Posted on 10/08/2004 2:30:16 PM PDT by livesbygrace
He may wear a pretty, skintight Body Glove, Gucci Turtleneck, listen to Barbara Streisand, and have an artificial bronze hue; but don't kid yourself, he don't swing that way. He's plenty tough enough!
By day he's the windsurfing, flip-flopping, French looking Liberal Senator from Massachusetts; but by night, John Kerry is... "Metro-Sexual Man."
With his trusty sidekick Silky Boy, it's off to the Femmobile to save America from his arch nemesis "W" and his partner in crime "The VP."
Financed by his Billionaire Sugar-Mamma "Teresa" (actually the inspiration for the Kinks 1970 hit Lola), Metro-Man and Silky Boy promise to better "W" and "The VP" in their ill-advised "War on Terror."
They have assured America that, just as soon as they are able to pass the requisite "Global Test," and have International Super-Heroes Jacque Chirac and Gerhard Schroeder onboard, they will fight the most terribly "sensitive"...frighteningly "multilateral"...completely "Law Enforcement" based War on Terror, in the history of the world.
Metro-Man, with his bold and robust Northeast Ivy-League accent, has promised to "hunt down" and "kill" the terrorists like they've never been hunted down and killed before. No doubt, having realized their doom is imminent; terrorists throughout the world are trembling in their sandals.
As helpless Americans, we can only hope and pray that Metro-Man and Silky Boy will implement their trademark "Limp-Wristed Bi*@! Slap" and violently hurl the terrorists to their virgin paradise.
So now it's up to you America. On November 2nd, let's not re-elect that simply spoken, cocky cowboy from Crawford who walks with a swagger and carries a big stick. Surely, that's just what the terrorists want us to do.
What the terrorists truly fear, is a President who has style and culture; a President who can recite, cold, highlighted portions of Hamlet; a President who actually has the superhuman ability to vote for something before he votes against it.
We can't afford a President who stubbornly stands on just one side of an issue. We need one who can do it all...who believes it all...who has stood for it all.
For the sake of America...for the Sake of Humanity, America must trust in... Metro-Sexual Man and Silky Boy.
J. Matt Barber is a non-practicing attorney, an undefeated heavyweight professional boxer (Matt "Bam Bam" Barber), and a professional jazz drummer in the Chicago Land (IL) area. In addition to his Law Degree, Barber holds a Master of Arts in Public Policy. Matt Works for Allstate Insurance Company as a Territorial Senior Manager in Allstate's Law and Regulation Corporate Security (Internal Fraud Investigations) Department.
Haw Haw!
This is GREAT! Only one slight problem: There are Democrats out there who actually BELIEVE this type of stuff!
For some reason, this conjures to mind images of the Ambiguously Gay Duo from Saturday Night Live...
It's pronounced "silky PONY."
That's funny, but take it easy on the mental imagery! *L*
That's really disgusting! Take the trash talk somewhere else!
I got a bumper sticker with that photo of George Bush on it, in the white cowboy hat, in the truck.... It reads "My heroes have always been cowboys" and it has Ronald Reagan on the other side, also in a cowboy hat! I LOVE IT!\
Is THIS true: "Teresa" (actually the inspiration for the Kinks 1970 hit Lola), ?????
CyberAnt is RIGHT!
Well, I was honestly trying not to be too rude with my post... but I will in the future refrain from posting the comments of my rough and rowdy brothers-in-arms and remember the tender senseabilities of the women and children present.
To the both of you, a sincere : Sorry, Ma'am.
"I was honestly trying not to be too rude with my post"
Hmmmm? And you lie too!
Having been around a lot of Marines and worked in a Sheriff's office, I don't think "tender senseabilities" has anything to do with it.
Your statements were and are disrespectful and border on ridicule. You can argue policies all day but to just make such idiot remarks makes other FReepers look bad. Since I represent a chapter, I don't appreciate being made to look like an idiot by someone else's irresponsible statements.
I don't care what you say off these threads. But when you're here, your conduct and your statements are being viewed by hundreds of thousands of people - most of whom are well educated and don't relate to your trash talk.
Did you see #13 - I let it fly!!
ping
there is a photoshop of that very thing,
of course kerry is the tall blonde ace and edwards is gary.
i could send it if you want it.
I am computer stupid, or i'd just post it.
it may show op here on this thread too.
I think I may have seen it on the debate live thread. Thanks for offering to send it to me though. The one I saw have two guys in the blue and yellow tights with Kerry and Edwards' faces Photoshopped onto their bodies. They were also wearing some really odd-looking painted yellow slippers.
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