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Hello, Uranus? Got Any Room? (The Mark Morford Column We've All Been Waiting For)
San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Friday, November 5, 2004 | Mark Morford, Spends a great deal of time at Uranus

Posted on 11/05/2004 5:55:20 AM PST by presidio9

I said it, you said it, pretty much anyone with a brain larger than a grape or a soul more nimble than a rock said it maybe a thousand times over. And you probably weren't even all that drunk when you said it and maybe you were even a little more than half serious and maybe you said it just like this: If Bush somehow snags another election, if the unthinkable comes to pass and the Dubya neocon nightmare refuses to end, well, that's it. I'm outta here.

Done. Over. Gone. Moving away. To Canada. Or France. Latvia. Uranus. Anywhere, really, that doesn't have Bush as leader and that doesn't make me openly ashamed to be a citizen and that doesn't make me feel like a sickened disillusioned ulcerated outcast in my own happily divisive country every damn day including Sunday.

You want a place, you say, that doesn't right this minute seem to be working heroically to make homophobia and born-again fundamentalism and pre-emptive isolationist warmongering and environmental ignorance a national religion. A place where SUVs aren't considered minor deities and where gay people aren't loathed for wanting to slice a wedding cake and where brazen heavily narcotized denial in the face of a veritable mountain of presidential lies isn't the national pastime.

Tempting, isn't it? To just move away to a sunnier, clothing-optional utopia and wait for it all to be over, for the dark days to pass and the Shrub era to sink into the tar pits of history and the fog to finally lift?

After all, most all of us on the progressive Left feel we truly faced the dragon this election, and we put up a valiant fight and marshaled as potent an army of dissenters and intellectuals and moderates and liberal crusaders and feminists

(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Politics/Elections; War on Terror
KEYWORDS: adamandsteve; chocolatestarfish; hersheyhighway; hyperventilating; lamentationofwomen; mandatorybarfalert; mba
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To: presidio9
"If Bush somehow snags another election, if the unthinkable comes to pass and the Dubya neocon nightmare refuses to end, well, that's it. I'm outta here."

Well, buh bye. And don't let the door hit URANUS on the way out.

41 posted on 11/05/2004 6:16:30 AM PST by Enterprise (The left hates the Constitution. Islamic Fascism hates America. Natural allies.)
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To: presidio9

Of course if Morford can't make it to Uranus...any anus will do.


42 posted on 11/05/2004 6:16:35 AM PST by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: PBRSTREETGANG

Michael Moore should have room he has already put the entire DNC up there.


43 posted on 11/05/2004 6:18:48 AM PST by TheForceOfOne
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To: BigSkyFreeper
"....loofah sponge." I thought we were never ever suppose to talk about that again..... Internet lies I tell you lies, alll lies, cost me millions, lies!
44 posted on 11/05/2004 6:19:42 AM PST by Just mythoughts
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To: presidio9
Done. Over. Gone. Moving away. To Canada. Or France. Latvia. Uranus. Anywhere, really, that doesn't have Bush as leader and that doesn't make me openly ashamed to be a citizen and that doesn't make me feel like a sickened disillusioned ulcerated outcast in my own happily divisive country every damn day including Sunday.

Sound to me like he has his head up his own anus.

45 posted on 11/05/2004 6:20:15 AM PST by rapture-me
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To: dirtboy
It wasn't even coincidence, let alone an accident. Especially when the article itself is chock full of bathhouse pick up lines.

You cannot leave. You cannot drop the armor now. Why? Because you are needed, more than ever. You are mandatory to keep the energy flowing, the karmic vibrator buzzing....

The above is just one example.

46 posted on 11/05/2004 6:20:20 AM PST by BigSkyFreeper (Congratulations President-Re-Elect George W. Bush!)
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To: presidio9

Where's the love?


47 posted on 11/05/2004 6:21:07 AM PST by jslade (People who are easily offended......OFFEND ME!)
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To: jslade

I thought Uranus was another name for San Francisco.


48 posted on 11/05/2004 6:24:12 AM PST by JustAnotherOkie
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To: presidio9

He sounds fairly.. er..
How WOULD one say that he sounds like his mind has been squeezed like a lime, it's angst sweetening the heady taste of victory?
But in less words and with more 'UNNNGH!'?
Ah yes..
"HAH - hah!"


49 posted on 11/05/2004 6:24:20 AM PST by Darksheare (Personality shattered and horribly twisted, the humor flows out through the cracks.)
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To: Fierce Allegiance

Laughing too hard...can't breathe...getting dizzy...


50 posted on 11/05/2004 6:27:30 AM PST by TheBigB ("Hi, my name's Emil Muz and I'm a ...pagan. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!")
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To: presidio9

If 80,000 voters in Ohio had voted the other way, some of us might be writing something nearly as melancholy and desperate as this.

But there really is a difference, I believe. First, there is comfort in acknowledging the enduring princinples of right and wrong that are not made up as we go along... comfort that these liberals cannot enjoy. Second, those who do have faith in God, tend to see things from a worldview that rises above human efforts. Third, we believe that truth (not intellectualism or elitism) is what is missing from the other side, and we are confident that truth will ultimately prevail. We don't say that the other side is "dumb," we say that the other side just doesn't seem to understand the long term consequences of their elitist and socialistic and humanistic preferences.

So in the end, I see this article, and its author, as pathetic. And I thank God for those 80,000 voters in Ohio who made the difference.


51 posted on 11/05/2004 6:28:31 AM PST by Sophocles
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To: presidio9

Typical leftist with a defeatist attitude.


52 posted on 11/05/2004 6:29:27 AM PST by BigSkyFreeper (Congratulations President-Re-Elect George W. Bush!)
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To: presidio9
It seemed like a completely serious column for a while, but she just had to work in the "karmic vibrator."

It would be nice if some of the kooks that inhabit San Francisco would move to Canada, or France. Aside from the extreme goofiness of the population, S.F.'s a great place.

53 posted on 11/05/2004 6:31:08 AM PST by B Knotts (Karl Rove: genius. Period.)
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To: TheBigB

I shouldn't have said anything, most of the good keywords are gone now.


54 posted on 11/05/2004 6:32:01 AM PST by Fierce Allegiance (Stay safe in the "sandbox" Greg!)
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To: presidio9

Don't let the door hit you in the butt on your way out.


55 posted on 11/05/2004 6:32:26 AM PST by The Great RJ
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To: SlowBoat407

He looks like Ur-anus too. He looks like a arse. Walks and talks like an arse. He is an arse! I can understand that some people are Demoncraziacs and some are Republicans in this country. No big deal. But they tried to elect the worst possible candidate they could have ever chosen. They have respectable people on their side, John Breaux, Joe Lieberman, Zell Miller..........


56 posted on 11/05/2004 6:33:01 AM PST by buffyt (When your position on black abortion is identical to the Klan's, maybe it's time to reconsider.)
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To: Fierce Allegiance

Yeah, where did the good keywords go? I was laughing my head off at them.

LQ


57 posted on 11/05/2004 6:33:53 AM PST by LizardQueen
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To: presidio9

“to keep the progressive and lucid half of the nation breathing and healthy and awake "
Um, which “half” of the nation is MM referring to? I see a lot of red on the election map and have a special karmic vibrator for his wedding cake topping he can slice on Uranus.


58 posted on 11/05/2004 6:34:28 AM PST by kc2theline (4 more years!)
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To: presidio9

Too funny not to bookmark


59 posted on 11/05/2004 6:35:23 AM PST by Clintons Are White Trash (Helen Thomas, Molly Ivins, Maureen Dowd - The Axis of Ugly)
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To: LizardQueen

Mods kill the Un-PC keywords. We don't want to look like DU'ers, even thought the keywords were funny as the gays are sick.


60 posted on 11/05/2004 6:35:52 AM PST by Fierce Allegiance (Stay safe in the "sandbox" Greg!)
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