Yet another 'Rat in desperate need of therapy -Vanity

Received this e-mail from another sad specimen. Can these folks not simply deal with it?

The first thing I did to steal your election was to make friends with ALL the manufacturers and code-verifyers of the Electronic Voting Machines. They were really nice, especially Diebold who gave me $600,000 for my campaign. Wow, thanks dude!

Next, I had my attack dog, Karl Rove, convince these companies to either alter the vote totals on the central tabulator machines (simple PCs running windows using Remote Access Server -- RAS), or reprogram (via a downloadable software patch) the voting machines themselves so that they would give the advantage to ME! Isn't America great?!? A little money and some religious zealotry goes a looooong, loooong way. Oh, the religious zealotry thing? That's just a cover. I'm not really a Christian -- or at least I don't act like one. Anyway, I digress.

Did you ever hear the media complaining about how inaccurate the exit polls were in prior elections? No. That's because they basically ARE accurate. But this election, the exit polls showed Kerry WAY ahead. No problem. My buddies rigged the machines (and all they needed to do was rig it in one state, Ohio, but they took care of at least Florida for me too) not only to make me squeak by in the important battleground states, like Florida and Ohio, but they also made sure that when I did get a state that I was expected to win, the margin was HUGE so that my "popular" vote would make it look like I had a mandate.

So let's recap how the popular vote thing worked again. Let's say we didn't want it to look suspicious by taking states that Kerry really would have won (except for Ohio and Florida, gotta take those! heh heh). So we let him win there, but in order once again to boost the "popular" vote (I put that in quotes because as you know, I'm not REALLY popular), we bring my vote tallies RIGHT UP NEXT to Kerry's, to jack up the "popular" vote as much as possible, even if I didn't win the state.

Then, with states like North Carolina, we know we're going to steal the state anyway (at least according to what the exit polls were telling everyone.... and according to the long, long lines of new voters were telling everyone ... because we all know most of those people were voting for Kerry, not the status quo), so we just jack the crap out of the vote total to REALLY stuff a crapload of "popular" votes in my pocket. You see, this way I can get on the TV and declare that I have a "mandate" and that I'm going to "cash in" on my political "capital" (which I don't really have of course, but we made it look that way).

Here's a nice chart to show you what I mean. Take special note of how the electronic voting machine totals compare to the paper ballot totals. And see what I mean about North Carolina? (Hyperlink deleted so as to not encourage these morons.)

Look folks, if you really want me out of office, first you're going to have to impeach me. But you know what, if you don't have verifiable paper trails at the polls like these folks recommend (Hyperlink deleted so as to not encourage these morons.), and if you don't take these voting machines out of the hands of private companies that are aligned with one end of the political spectrum, then I'm gonna just continue to hose you (and then my brother Jeb will be president too cause we're into this dynasty thing, kind of like my buddies the Saudis... ain't it cool?!?). Also, in 2006, we're going to steal about five more senate seats, and then we'll have the "super-majority". That means the Democrats can't do that confounded fillerbs... fillas.... fillbusters.... CRAP, well, they can't get in the darn way any more and we can pass ANY laws we want about ANYTHING and put whoever we want on the Supreme court. Ha ha, then you're REALLY screwed. So if you don't fix this mess (I mean great system) in two years and have a verifiable voting system nationwide, America is MINE!!!!! (and Jeb's and my daddy's and Cheney's and Rove's... hey, we could even pass a law saying I could be president for FOUR MORE YEARS after 2008! That would be SOOO cool!) Anyway, I digress once again.

Here's one of my favorite sites: (Hyperlink deleted so as to not encourage these morons.)

And that pesky Bev Harris. Man I wish she would go away. If too many of you contribute to her cause, I might just get in trouble so KNOCK IT OFF!!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, "Fool me once.....", oh CRAP, I forgot again. Well how about this? "This would be a heck of lot easier if this was [grammar incorrect] a dictatorship.... just so long as I'm the dictator. Heh, heh." Well, sorry to say folks, but I got my way. What are you gonna do about it, huh? Bring it on!!!

Frankly, it's easy to understand why these people are so upset, sad, and/or angry...

The media has been vilifiying, and more importantly, telling us what a boob and dolt President Bush is, since before he won the primary in 1999. They were just echoing what they heard from the MSM in Texas, and then adding to it.

One reporter uses another for a reference, and before long, you wind up with someone who should really need a ventillator in order to keep breathing... This guy has no brain at all! And let's not forget the word "gravitas!" And then the European press picks up on it, spreading the word that the unenlightened masses of the USA might just elect someone even dumber than they are! Then, the MSM in the US picks up just what the european press thinks of this cantidate, and you know, they must be right, since they're european, and it is much worse that even they thought it was! The guy would lose in a debate to a rock!

That's how a man who graduated from Yale, achieved a Harvard MBA, and flew fighter jets got labled a simpleton, moron, and far worse. The leftists believe it to the completely true, and they simply can't fathom that this "hockey puck" (appologies to Don Rickels) out-thinks and politically out-manuvers them at every turn! There must be "foul play" here!

Another reason that these people get so upset that President Bush won the election, to the point of wanting to get therapy (the fact that they're so upset about the election that they want therapy indicates that they NEED therapy, but not about the election!) to help them cope with their loss. I believe that the reason behind this is due to the fact that President Bush has been so thouroughly villified by hate groups like ANSWER and MOVE-ON.ORG, as well as his political opponents, like McAwful, Gore, and Ol WaterWings himself, that they're beside themselves that such an evil man could have won! I mean, this guy (President Bush) is worse than Hitler, and Satan, and Enron, and Halliburton all put together! This man in patently evil, and he wants to kill all the good people, and give the contract to Halliburton to grind up those good, dead people, and turn them into oil!

He's been so thouroughly villified that some of these pathetic people see President Bush as the face of evil incarnate, maybe even their own "anti-christ," so of course, they're terribly upset that "their country" is now being run by an "evil man."

I really pity these people, but that pity is tempered with suspicion. Because I have no doubt that there are some "unhinged" leftist morons out there who might decide that becoming a suicide bomber isn't really a bad thing.

Mark

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