Where you can't touch a breast, but you can cave in a chest
Where you can't touch a thigh, but you can blacken an eye . . .
Where you see her butt, and her trap stays shut . . .
at the nudie bar!
Where the music stinks, and they water the drinks,
Where the girlies dance in their underpants,
Where a buck's enough to see their stuff,
Where the breasts may be fake but man do they shake,
Where you swear like a sailor, and wish you could nail her,
Where the cops are at the door, and there's a Kennedy on the floor,
Where Christmas is nice And lap dances are half price
Where you drink down the shooters and unwrap the hooters
Where egg nog's a plenty and the girls are all 20
Where the beer gives you gas, but the Bundys kick ass,
...at the nudie bar.