Iowahawk: Iraq Explosives Easily Moved By 'World's Strongest Man' Contestants

Iowahawk blog | 10/27/04 | Dave Burge

[IowaHawk]

A new scientific study by the French Ministry of Sport and Jejune Ennui reported today that the 380 tons of high explosives missing from an Iraqi site "could have easily been looted by a team of specially trained burly Scandanavian strongmen with 'roid rage.'"

In a controlled experiment broadcast at 3AM on ESPN-6, researchers determined that a team of 12 Euro champions were able to move over 415 tons of explosives, packaged as granite boulders and Volvo semi trucks, in less than 20 minutes with commercial breaks.

The study casts new doubt on NBC News claims that deadly RDX explosives had already been moved by the time US soldiers arrived at a suspected site in Al-Qaqaa, and that removing the materials would have been difficult with a US military presence.

"Ya yiminy, Olaf move the heavy bombs," said Icelandic team member Olaf Magnussnnarddsson, who suffered a minor hernia and a burst temple vein in the experiment.

An independent study by physicists at FermiLab reached similar conclusions, noting that "extrapolating from the hit 1961 single 'Sixteen Tons,' the entire arms cache could have been lifted in only 23.8 Tennessee Ernie Ford-Days, with a minor increase in debt to the Company store."

[IowaHawk]

for more late-breaking October surprises, click here

[rocksblues]

OK, IowaHawk you have figured out how I did it!

[alcuin]

who suffered a minor hernia and a burst temple vein in the experiment.<<
This will never happen, again, under The Pumpkin's watch.
ALL allies (many MANY new ones!) will lift their full share.
A Coalition of the Lifting.

[Smartaleck]

Breaking on the DU....it was not "burly Scandanavian strongmen" as previously reported but indeed, hold overs from the East German Olympic Swimming team.

In an exclusive by Kerry sycophants, Hans "the slippery slope" Blix reported that the Scans were a bunch of whimps and only the former East Germs could accomplish such. His report to the UN Committee on minutia and other inconsequential BS would be forthcoming.

In other related news stories, Bush while hefting the tons of BS heaped upon his campaign by the NYTimes and other media elites exuded a large amount of anal gas.

Kerry questioned the timing of the flatulence and intoned, "when I'm President there will be no missing Boston Baked Bean looting on my watch."

Economist Krugman of the NYTimes incanted that the Bush administration once again over inflated the economy and questioned Bush on the minimal effects that the anal exhaust would have on global warming and the price of tea in China.

[WarEagle]

LOL! Great to see your post.