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David Letterman's Top Ten List: John Kerry Excuses
CBS ^ | 11/4/04 | David Letterman

Posted on 11/04/2004 12:28:31 PM PST by Cableguy

Top Ten John Kerry Excuses

10. Voters were in a fever-induced haze because they couldn't get flu shots.

9. Floridians confused by shockingly unconfusing ballots.

8. Maybe it wasn't best idea to begin speeches with "yo mama is so fat" jokes.

7. The endorsement from Osama Bin Laden didn't exactly help him.

6. "Dude--it's the Curse of the Bambino."

5. Should've campaigned more in New Mexico, less in regular Mexico.

4. Turns out voters think it's hot that Cheney has a lesbian daughter.

3. Thought America was ready for a lunatic first lady.

2. Voters seem to really like a weak economy and a badly-run war.

1. Was distracted by late night erotic phone calls from Bill O'Reilly.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: davidletterman; kerrydefeat
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To: LZ_Bayonet
May be the most misunderestimated factor in the election.

TERESA: TEACHING ISN'T A 'REAL JOB' - NRO Kerry Spot ^
  Posted by newgeezer to biblewonk
On News/Activism ^ 10/21/2004 9:55:35 AM CDT · 302 of 304 ^

What a f'ing b*tch. When sKerry loses, he can lay some of the blame squarely on the b*tch he married. (If he loses by a point or two, he can justifiably blame it entirely on her.)

If he should happen to win, I hope we can look forward to airborne lamps in the White House again.


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;O)
21 posted on 11/04/2004 1:09:23 PM PST by newgeezer (Just my opinion, of course. Your mileage may vary. You have the right to be wrong.)
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To: newgeezer

C'mon! Does anyone here really think Letterman is funny?


22 posted on 11/04/2004 1:11:35 PM PST by rjsclassics
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To: Cableguy

They are funny, most of them, but a little, uh, bitter. Dave needs to lighten up.


23 posted on 11/04/2004 1:11:45 PM PST by fortunecookie (My grandparents didn't flee communism so that I could live in Kerry's Kommune - and I won't have to.)
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To: rjsclassics

Funny how?


24 posted on 11/04/2004 1:23:34 PM PST by Ragnorak
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To: sarasota

"2. Voters seem to really like a weak economy and a badly-run war."

This was "The Daily Shows" them last night as well.
more "elite" BS, like they know it all.


25 posted on 11/04/2004 1:33:43 PM PST by fhlh (polls are for topless dancers)
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To: sarasota

"2. Voters seem to really like a weak economy and a badly-run war."

This was "The Daily Shows" theme last night as well.
more "elite" BS, like they know it all.


26 posted on 11/04/2004 1:33:49 PM PST by fhlh (polls are for topless dancers)
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To: Darth Reagan

ping


27 posted on 11/04/2004 1:34:48 PM PST by marblehead17 (I love it when a plan comes together.)
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To: fhlh

John Stewart was all about how bad the economy was and a badly run war, but people turned out for Bush because they hate two men kissing.


28 posted on 11/04/2004 1:36:55 PM PST by tndarlin
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To: fhlh

#3 is the only that makes sense for me. And it's true.


29 posted on 11/04/2004 1:37:45 PM PST by ChicagoRighty (Surrounded by libbies and damn tired of it!)
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To: tndarlin

Used to watch The Daily Show but Stewart has decided to go so blatantly lib that it's now unpalatable.

Stewart's getting older and he's never going to get that prime late night Talk Show slot anymore. His bitterness is starting to leak out into the show.


30 posted on 11/04/2004 1:46:26 PM PST by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: PBRSTREETGANG

I watched just to see what he would say last night. Talk about delusional, he and Schumer were so far off about why Bush won.


31 posted on 11/04/2004 1:51:08 PM PST by tndarlin
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To: sarasota
#2 is lame.

Especially considering it was the best pre-election economic growth in a generation.

32 posted on 11/04/2004 2:12:43 PM PST by Fredgoblu
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To: LZ_Bayonet

Yep, #3 is my fave too.

Let's all breathe a sign of relief that Mrs. Kerry, the HildaBeast to the 3rd power, will NEVER set foot in the White House. I think I'll go celebrate with a few gin-soaked raisins...


33 posted on 11/04/2004 2:57:59 PM PST by RockAgainsttheLeft04 ("America...F**K YEAH !" -Team America: World Police)
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To: fhlh

It has just gotten old listening to those clowns spin. I wish their heads would pop off.


34 posted on 11/04/2004 5:20:27 PM PST by sarasota
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To: Fredgoblu

Say it loud and say it long and maybe the sheeple will believe it. That's the Dem playbook.


35 posted on 11/04/2004 5:21:29 PM PST by sarasota
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To: Cableguy

i know, i'm the only person who things letterman is as funny as a tree stump. this stuff just falls flat. letterman ain't no carson. he's the "comedian" of people who think REM is cool instead of as hip as soda water.


36 posted on 11/04/2004 5:27:39 PM PST by the invisib1e hand (if a man lives long enough, he gets to see the same thing over and over.)
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To: Boundless
Did you suppose that Letterman was happy with the election outcome?

Unlike most of the people here I wouldn't be prepared to bet the farm Letterman is against Bush

I'd go so far to as to wager a day's beer money he isn't.

His digs at Bush have been more sympathetic than the ones against Kerry.

His "George Bush pretends to be interested" segment of some local narrating an Abe Simpson boring story to the President can even be seen as supportive.

And we have the testimony of a Freeper who attended the show interview taping that Dave was less than enraptured by Kerry.

37 posted on 11/04/2004 10:34:06 PM PST by Oztrich Boy (They have a saying in Chicago Mr Bond once happenstance, twice coincidence, three times enemy action)
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