unmarried young black fathers have begun attending parenting seminars to learn the basics of fatherhood. As a result, some are going to PTA meetings, monitoring their kids' report cards and even coaching their children's Little League teams. But too few are getting married to the mother of their children. What is better for kids than a law-abiding, hardworking dad who is present in the home?

The institution of marriage is in trouble throughout the Western world. High rates of divorce and pregnancy outside of marriage have destabilized traditional unions, not just here but in Western Europe, too. Even Japan, so long a traditional society, is experiencing divorce creep.

(Many critics of same-sex unions have promoted bans as a way to protect traditional marriage. I understand their worries over the state of heterosexual marriage, but its decline has nothing to do with gays and lesbians. The women's movement, Hollywood's idealized portrayals of marriage and old-fashioned adultery and betrayal have undermined heterosexual marriage, but gay couples have not.)

Among black Americans (whom some civil rights leaders have long described as "canaries in the coal mine" — an early warning system of ills that will soon afflict everyone), the problem has assumed alarming proportions. Marriage is fast becoming all but obsolete. Using figures from the U.S. Census Bureau, this chart shows the percentage of men who are married, by age group:

25-29 30-34 35-39

White 41% 59% 66%

Hispanic 36% 53% 64%

Black 25% 41% 43%

The high rates of incarceration among black men are certainly a hindrance to marriage. Joblessness is also a factor. But there is something else going on — a certain cultural shift that is harder to articulate: marriage has simply become devalued.

That's bad news. Marriage is not only a solid institution for rearing children. It also encourages responsible behavior and civic participation (good reasons for allowing gays and lesbians to marry, too). Furthermore, as the nation becomes increasingly mobile and young adults move away from their relatives, their spouses become their support system. That value increases as couples age.

The next time Cosby begins reminding black listeners about the need to return to self-respect and self-reliance, he ought to encourage marriage, too. It may be too late to save the institution from the relentless forces of modernism that threaten to crush it, but it's worth a try.

• Cynthia Tucker is the editorial page editor. Her column appears Sundays and Wednesdays.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: billcosby; blackfamilies; family; fathers; marriage
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A cry in the black education wilderness
1 posted on 11/13/2004 2:11:50 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife
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To: Cincinatus' Wife

Old news...

November 13, 2003


2 posted on 11/13/2004 2:14:09 AM PST by konaice
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To: Cincinatus' Wife

Could he be the next Secretary of Education? I bet you the number of drop outs will be decreased tremendously.


3 posted on 11/13/2004 2:14:39 AM PST by El Oviedo
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To: Cincinatus' Wife
"the need to return to self-respect and self-reliance"

Sounds like the liberals could be losing more of their 'captive audience.'

4 posted on 11/13/2004 2:17:47 AM PST by Ed_in_NJ (Who killed Suzanne Coleman?)
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To: Cincinatus' Wife
I wonder how that "percentage of married men" by age group compares to "percentage of Republicans" for the same people. Or "percentage of church-goers". What a great way to scientifically define the natural constituency.
5 posted on 11/13/2004 2:18:37 AM PST by Bernard (Let Freedom Reign)
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To: El Oviedo

Now that is an interesting idea. He has a PhEd. What a great choice.


6 posted on 11/13/2004 2:22:34 AM PST by ProudVet77 (02NOV04 - America to Kerry "Your fired!")
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To: konaice

Oops.


November 13, 2004


7 posted on 11/13/2004 2:31:51 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife
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To: El Oviedo

The black community can't ignore Cosby.

He's doing a lot of good by speaking the truth bluntly.

It's tough love.


8 posted on 11/13/2004 2:33:46 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife
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To: Bernard

I'm sure those would be interesting numbers.


9 posted on 11/13/2004 2:34:16 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife
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To: Cincinatus' Wife
It also encourages responsible behavior and civic participation (good reasons for allowing gays and lesbians to marry, too)

Er, no.
10 posted on 11/13/2004 2:35:03 AM PST by beezdotcom (I'm usually either right or wrong...)
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To: Ed_in_NJ

Minority votes are moving away from the Democratic Party lock.


11 posted on 11/13/2004 2:35:21 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife
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To: beezdotcom

Well, this is a Cynthia Tucker column and she is a Democrat.


12 posted on 11/13/2004 2:36:17 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife
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To: Cincinatus' Wife
Well, this is a Cynthia Tucker column and she is a Democrat.

Yes indeedy.

However, I started to see people fall all over themselves to pat her on the back, and I thought I'd point out at least one reason why I'm refraining from do so. She bemoans the devaluing of marriage, and then turns around and does it herself. (Yes, I know not everybody agrees.)
13 posted on 11/13/2004 2:45:38 AM PST by beezdotcom (I'm usually either right or wrong...)
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To: Cincinatus' Wife
But too few are getting married to the mother of their children. What is better for kids than a law-abiding, hardworking dad who is present in the home?

Feminism and the rights of women over the rights of men may have something to do with this also...

imo

14 posted on 11/13/2004 2:46:01 AM PST by joesnuffy ("The merit of our Constitution was, not that it promotes democracy, but checks it." Horatio Seymour)
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To: beezdotcom

Well, I do like to pat people on the back when they see a problem and try to do something about it.


15 posted on 11/13/2004 2:49:14 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife
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To: Cincinatus' Wife

"Well, this is a Cynthia Tucker column and she is a Democrat."

Let me paraphrase Ed Koch and say she must be a democrat with sanity.

I wonder if she's correct, that Cosby is starting to get some traction with his valid criticisms. Maybe I'm just hearing liberal flack from the white mainstream media, but I thought he was still being looked at askance over this.

I sincerely hope Ms. Tucker is right and I am wrong. (And I don't expect to say THAT again for quite a while!) Nothing, no single thing, could do this country more good than for there to be a real conservative revival amoung Black people. There are so many prominent Black entertainers, etc. a real cultural revival in that community, well, if that came after the shock & awe of 11/2/04, well, I don't know how to even describe it, it would really turn this nation around.

I have been annoyed at times with Bill Cosby over the years, but I fully support him in this effort. And I will always love him for "The Chicken Heart that Ate New York". I can't even remember it, but I just remember laughing so hard I thought I was gonna pass out. That was when I was about 10 years old, you can really laugh your *ss off at that time of life, and I very nearly did.


16 posted on 11/13/2004 2:49:51 AM PST by jocon307 (Maintain the mandate!)
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To: joesnuffy
In my opinion too and apparently Ms Tucker's........The women's movement, Hollywood's idealized portrayals of marriage and old-fashioned adultery and betrayal have undermined heterosexual marriage,.....
17 posted on 11/13/2004 2:50:40 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife
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To: jocon307
Let me paraphrase Ed Koch and say she must be a democrat with sanity.

Um...go read some more Cynthia Tucker columns, and then tell me if you're still saying that. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
18 posted on 11/13/2004 2:53:27 AM PST by beezdotcom (I'm usually either right or wrong...)
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To: Cincinatus' Wife
Well, I do like to pat people on the back when they see a problem and try to do something about it.

Yes, but her solution is like "Oh, I see you've been poisoned. Here's some antidote...and here's a tad more poison thrown in for good measure."

Maybe I'm choking on a gnat, here. But I don't like eating gnats.
19 posted on 11/13/2004 2:56:55 AM PST by beezdotcom (I'm usually either right or wrong...)
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To: jocon307
You know how it is when someone disciplines you in public, it doesn't go over very well but after the shock wears off and you have some time to think about it, it gains currency.

There are a lot of blacks and others with high visibility and not so high visibility working to change attitudes and lives. I've LINKED some in Post #1.

The Democratic Party does not have the best interests of Americans in mind. LIBERALS focus their energy on power and that envolves lying to people instead of being truthful.
20 posted on 11/13/2004 3:00:33 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife
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