Posted on 10/03/2004 6:42:45 AM PDT by ejdrapes
Split families ‘damage society’ The former punk rocker has emerged as an unlikely champion of the family, arguing that marriage should be taken more seriously and greater value should be attached to domestic life. Speaking in a television documentary, Geldof on Marriage, he says: “Marital breakdown costs the state about £15 billion a year and most of that is spent on single-parent benefits. “I know it’s uncool, and I truly have no desire to cause upset or offence by saying this, but the truth of every study is clear: dual-parent upbringing produces healthier, better educated children. That’s it.” The consequences of divorce, on the other hand, are dire, he says. “Children of divorced parents are much more likely to do worse at school, commit crimes, go to prison and more likely to commit suicide. Divorced men live shorter lives than married men and are more likely to get cancer.” He blames the “because I’m worth it” society for leading people to abandon marriages for what he regards as self- indulgent reasons. “We hop from product to product, channel to channel, station to station and, most damagingly, lover to lover, trading each one in for a new model as soon as passion fades,” he says. “Perhaps a lot of it is down to an overblown sense of self. We imagine ourselves to be free people, but we should not be free to destroy others, especially children. We have confused freedom with the idea of choice, we have become voracious consumers, not just of stuff, but of the soul.” Geldof, former lead singer with the Boomtown Rats who was acclaimed for his work on Live Aid, experienced the difficulties of single parenthood himself after his wife Paula Yates left him and later died. He believes that the government should act to protect the institution of marriage by making it more difficult to divorce. “This marriage stuff is a serious thing. It is not to be entered into and dissolved on a whim and to make light of it is a profound mistake. Yet that is precisely what the law allows us and encourages us to do. Geldof laments what he sees as the decline in the importance attached to family life. “Has the need to work hard, to produce, to earn, to spend, become more critical to the government — and perhaps our own emptier selves — than the truer world of the home?” he asks. “Have we so devalued domestic life and its culture of companionship and warmth and nurture and safety and calm to the point of being almost irrelevant? “We’re all encouraged to put work first and domestic matters such as our families and our relationships second — and those who don’t are regarded with suspicion . . . have we completely lost the idea of home being important? “You know when you come home . . . and she’s doing something nice, like making a meal or something, I don’t know if its just me, it’s so feminine, it’s so sexy.” Geldof on Marriage will be broadcast on Monday, October 11, on Channel 4 and a second programme, Geldof on Fathers, will go out the following day. He is already known as a campaigner for the rights of divorced fathers. Official figures released last month showed that the number of divorces reached than 150,000 in 2003 — an increase of 4% on the previous year and, at 14 for every 1,000 married people, the highest rate for seven years. Men in their early thirties and women in their late twenties are the most likely to face divorce. Among married men in the 30 to 34-year-old age group, 28 out of 1,000 get divorced. Among married women aged 25 to 29, the rate is 29 per 1,000. Geldof’s own family life descended into turmoil when Yates left him for Michael Hutchence, lead singer of the rock group INXS, in 1995. Geldof, 50 this week, eventually won custody of their three daughters after a bitter legal battle, and also became the guardian of Yates’s daughter by Hutchence. The INXS frontman was found hanged in his hotel room in Sydney, Australia, in 1997 and Yates died of a drug overdose in 2000. Geldof also argues that too much emphasis is placed on the ephemeral attractions of the wedding day, without thought for the real meaning of the marriage vow. He says pre-marital classes might go some way to making the scale of the commitment clear. “Why is it you cannot support the institution of marriage without sounding terrifically old-fashioned or right-wing? It’s wrong. “We’ve got to take back the right to speak about the most important institution that man has evolved over thousands of years.” Paula Hall, a spokeswoman for Relate, the relationship guidance group, said last week that divorce was not always wrong. “It allows people to leave bad marriages,” she said. “Because more people are divorcing, it doesn’t mean there are more unhappy marriages. I would suggest there are less unhappy marriages than there used to be because people get out whereas before they were stuck in them.”Geldof: two parents are best
BOB GELDOF, the pop star turned Third World campaigner, has made a passionate plea for children to be brought up by two parents, claiming the “because I’m worth it” society is creating a damaging number of single-parent families.
Ol' Bob is finally growing up, I see. Well, better late than never!
Interesting, no?
Geldof also argues that too much emphasis is placed on the ephemeral attractions of the wedding day, without thought for the real meaning of the marriage vow.
ping
Powerful stuff.
“Why is it you cannot support the institution of marriage without sounding terrifically old-fashioned or right-wing? It’s wrong.
Well, it's old-fashioned if you're talking about hetero marriage; it's cool if you're talking about homo marriage.
(steely)
The wife and I were married by the justice of the peace. The ceremony was performed at his house. Can't get much simpler than that. Going on 21+ years here.
Good for you Bob. Your heart was in the right place and your head followed.
" The former punk rocker "
The Boomtown Rat were never " punk " , though they rode in on the same bandwagon . More of a pop/new wave band .
Anyway , good on ya Bob !
The easy-out of no-fault divorce, or divorce on demand must be stopped! Not only is no-fault morally wrong, but it is UNCONSTITUTIONAL. Where else can the plaintiff win EVERY time whether or not they are in the wrong?
Take a look at what goes on in family courts. The person wanting to break the "contract" (marriage) is usually the one who files for divorce. They are usually committing adultery and it is known to the court. Yet, the court will grant the divorce every time based only upon the word of the party wanting to terminate the marriage. The divorce is a done deal the minute the papers are filed. What remains is to divide the assets and the children. 1st, 4th, 9th and 14th amendment rights of the respondent/defendant and the children are ignored. The adultery of the offending spouse is ignored.
Try to fight it and you will be punished by the court in terms of property, custody, support - in any way the black robed thug sitting on the bench decides. My husband stole our community property savings - more than $250,000 - and built a house for his whore. The two of them ran up more than $136,000 in credit card debt during the year we were fighting it out in court. He came to court claiming to be virtually penniless and broke because of family bills. Even though we had evidence that these were not family bills - most were for travel and things for their home - the judge ordered my home to be sold to settle their credit card debt. (This particular judge should have not been sitting on the bench as it was proven by a taped telephone conversation that she had direct conversations with a woman in another case.) She didn't order the sale of his home to settle his debts. I almost went to jail for contempt of the order to sell the home and had to file a writ of mandamus against the judge. If I had gone to jail, the state would have taken my children since their father didn't want them. I can tell you that finding out about his cheating and lies was bad, but what they did to us (me and the kids) in court was worse.
And, of course, that isn't even taking into account the rapidly rising numbers of cohabitating couples who never bother to marry at all, or single parents who produce multiple offspring with multiple partners without even a pretense of a relationship with the sperm/egg donor. It's not uncommon to run across women who have children and don't even know their fathers' names. That in no way excuses the fathers who go around making like Johnny Appleseed, planting their seed in any available receptacle.
I deal with the products of such irresponsibility every day, and it is tragic. We are trying to prop up this country on a crumbling foundation built upon the sand, where even the components are defective or decayed. It won't work.
Texgal, you nailed that one.
Huh! Makes you wonder just Who Bob is unknowingly walking towards! Prayers up!
It felt good; he did it; he paid the consequences. Nothing like doing a little reaping of what you have sown to modify your perspective.
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