"If Bush Wins, I'm..."

SF Weekly ^ | October 16, 2004 | John Mecklin

[L.N. Smithee]

What will we do if George W. Bush is re-elected in three weeks? Dog Bites doesn't know, but surely Google must. We searched for the phrase "If Bush wins, I'm ...." From the 450 or so hits that were returned, here's what we learned:

"if Bush wins I'm going to be living with some very unhappy Brazilians."

"If Bush wins I'm gonna get drunk, drive over to the states and drop a great big dump in the middle of the peace bridge."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to attempt to bring down the US government and replace it with a freely-elected democracy."

"if Bush wins, I'm outta here. Canada or NZ, wherever I can go, I'll go."

"if Bush wins I'm not going to be hopelessly defeated."

"if bush wins, i'm definately going to canada."

"If Bush wins (I'm not saying again), I'll chalk it up on my big 'Reasons to Commit Suicide in The Modern World' List."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to South America!"

"If bush wins, I'm jumping the fence to mexico."

"If Bush wins, I'm hoping you'll stand with us in our rebellion against this Bush dictatorship."

"If Bush wins, I'm never going to hear the end of it from my friends."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving back to the UK."

"if bush wins, I'm throwing the biggest fit in the world and then using my lifesavings to move to canada!!!"

"If Bush wins i'm moving to New Zealand, oh wait, i'm already here, suckers."

"if Bush wins, I'm joining up."

"if Bush wins I'm going to leave the country."

"if Bush wins, I'm going to be looking for a new country to call home."

"If Bush wins, I'm gonna be really loud (in my unimportant way)."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving out of the United States cause of Bush."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to the Washington Mall."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving back to Canada ... or maybe to Christine's neighborhood."

"if Bush wins I'm not jumping out a 20 story window."

"if Bush wins, I'm off to New Zealand to live with Rob and Kirsty."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Australia, and I've already got the paperwork started."

"If Bush wins, I'm seriously going back to college outside the US."

"if bush wins, i'm moving to canada..."

"If Bush wins I'm holding everyone who didn't vote for Kerry accountable, especially those who know better."

"if bush wins..i'm gonna be the happiest person alive and i'm going to be so proud to be american...haha GO BUSH!!!!!"

"If Bush wins I'm going to have to summon all the equanimity that Buddhism offers."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada..."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Germany."

"if Bush wins (I'm not voting for either of these a-holes), I r-e-a-l-l-y want Hillary to run for President in 2008, so that she can finally have a stake driven through her political career."

"If Bush wins, I'm pretty certain that we will go after Iran and/or Syria next (Iran more likely)."

"If Bush wins, I'm leaving."

"If Bush wins, I'm gone."

"if Bush wins, I'm burning my passport on the embassy steps and pleaing for asylum, anyone care to join me?"

"If Bush wins, I'm holding Nader and Patti responsible."

"if bush wins, i'm moving out of the country ... preferably to england."

"If Bush wins I'm thinking 2008 will be the battle of the women."

"if Bush wins, I'm terrified at how the liberal minded will react. I hope not violently."

"If Bush wins, I'm gonna start drinking!"

"If Bush wins I'm off to Canada -- don't think I can cope with Dubaya for another 4 years."

"if bush wins i'm not going to leave holland."

"if Bush wins, I'm removing myself from the voter rolls."

"If Bush wins, I'm still crossing my fingers, except this time hoping he doesn't launch a worldwide blitzkrieg or something."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to San Miguel de Allende Mexico."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Switzerland."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada. Eh?"

"If Bush wins I'm moving to North Korea."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to make like a cicada and hide under the bed for four years."

"If Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada and requesting political asylum."

"If Bush wins, I'm sure the angels will rejoice -- there will be thousands of lives saved, more God-fearing laws, less liberal influence, etc."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Canada!"

"if Bush wins, I'm willing to stay if the Democrats break the GOP hold on Congress."

"if Bush wins I'm moving out of the country."

"if bush wins, i'm moving to canada or australia!"

"If Bush wins, I'm packing up my stuff and heading to Canada."

"if Bush wins, I'm lighting up just because, well...f--- it."

"If Bush wins, I'm leaving the country. That simple."

"If bush wins, I'm moving to Connecticut cause America will be done for."

"If Bush wins, I'm up $1,000."

"If Bush wins, I'm not going to cause a riot but will handle myself with poise and tactfully smile."

"if bush wins, i'm having a re-count riot party."

"If Bush wins I'm considering moving to another country."

"If Bush wins I'm staying inside my fallout shelter for 4 years."

"If Bush wins I'm hoping (and do feel it is plausible) for a 60/40 split."

"if Bush wins I'm sure Christian institutions will continue to receive a hell of a lot more money than they previously had."

"if Bush wins, I'm staying until 2005."

"If Bush wins, I'm afraid I'll have to become a tad more militant."

"if Bush wins I'm moving out of the country."

"if bush wins I'm moving to canada."

"if Bush wins, I'm going to need to be able to tell myself that I did everything humanly possible to prevent it."

"If Bush wins, I'm happy."

"if bush wins, I'm starting a revolution."

"if Bush wins I'm guessing Dick Cheney will run for Prez and maybe Hilary will run."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Germany."

"if Bush wins, I'm going to grab two or three of my stinky freinds, find the busiest intersection I can find and picket with slogans such as 'Bush = War Hero' and 'George Bush was Elected.'"

"if Bush wins I'm not going to be able to stand it online enduring another 4 years of liberal *****ing about every single little pissant issue or news story."

"If Bush wins, I'm hopeful we'll take the gloves off and finally start kicking some Islamic ass."

"if Bush wins I'm the front-runner in '08."

"If Bush wins I'm moving to Cuba."

"If Bush wins I'm blaming it on your state!"

"if Bush wins I'm afraid that America is a lost cause."

"if Bush wins, I'm not going anyplace colder than here!"

"If Bush wins, I'm shooting the redeemer in my sig at the White House as soon as he's reinagurated."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada."

"If Bush wins, I'm hoping for chaos in the states."

"if bush wins, i'm killing EVERYBODY."

"If Bush Wins, I'm Going Underground."

"If Bush wins ... I'm leaving with the Baldwins."

"If Bush wins I'm going to riot."

"If Bush wins, I'm very scared for the US and the world..."

"If Bush wins, I'm going to kill myself."

"if Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada."

"if Bush wins, i'm nuking the USA myself. i only thought i'd give you fair warning."

"If Bush wins I'm going to Disneyland." (Tommy Craggs)

[Smedley]

They hate America already - so why stick around?

Two words : Welfare Check

[Bellflower]

If Kerry wins, I will pull my money out of the market.....

You and how many other people.

[ApesForEvolution]

When Bush wins, I'm prepared to face Civil War forced by the RATS ... and win.

[ARCADIA]

Sounds like Canada is going to be full of our leftist refugees...

Canada is already full of lefty refugees...whats a few more?

[mbennett203]

"I'm gonna hold those people to those promises."

Especially the commie bastards wanting to start a "revolution." Go ahead kids, we'll clean it up in a week.

[ApesForEvolution]

They hate America already - so why stick around?

For the best FREE RIDE in the world baby! /disgust

[FairOpinion]

My search parameters were "If Bush wins" which is the same as what the article claims they used.

[plushaye]

"If Bush wins, I will collapse onto my knees and thank God.

And then I am going to go color my gray hairs."

I couldn't have said it better myself. Somewhere between the two I'm going to burst into tears of joy.

[Smokin' Joe]

Try Here: Free Dominion

[ApesForEvolution]

I could take a month, with a hunt for domestic RAT terrorists taking much longer...but it'd be worth it.

For those of you Patriots up in the Great NW, save us some ELF to hunt...

[ClearBlueSky]

WHEN Bush wins I'm going to thank God first, then I'm splurging on champagne and chocolate and getting a good night's sleep!

[Smokin' Joe]

Opps, Let's try again: Free Dominion

[FairOpinion]

When you put in the article's title you get NOTHING.

Your search - "if Bush wins I'm" - did not match any documents.


And when you put in "if Bush wins" you get a lot of stuff, but none of it is what the article claims.

[Boiler Plate]

Sounds like if Bush wins the economic situation for the US will brighten exponentially and Canada is going to have even more freeloaders to worry about.

[NetSurfer]

Put in this:

"If Bush Wins, I'm..."

and then tell me what comes up.

[mykroar]

"If Bush wins, I'm moving out of the United States cause of Bush."

You're not an English Major, are you???

Actually, he/she/it probably is.

:o)

[Simmy2.5]

Every time I think about Civil War, I keep thinking about that crazed nut, ummmm...I mean Time Traveler Jim Titor. In one of his 'supposed' predictions, America would collapse into a Civil War between the free Rural people (I assume conservatives), against the Urban lazy people (liberals). We won apparently (if it wasn't for the fact that I live in the city...).

This supposed Civil War was supposed to start in 2004, but we won't know we are fighting it until much later. I still think that is ludicrous. However, given how violent these liberals are becoming, the possibility is becoming frighteningly possible.

[FairOpinion]

I told you. See my post 93.

Obviously you didn't try anything yourself.

[Deb]

Wouldn't this be a joyful, rhapsodic and totally red, white and blue country if everyone who voted for Kerry left the country?

Happy, happy, joy, joy!!!

[NetSurfer]

Here is what came up when I did it. I got 584 responses and there are many of the ones that are listed.

National Post
... canada.com Entertainment. 'If Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada'. A new brand of US
exiles may be headed our way. Mireille Silcoff. National Post. October 2, 2004 ...
www.canada.com/.../news/artslife/reviewandbooks/ story.html?id=2cbcd537-595b-4f02-9067-b4715c0aa191 - 30k - Cached - Similar pages

If Bush get's elected, I'll leave the country...
... here for at least four years." Robert Altman - "If George Bush is elected president,
I'm leaving for France." Pierre Salinger - "If Bush wins, I'm going to ...
www.manbottle.com/humor/If_Bush_ get_s_elected,_I_ll_leave_the_country....htm - 13k - Cached - Similar pages

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Inboxer Rebellion (Star Trek)
... Georgetowner newspaper. "If Bush wins, I'm going to leave the country and
spend the rest of my life in France.". Similar promises ...
www.snopes.com/inboxer/outrage/leave.htm - 20k - Cached - Similar pages

Star Beacon Daily Weekly NEXT Generation Articles
... Anyways, everyone should really vote for John Kerry. I mean, if Bush wins
I’m going to be living with some very unhappy Brazilians. ...
www.starbeacon.com/index. asp?MC=NEXT&NID=6&AID=6168 - 20k - Cached - Similar pages

Maud Newton: Blog
... I’ve heard “If Bush wins, I’m moving to Canada” many times from my American friends –
but I don’t think anyone should start rounding up cardboard ...
maudnewton.com/blog/index.php?p=4201 - 12k - Cached - Similar pages

Bravenet Web Forum - A Bravenet.com Forum
... "If Bush wins, I'm going to leave the country and spend the rest of my life in France."
Pierre Salinger, at least, reportedly stuck to his guns: In fact, the ...
pub6.bravenet.com/forum/502027364/fetch/372890/ - 14k - Cached - Similar pages

I hope Bush wins. - Politics Forum - Hip Forums
... Quote: Originally Posted by bigbusmike. If Bush wins I'm moving to Canada... Are
they less evil...not nessicarily. Do they hide it better...most definately. ...
hipforums.com/forums/showthread. php?goto=lastpost&t=37171 - 79k - Cached - Similar pages

Oi... here we go with the "If Bush is elected I'm moving..." posts
... Reply to: anon-43628930@craigslist.org Date: 2004-09-25, 10:53PM PDT First of all,
if you're going to post clap-trap such as, "If Bush wins I'm moving..." do ...
seattle.craigslist.org/pol/43628930.html - Similar pages

Smells Like Fish, Tastes Like Chicken » What Will You Do?
... If Kerry wins I’m gonna get drunk! If Bush wins I’m gonna get drunk, drive over
to the states and drop a great big dump in the middle of the peace bridge. ...
www.tekwh0re.net/wp/archives/ 2004/08/29/what-will-you-do/ - 49k - Cached - Similar pages

NEWS: GSC: Demerits not on ballot
... on the oh-so-famous white board the 3-4 responses numerous times: Supreme Court
appointments, abortion, and my personal favorite "if Bush wins, I’m out of ...
www.wesleyan.edu/argus/nov1000/w4.html - 10k - Cached - Similar pages