Screwtape #21: Your Fraud Matters

To: Democratic leaders in Metropolitan areas in California, Illinois, Massachusetts, and New York

With a little more than a week until election day, you may think that your fraudulent activities will make no difference in this election. After all Massachusetts has no Senate Race and those in California, Illinois, and New York are well in hand. Why bother risking criminal prosecution in order to cast fraudulent votes that will not matter towards the final outcome.

This is a good question. While for our immediate goals, I'll concede that fraudulent activity in places such as Florida and Ohio will have a greater impact. I've been amazed by the courageous brazenness of the fraud in Ohio. Having counties in which more people are registered to vote than are believed to be eligible, and filing a lawsuit to force the state to open the door to fraud by allowing a person to vote at the wrong precinct (I knew one gentleman who would have voted 19 different times at different precincts if not for the activist judge that overturned the lower court's ruling) shows a fearless audacity I respect.

I've been disturbed by the attempt of some to use Marijuana to procure fraudulent voter registrations. Even if you're not caught registering phony voters, the Marijuana possession could have dire consequences. I recommend beer and cigarettes as payment in these cases. Also, to minimize costs, don't be picky about the brands. Watered-down beer and cheap cigarettes work as well as a fine imports and expensive cigars.

But, I digress. Even though fraud in your states is unlikely to sway the vote, it could have a great consequence if Bush were to somehow win this election and Kerry won the popular vote. In 1888, Benjamin Harrison won the Presidency while losing the popular vote. It took 112 years for Bush to do it again. Americans are conservative as they are loathe to change institutions that are working just fine. If the popular and electoral votes disagreed for 2 straight elections, there would then be a more serious move to get rid of the electoral college.

The abolition of the electoral college would be a boon for those of you in urban areas. In many areas of our cities, 10-30% of the people even bother to vote. However, with some additional enticements and fraud on your part, you could move that number up to greatly affect how much influence you have. If, once we have rid America of the electoral college, we set up a National Primary system, can you imagine the influence you'd wield?

No presidential candidate would be seen in rural hick towns in places like Iowa and Missouri. The campaign would be conducted in sky-rises of the largest cities. You, the local Democratic officials would be the kingmakers, able to build up or destroy a presidency with a single word. Imagine what this would mean for the cause of the environment or gun control. New York and California have more potential votes than the entire Rocky Mountain West. We could do what we like with these backward states and they would have no recourse against us.

If you're tired of Presidents groveling before farmers, and televangelists, now is your chance to rise up to become the most powerful people in our nation by committing voter fraud on such a scale as it has never been before seen in American history.

What about the risk of prosecution? What about the threat of exposure and scandal? Fear not. The Republicans have no spine on this issue.

In 1996, a large tide of non-voters helped Loretta Sanchez defeat right wing Congressman Bob Dornan and in that same year, Mary Landrieu defeated Woody Jenkins by 5,000 votes. In both cases, each man came forward with credible evidence of fraud. The Senate dismissed Jenkins case in short order. The Dornan matter remained pending before Congress for some time, but in the end the Republicans decided to certify that Sanchez won the race, albeit by a smaller number. Like Solomon, the Republicans decided to cut the baby in half, but Dornan was just as much out of Congress as if they had done nothing. They didn't want to appear ungracious, divisive, or racist, so in both cases, they preferred to be good losers rather than looking into the issues fully.

In 2000, there were allegations of irregularities in the defeat of Senator John Ashcroft (R-Mo.) and the Republicans decided not to pursue them because they didn't want to be poor sports. In the State of Wisconsin, there were allegations of voter fraud and vote buying (with cigarettes and beer NOT marijuana) and the Republicans chose not to contest the election because the votes didn't matter for the final outcome.

Finally, in 2002, Rep. John Thune (R-SD) lost his Senate race because of voting irregularities on the Indian reservations. Thune decided to accept defeat so he could enter his current race against Senator Tom Daschle (D-SD) rather than challenge the fraud and hurt his political chances in the current race.

The point of all this is that Republicans will allow us to get away with voter fraud because they don't want to be seen as sore losers. This is why Republicans in the long run are not suited to be a Majority party. I remember in 1984 when Indiana certified a Republican had won a Congressional seat and we held hearings, the end result of which was that we declared Rep. Frank X. McCloskey (D) re-elected by 4 votes. We didn't care what Republicans or the media thought of us, we got our guy seated.

The Republican leadership has sent a very clear message to its grassroots over the years: We'd rather be seen as nice than win. As a consultant, it'll be a cold day in hell before I let one of my candidates allow Republican voter fraud deny us an election victory. First of all, voter fraud is our job. Secondly, if I were to do that, what message would I be sending to all the campaign volunteers who worked so hard? "Sorry, we'll let the Republicans rob you of well-earned victories." I'd be telling voters for my candidate that they might as well not have bothered showing up because their candidate and their party doesn't have the will to fight to guarantee their right to vote. Republicans may call us sore losers, but don't they can't call us fools and cowards when it comes to fighting elections. We'd rather be poor winners than good losers and that's why we will be the majority party again.

For the most effective voter fraud, cast fraudulent votes in minority precincts. Republicans are more afraid of being called racist than anything else. We've sent a clear message to the Republicans in years past: we have the race card and we're not afraid to use it.

As always, the watchword is "don't get caught." Hopefully, we can all have a celebration at my place with some good beer sometime after the election.

The Screwtape Report is written by Adam Graham. The Screwtape Report is written from a Democratic perspective by a conservative in order to reveal Democratic strategy and thinking. To read more Screwtape Reports, visit http://adamsweb.us/screwtape.html

>>>Note: The following is satire. <<<

He may think it is satire - I think it is barely concealed thoughts and actions of the Democrat party.

Satire that unfortunately pegs the Republican party as just what they are - spineless jellyfish that much prefer to lose than be called a BAD name by some Democrat crook.

Don't mind this take-off from C.S. Lewis's "The Screwtape Letters" but would like to see credit given where credit is due to Lewis.

Certainly appropriate that the Democrat plays the role of the demon Screwtape.

If every state had equal number of electoral votes to cast, this BS would be OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Credit is given to Lewis on the frontpage of "The Screwtape Reports" (http://adamsweb.us/screwtape.html)

Hardly seems necessary to do so on every single report.

If every state had an equal number of electoral votes to cast, the Rat billionaire club would have bought the Western states already.

The issue that those willing to allow fraud miss, is that they are not only allowing someone to vote more than once for KERRY, but are allowing them to vote more than once for EVERY OFFICE, including State Supreme Court,Appeals Court, Circuit Judges,Associate Circuit Judges. In the case of these offices, the answer is only YES or NO to keep them in office. Not a Democrat/Republican issue.

There are taxes,QUESTIONS, Constitutional amendments.

People vary more on these issues, especially Democrats.

So, if you support fraud because the ends justifies the means, you are getting more than you bargained for.

There are taxes,QUESTIONS, Constitutional amendments.

People vary more on these issues, especially Democrats.

So, if you support fraud because the ends justifies the means, you are getting more than you bargained for.

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