Posted on 11/04/2004 6:10:34 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife
"S o a teacher in a small town asks her class how many of them are George Bush fans. Not really knowing what a George Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy. The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says, 'I'm not a George Bush fan.'
"The teacher asks, 'Why aren't you a George Bush fan?'
"Johnny says, 'I'm a John Kerry fan.'
"The teacher asks why he's a John Kerry fan. The boy says, 'Well, my mom's a John Kerry fan and my dad's a John Kerry fan, so I'm a John Kerry fan!'
"The teacher is kind of angry, so she asks, 'What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?'
"And Johnny says, 'That would make me a George Bush fan.' "
A friend and Bush critic sent me this yuk-yuk sometime last spring. I laughed and told him I'd save his Bush-is-a-moron joke since I was sure he and his Bush-bashing buddies would need some major cheering up come Election Day. It's tough to lose a big election. It must be especially tough to lose a big election to someone your superior self considers an idiot.
Over the past four years, "Bush is a moron" has become a kind of cottage industry -- joke logs and the "Somewhere in Texas a village is missing an idiot" bumper sticker -- and some of the sweetest, most sensible people I know have bought into this bum rap. Delaware Democratic Sen. Joe Biden took things to a new low, really, when he said recently that Bush "is brain dead." They all might need a good joke this week.
Then again, they might reconsider their whole Bush-is-a-moron shtick. Not only would this in some small way help restore a measure of civility to our prickly public life, but it would also show a decent respect for another individual and the office of the presidency.
Furthermore, it would have the added benefit of comporting with reality -- always a plus in life if not politics.
In addition to achieving a substantial record of governance, Bush has taken on the Democratic Party's stars -- Texas Gov. Ann Richards, Vice President Al Gore and Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry -- and won. And after this Election Day, critics won't be able to cite one of the main sources of their unseemly bitterness over the past four years: the notion that Bush somehow stole the White House. Bush racked up an impressive re-election victory in some of the toughest political circumstances imaginable (Iraq, for starters). He won the popular vote by almost 4 million ballots. He became the first president since his father, George H.W. Bush, to win a majority of the popular vote. And his Republican Party gained seats in the House and Senate. Bush achieved all this while advancing a clear, meaty governing agenda.
Maybe Bush-bashers can chalk up all these Bush accomplishments to super-sharp political advisers -- Karl Rove, "Bush's brain," and other imagined Dubya puppeteers -- or the stupidity of the voters, but at some point even the harshest critic will have to acknowledge that Bush himself has a lot to do with all this success.
Certainly, efforts to reunite and tone down the divisiveness need to take place on both sides. Kerry made a noble move in this direction Wednesday -- not so much by what he said, which was gracious enough, but by what he did in refusing to contest the Ohio vote. The Democratic candidate's supporters could contribute by knocking off the Bush-is-a-moron garbage.
As for the republic's unreconstructed, sour Bush-bashers, here's another joke:
"Don Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney and George Bush go into a bar. Rumsfeld orders first. 'I'll have a B and C.'
"The bartender asks, 'What's a B and C?'
" 'Bourbon and Coke,' Rumsfeld says.
"Cheney orders. 'And I'll have a G and T.'
"The bartender asks, 'What's a G and T?'
" 'Gin and tonic,' Cheney replies.
"Dubya wants to be cute, too. He says, 'I'll have a 15.'
"The bartender asks, 'What's a 15?'
"Dubya says, 'A 7 and 7.' "
You get it: George W. Bush can't count!
Except, of course, to 279 -- as in 279 electoral votes and counting . . .
David Reinhard, associate editor, can be reached at 503-221-8152 or davidreinhard@news.oregonian.com.
Which reminds me, one of the many stupid things which CBS and the Kerry campaign managed to accomplish was run ads for a couple weeks showing a young and film star handsome George W. Bush in the cockpit of his plane. Before this, most people thought his National Guard service probably consisted of being selected to date one of Nixon's daughters (which, by the way, he also did).
Yes, the smart candidate chose Bob Schrum to manage his campaign, someone who had a lengthy un-broken record of failure.
They portrayed Reagan as a stupid man and a lightweight who surrounded himself with smart people and 'handlers'. Yet everyone of those smart people when they wrote their books praised Reagan’s intelligence, leadership and insight.
It's tough being kicked out of power.
They need a few decades in the wilderness to become civilized.
Isn't it delicious?
LOL
Contrary to my usual custom, I watched the late night comics last night to see if they were as saddened as Katie Couric and Company.
Letterman did a man-on-the-street "poll". The last question to an assortment of losers on the NYC street was "Are you smarter than George Bush?" Of course, they all said "yes" except the last guy.
I found there delusional thinking amusing. Most of them probably had trouble graduating from high school. Some, I'm sure, didn't make it. I would guess that none of them had a Harvard MBA. I would also guess that they probably had an IQ's well under 120 (probably collectively).
Anyway, she used the typical Bush-is-stupid line and I responded that "At least he's not a former KGB agent." She said, "Well, those people are smart." And I realized that Europeans don't elect prime ministers and presidents and chancellors, they elect kings.
Really, they think of them as emperors and they look for the wisest, most intelligent ones they can find. This is why they don't get offended when they have affairs, especially with subordinates. This is why they blame or credit the POTUS with everything that happens, down to the actions of one particular soldier. This is why they think the Patriot Act will end people's freedoms even if they never have.
Americans elect somebody to do a job. A guy to wear a suit. If Chirac were to take to wearing a crown, Europe wouldn't blink. Mitterand having mistress after mistress was just a perk of office.
We don't want somebody who's too smart. If he's smart, he's usually arrogant and that means he'll try to overstep his bounds. And we run the show. We would rather have somebody honest and transparent and predictable than smart but ungrounded. Also, Americans see through the trappings of intellectualism. Vocabulary and wonkish memory are no substitutes for critical thinking and decision-making. Bush's great skill is his ability to select and motivate people. That's it. And that's the only skill that's necessary to run the executive branch.
I wish I were a columnist, I would expand on this theme.
Wow. That is pretty sad. On a side note: The Republcans pick up 4 Senate seats and all the MSM can do is swoon over Obama.
As observed on FOX this a.m., the Dems paid a hearty price to come up with only Obama and New Hampshire.
I heard a good stroy last night. My sister sends her kids to a Catholic school. Probaly the oldest and best in Vegas. The kids(second grade) in one room had a vote and it was 24 for W and 4 for Kerry.
Maybe. And people who are relaxed, happy, and content with their lives tend to gravitate to small towns where they can enjoy life and when they die, know that others will care and know they will be missed.
I lived in a city for 30 years and love being out. I guess I've been dumbed down.
Carter never said he was smarter than Ford, only holier and more devout. Eisenhower was probably smarter than Adlai, but never wore his brain on his sleeve.
Late in the campaign, in one of those priceless "gotcha" moments, a reporter asked John sKerry about his military intelligence test score results. sKerry looked stunned as the reporter revealed that the test scores of George Bush were HIGHER than sKerry's. sKerry responded by saying "I didn't know that the results had been made public", and he walked away. sKerry then turned around, walked back to the repoter and said "I must have gotten drunk the night before I took the test".
This is a true story, and it shows alot about the character of John sKerry, doesn't it??
Sadly, it's human nature to think the worst.
Great post.
That's why, in their eyes, Kerry would have been perfect.
Life in Mayberry is good!
Smart kids!
That would be news to Teresa who says he doesn't drink, "He's boring that way."
Thanks. I can see Kerry as a Hapsburg.
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