Posted on 09/30/2004 1:46:15 PM PDT by NewMediaFan
There isn't a woman alive who won't sympathise with Democrat John Kerry for doing what he did this week.
Who among us has not done the same thing? That is, made a stupid, stupid decision regarding our appearance right before a Very Important Event.
Senator Kerry, who is trying to win the race for the White House, hit the bottle. The fake tan bottle. Or maybe the sun bed. No one is sure. But whatever, the day before this morning's all important first TV debate with President George Bush, Senator Kerry turned orange.
Not a little bit orange. His face is like a Halloween pumpkin. Or, as the New York Post put it, Senator Kerry, who is from icy Boston, has a tan "even George Hamilton would envy".
Talk-back callers had a good chuckle. America's top-rating comedian, Jay Leno, said Senator Kerry's face (like a city faced with terrorism) was on "orange alert". Matt Drudge, who runs the Drudge Report website, wondered whether he had been campaigning "in the rust belt".
The tan was so obvious that the Kerry camp, which really wants to get back to debating the big issues, such as war, was forced to explain it. They said Senator Kerry got the tan at a football match. The New York Post didn't buy it, nor did anybody else. Dr Ted Daly, of Garden City Dermatology, said: "Wow! That is a tan. From a tanning salon."
The New York Sun said Senator Kerry's "sudden, orangey-bronze glow" was highly unlikely to be the real deal. It quoted Cynthia House, of Enhance Me, who said: "It's an artificial tan. They went a little overboard."
(Excerpt) Read more at theage.com.au ...
Wow, he has the makeup CAKED on!
MM
Lurcha Loompa had been missing for a long time. Wonka will be happy for his return on Nov. 3rd
I'm laughing now because I just remembered an episode of Seinfeld where Kramer fell asleep inside a tanning tube - the
afternoon before he was supposed to meet his new girlfriend's parents for the first time. She was black. The father answered the door, took one look at Kramer, then another look and turned while saying "I thought you said he was a white boy".
Laura Ingraham thinks he got a skin peel followed by playing in the sun. Sounds logical.
When the package is empty, the wrapping has to sell it.
Was this supposed to be his October Surprise? If so, it's the only time he's been early.
I must admit, it does or did resemble old Earl's work.
You can have either the tan or the botox, you can't have both.
Which means once he gets to sweating, he'll have orange racing stripes. Cool.
It would have been refreshing and impressive if the Kerry Kamp had admitted that he wanted to look tan so had whatever it was done, but no, they had to lie and continue to lie that nothing was done.
The lies are worse than the self-obsessed and womanish upkeep Kerry indulges in and are just par for the course.
They are revolting just like his skin tone.
It was both. Time travel is like that. :)
Let's see. So far, he's changed his hair, had his teeth capped, taken Botox injections to erase the wrinkles, and now he's applied a phony tan. Is anything about this guy real?
His fondness for the ideas of Karl Marx and his treachery?
Back to the Future.
Maybe Kerry has been eating too many of Teresa's "Pumpkin Spice Cookies".
What do you get when you color your skin?
A face that looks like a Halloween Pump-and-a-kin.
Why did you get such a terrible tan?
What do you think will...come...of...that?
I don't like the look of it.
Oompa Loompa doompahdee dah
If you're not Orange you will go far
You will lose this election too
Like the Oompa Loompa doompadee do
DOOMPADEE DOO !
LOL, you couldn't make this stuff up. I thought Kerry was going to make for a boring candidate. I've changed my mind. He's given me a lot of laughs.
There's nothing healthy about a Hamilton type tan. It's nothing more than burnt skin. Blech! If he doesn't mind developing sarcoma or the wrinkles, more power to him I suppose.
There's nothing healthy ab out looking like you were dipped in white out. You get vitamin D from the sun. It's not burnt, that would be red, it's bronzed, like a breadcrust. Gonna get wrinkles eventually anyway, part of living long enough.
Which probably explains why Kerry wanted the temp below 70 so his coverup makeup wouldn't melt and run. Gag. Even his face is faky.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.