Posted on 11/04/2004 9:32:38 PM PST by Validus
Friday, November 5th, 2004 17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists...by Michael Moore
Dear Friends,
Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in, let's, in the words of Monty Python, “always look on the bright side of life!” There IS some good news from Tuesday's election.
Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists:
1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.
2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.
3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young adults (Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your parents are always wrong and you should never listen to them.
4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of the Americans still think the country is headed in the wrong direction (56%), thinks the war is a mistake (51%), and doesn’t approve of the job George W. Bush is doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out. It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)
5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in the Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack the Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats do their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.
6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them in lava. And no more show tunes!
7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just any old nut -- a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a poisonous nut. May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces Michigan.
8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50 years, America will no longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't such a long time! If you're ten years old and reading this, your golden years will be truly golden and you will be well cared for in your old age.
9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get married in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won't have to buy now.
10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress, including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It's always good to have more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our candidates can't.
11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in Colorado. Drink up!
12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away.
13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at least 3 chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled state legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went into the 2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53 chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control 47 chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber is tied and 1 chamber (Montana House) is still undecided.
14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no greater moment than the one he's having this week. It's all downhill for him from here on out -- and, more significantly, he's just not going to want to do all the hard work that will be expected of him. It'll be like everyone's last month in 12th grade -- you've already made it, so it's party time! Perhaps he'll treat the next four years like a permanent Friday, spending even more time at the ranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's already proved his point, avenged his father and kicked our ass.
15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a very dark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following two scenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander to the Christian conservatives again to get elected, someone may whisper in his ear that he should spend these last four years building "a legacy" so that history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus he will not push for too aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will become so cocky and arrogant -- and thus, reckless -- that he will commit a blunder of such major proportions that even his own party will have to remove him from office.
16. There are nearly 300 million Americans -- 200 million of them of voting age. We only lost by three and a half million! That's not a landslide -- it means we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If you had 58 yards to go before you reached the goal line and then you barreled down 55 of those yards, would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the ball and go home crying -- especially when you get to start the next down on the three yard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies are coming!!!
17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for the candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the total number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore. Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking for a trend it should be this -- that so many Americans were, for the first time since Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country has always been filled with evangelicals -- that is not news. What IS news is that so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In fact, that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the ones who brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about November 2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element of surprise in 2008.
Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me yesterday, "My Romanian grandfather used to say to me, 'Remember, Morton, this is such a wonderful country -- it doesn't even need a president!'"
But it needs us. Rest up, I'll write you again tomorrow.
Yours,
Michael Moore MMFlint@aol.com www.michaelmoore.com
To Michael:
Listen up Cheeseburger boy. We make the food. You eat the food.
And, he's laughing all the way to the bank knowing how he fooled all the libs. who gobbled up all his propaganda! He's a real clever snake oil salesman!!
Bill Clinton 44,908,254.
George Bush 39,102,343
H. Ross Perot 19,741,065
This is why Moore's claim is deceitful, and not pertinent.
This fat piece of shit should be strung up from a tree immediately.He has brought nothing but poison to the debate with his lies and outright fraud.I hope the president acts with way more aggression towards his enemies who have been at his throat since day one.He's in a strong position right now and since the liberal rats are going to call him their worst nightmare he mind as well become the real deal.They will fold like a cheap chair under Moore's big fat ass if president Bush bitch slaps them.Let's roll Mr. President it's time to kick ass and take name later.
I think the country is headed in the wrong direction as long as people like Mooreon get so much face-time. That's why the question "do you think we are headed in the right direction" is so utterly useless--half of the respondents think Bush wasn't conservative enough, but weren't so bonkers as to vote for Kerry.
Right.
Hey now...Teddy Roosevelt was no liberal, not by a long shot.
Just shows Moore hasn't learned a thing. As for so many voting for Kerry, well you have the conservative black minority vote, which still holds its nose, and votes for Democrats out of loyalty and fear that their civil rights will be taken away from them by same party that pushed hardest for them in the first place. That pillar of the Democratic party will eventually fall and eventually a more equitable split will occur, the Hispanics will trend more and more Republican over time and so will Catholics and devote Christians and Orthodox Jews. You still have some union households that hold their nose and vote their wallet so that liberals like Kerry can take more out of it I suppose. Then you have single women and unmarried men who for some reason fear an end to their self-centered party and their right to have abortion on demand and free “love”, God forbid someone threaten their Euro-yuppie lifestyles. Thankfully most of those two classes along with all the kids under 30 grow up. Growing up creates conservatives more often than liberals. Liberals have fewer children than conservatives and as long as conservatives continue to reclaim and build centers of learning and media those kids will grow up well educated and yes conservative. Liberals only win when conservatives are silent and up until Goldwater and then Reagan conservatives in the 19th century had been dwindling in power. Ideas of truth and honor were lost on a new generation of drug-crazed children who till this day many have never grown up. The same children equate sexual fetishes of all kinds with the protections of freedom of speech and civil rights without the sense to realize how soiled the backs of those upon who they march, who faced real discrimination, not because of their selfish need to force upon public society their sexual proclivities but because of the color of their skin. Moore can be assured that as he did well to rally his cynical paranoid troops to the polls, he also rallied their betters those who love this country and do not look to Europe and the UN for validation, those that do not look to government as a primary source of wealth and success, those who don't look down on those who have had success with disdain and envy eager to strip them of it, those who love children unborn or not, those who believe that marriage is best defined as being between a man and a woman. I believe Moore has a sickness, a mental illness of sorts, he sees life through sludge colored glasses, which turn ruthless dictators into Pollyanna purveyors of free healthcare and terrorists into poor misunderstood youths who are victims of western capitalism and if only Israel were gone all would be peaceful and wonderful in the Middle East. I can only hope that he keeps himself firmly locked in the rubber room of his mind.
'Tis interesting, tho, to look at The 'Toon's first election in 1992. His margin of -14 percentage points relative to the non-'Toon vote is exceeded only by Wilson's first election in 1912 (-16 percentage points) and Lincoln's first election in 1860 (-20 percentage points) since the Republican Party first fielded a presidential candidate, Fremont, in 1856.
bump
Good old delusional Michael. When life gives you lemons, make lemon kool-aid!
Truman had a 4.4% margin of victory. Bush's is very close to that, and we don't know the final tally yet.
At any rate, this column is putting lipstick on a pig.
incumbant, Kennedy wasn't an incombant.
Wilson's percentages of the popular vote in 1912 and 1916 very nearly match Clinton's in 1992 and 1996. Neither of them ever won an outright majority of the popular vote.
He saw a need to put limits on laissez-faire capitalism, to protect the environment, to look beyond our borders to the wider world. He and Oliver Wendell Holmes created a very activist Supreme Court. He was a favorite of the working man.
One can argue that he did all this because the great business leaders of the time were far-seeing and realized that all this was in their interest too. That's probably true as well.
Dear Michael Moore,
You were ineffective, barred from stage by Kerry, laughed at by more people that you will ever know.
But then again, you laughed all the way to the bank. What a capitalist you are and what sheep your "fans" are not to see it.
To the second biggest Miserypimp on the planet, "I laugh at your superior intellect".*
*Captain James T Kirk - The Wrath of Kahn
Bwahahahahah
Once again, a leftist pig reveals his true, racist nature without even knowing he has done so.
More than likely true. However note the word win. Incumbents like Carter, Bush I, etc. lost in their relection bids.
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