Posted on 10/11/2004 7:55:29 AM PDT by Melpomene
Hours before Rodney Dangerfield died Tuesday, I tried to collect a debt from a buddy, e-mailing him my address. He facetiously thanked me for adding him to my Christmas card list, prompting me to reply, without thinking, "Rocco, Moose, help the judge find his checkbook."
Nothing else needed saying. Young readers and women who still believe Doritos and Budweiser aren't a square meal are scratching their heads right now. But my friend, a middle school classmate of mine when "Caddyshack" opened, understood every syllable.
What I said, in Quotable Guy-Movie Talk, was that yes, my friend Joe will pay me. Or, as Dangerfield's Al Czervik told Ted Knight's Judge Elihu Smails in "Caddyshack," I will send two large goons dressed in plaid pants to his home. Of course, this is all in fun, as the only people who still actually dress like this are newspaper editors.
This is what Rodney Dangerfield, who died Tuesday at age 82 from heart surgery complications, left us men types. He was one of us, partially because of his self-effacing humor, but mostly because, in a weird way, we wanted to be like him.
That's an awfully strange thing to say about a flabby old guy with bulging eyes and no respect. It's just surprising that death got the final line in over Dangerfield.
He was the oldest and one of the few non-"Saturday Night Live" or Monty Python-connected members of the exclusive Quotable Guy-Movie Club. He may have been behind only fellow "Caddyshack" alum Bill Murray ("Big hitter the Lama") in standard go-to lines. While Dangerfield movies "Back to School" and "Easy Money," both rank high in guy lore, "Caddyshack," was the shiny gem -- the bible of guy quotes, an obscenely rich gold mine of dialogue over which men can connect, bond and eventually stain a deck together.
It's still mind-boggling that Dangerfield overshadowed performances of Quotable Guy-Movie Jedi masters Bill Murray and Chevy Chase, whose on-set rivalry sparked the magical improv in the "Can I play through," scene.
Snicker if you want. Look down your nose and eat up more of Woody Allen's highbrow neurosis. Try to convince us that "Mrs. Doubtfire" was funnier with a better plot (as the American Film Institute did when it outrageously decreed there were more than 70 funnier movies than "Caddyshack"). Then find me a real man who quotes Robin Williams around a campfire. I dare you.
For 24 years, Dangerfield's obnoxious tycoon Al Czervik has given men rude one-liners for multiple, complex situations, prompting high-fives from guys and eye-rolling from women. For example:
• Reacting to a stupid hat (or anything ugly, yet purchasable): "When you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?" If the wearer is within earshot, add, sarcastically, "It looks good on you, though."
• To an obnoxious elderly woman: "You must've been something before electricity." It's not recommended anyone use the more drastic "You're a lot of woman, you know that? Wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?"
• To the waiter at a bad restaurant: "This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it."
• To a large-lipped woman: "The last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it."
• When challenging someone to a bet, and they fail miserably: "You can OWE me."
• To poorly behaved children: "Now I know why tigers eat their young."
• To bad dancing by one of more couples: "Whoa -- the dance of the living dead."
• In response to flatulence: "Who stepped on the duck?" (Of course, this was a big one in high school.)
• To the prospect of a big victory party "Hey, we're all gonna get (lucky)."
Then there's the visualize. No real man alive doesn't appreciate Journey's "Any Way You Want It" or Earth Wind and Fire's "Boogie Wonderland" now that we automatically see Dangerfield's cockeyed dancing. Step away from "Caddyshack" briefly and few men can enter a hot tub without seeing Dangerfield come up for air, wearing a mask and snorkel, surrounded by young babes in "Back to School." When one pours his champagne, cooing "Say when," Rodney responds the way most men would want to: "Right after this drink."
Unfortunately for wives everywhere, Dangerfield helped a generation or two of men believe we were funny. He was the ultimate guy, whose one-liners were so good they need no explanation (among guys) 24 years later. Connecting with a Dangerfield line continuously bonds men across race, politics or income. Well, at least it appeals to our shared sense of bad manners, an important male trait constantly underrated in scientific studies.
For that, he'll always have our respect.
"I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I'd get.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!
I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab.
I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!
My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There are so many places they can hide."
I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor. They sent a priest up to talk to me. He said, "On your mark..."
When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me."
RIP
Sir SuziQ was laughing about another of Rodney's 'don't get no respect' one-liners. "My wife told me she wants to have sex in the back seat of the car, but she wants ME to drive!"
This is a rough neighborhood...boy it's rough.. I asked a cop how long it took to get to the bus station, He said,"I don't know, nobodies ever made it"
LOL! Their top two picks have guys dressing as women. What does that tell you about the AFI?
_______________
http://www.afi.com/tvevents/100years/laughs.aspx
The winners are:
1. SOME LIKE IT HOT (1959)
2. TOOTSIE (1982)
3. DR. STRANGELOVE OR: HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE BOMB (1964)
4. ANNIE HALL (1977)
5. DUCK SOUP (1933)
6. BLAZING SADDLES (1974)
7. M*A*S*H (1970)
8. IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT (1934)
9. THE GRADUATE (1967)
10. AIRPLANE! (1980)
11. THE PRODUCERS (1968)
12. A NIGHT AT THE OPERA (1935)
13. YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN (1974)
14. BRINGING UP BABY (1938)
15. THE PHILADELPHIA STORY (1940)
16. SINGIN' IN THE RAIN (1952)
17. THE ODD COUPLE (1968)
18. THE GENERAL (1927)
19. HIS GIRL FRIDAY (1940)
20. THE APARTMENT (1960)
21. A FISH CALLED WANDA (1988)
22. ADAM'S RIB (1949)
23. WHEN HARRY MET SALLY… (1989)
24. BORN YESTERDAY (1950)
25. THE GOLD RUSH (1925)
26. BEING THERE (1979)
27. THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY (1998)
28. GHOSTBUSTERS (1984)
29. THIS IS SPINAL TAP (1984)
30. ARSENIC AND OLD LACE (1944)
31. RAISING ARIZONA (1987)
32. THE THIN MAN (1934)
33. MODERN TIMES (1936)
34. GROUNDHOG DAY (1993)
35. HARVEY (1950)
36. NATIONAL LAMPOON'S ANIMAL HOUSE (1978)
37. THE GREAT DICTATOR (1940)
38. CITY LIGHTS (1931)
39. SULLIVAN'S TRAVELS (1941)
40. IT'S A MAD MAD MAD MAD WORLD (1963)
41. MOONSTRUCK (1987)
42. BIG (1988)
43. AMERICAN GRAFFITI (1973)
44. MY MAN GODFREY (1936)
45. HAROLD AND MAUDE (1972)
46. MANHATTAN (1979)
47. SHAMPOO (1975)
48. A SHOT IN THE DARK (1964)
49. TO BE OR NOT TO BE (1942)
50. CAT BALLOU (1965)
51. THE SEVEN YEAR ITCH (1955)
52. NINOTCHKA (1939)
53. ARTHUR (1981)
54. THE MIRACLE OF MORGAN'S CREEK (1944)
55. THE LADY EVE (1941)
56. ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN (1948)
57. DINER (1982)
58. IT'S A GIFT (1934)
59. A DAY AT THE RACES (1937)
60. TOPPER (1937)
61. WHAT'S UP, DOC? (1972)
62. SHERLOCK, JR. (1924)
63. BEVERLY HILLS COP (1984)
64. BROADCAST NEWS (1987)
65. HORSE FEATHERS (1932)
66. TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN (1969)
67. MRS. DOUBTFIRE (1993)
68. THE AWFUL TRUTH (1937)
69. BANANAS (1971)
70. MR. DEEDS GOES TO TOWN (1936)
71. CADDYSHACK (1980)
72. MR. BLANDINGS BUILDS HIS DREAM HOUSE (1948)
73. MONKEY BUSINESS (1931)
74. 9 TO 5 (1980)
75. SHE DONE HIM WRONG (1933)
76. VICTOR/VICTORIA (1982)
77. THE PALM BEACH STORY (1942)
78. ROAD TO MOROCCO (1942)
79. THE FRESHMAN (1925)
80. SLEEPER (1973)
81. THE NAVIGATOR (1924)
82. PRIVATE BENJAMIN (1980)
83. FATHER OF THE BRIDE (1950)
84. LOST IN AMERICA (1985)
85. DINNER AT EIGHT (1933)
86. CITY SLICKERS (1991)
87. FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH (1982)
88. BEETLEJUICE (1988)
89. THE JERK (1979)
90. WOMAN OF THE YEAR (1942)
91. THE HEARTBREAK KID (1972)
92. BALL OF FIRE (1941)
93. FARGO (1996)
94. AUNTIE MAME (1958)
95. SILVER STREAK (1976)
96. SONS OF THE DESERT (1933)
97. BULL DURHAM (1988)
98. THE COURT JESTER (1956)
99. THE NUTTY PROFESSOR (1963)
100. GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM (1987)
Czervik:"No thanks, he's not my type."
Don't forget Groucho.
Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm gonna miss Ol' Rodney. He was classic.
My wife - she cut me down to once a month. I'm lucky - two other guys I know she cut off completely! I met one of 'em on the street the other day and I said "Hey buddy, who told you you could fool around with my wife?" And he said "everybody!" No respect at all.
I have frequently used LOL when I was actually smiling.
'Not the case in your Rodney Dangerfield list...
I was literally cracking up, laughing outloud!
I think I'm close on this one from Caddyshack when he said:
"Two biggest wastes of real estate - cemeteries and golf courses!"
I have frequently used LOL when I was actually smiling.
'Not the case in your Rodney Dangerfield list...
I was literally cracking up, laughing outloud!
I think I'm close on this one from Caddyshack when he said:
"Two biggest wastes of real estate - cemeteries and golf courses!"
One of his last jokes prior to the surgery was (paraphrased) "If everything goes well, I'll be out of the hospital in a few days, if things don't go well, I'll be out in about 15 minutes".
Did you see Saturday Night Live's tribute to him. It was great!
She' so ugly when she walks into a room the mice stand on chairs.
I called my wife today and said, "Honey, I wanna thank you for last night - it was the greatest night of sex in my life. She said, "Yeah? Who's calling, please?"
Once I was at a drive-in movie and someone threw a brick through the window and hit my girlfriend right in the chest. Broke three of my fingers.
It wasn't me, pal. It was the late, great Rodney Dangerfield. At least we had him around for 82 years....
Bill Murray, Caddyshack
"I want to go fetch things" - Probably his longest and funniest joke ever. I still laugh thinking about it.
"My wife's an earth sign, I'm a water sign... together we made mud."
BTTT.
Where the heck was Dr. Vinnie Boombotz ??????
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