Orange Alert: Fake Tan on the Campaign Trail (Exotic Dancer Says Kerry May Suffer 'Tanorexia')

NY Sun ^ | 9/29/04 | Pia Catton

[gopwinsin04]

'If the tan is something you notice, you've gone too far.' You should never look at someone and say, 'Wow, that man is tan,' says Jessica 'Kayla' Conrad, a former stripper and author of the self help book- 'Dance Naked: The Guide to Unleashing Your Inner Hottie.'

And in Mr. Kerry's case, he's going for a specific look. 'It's all about the sex appeal,' she said. 'It lends him a Kennedy-esque, time spent boating quality.'

Indeed, with his suddenly tanned skin, Mr. Kerry appears to be trying to tap into the image making power of television-as John F. Kennedy did against Richard Nixon during the first televised 1960 Presidential Debates.

The pale unamed up Richard Nixon and his 5'o clock shadow came across poorly on television.

But has Senator Kerry gone too far? He could be well on his way to 'tanorexia' an overdosing condition which, according to Mrs. Conrad, occurs when you look in the mirror and think your never tan enough.'

[gopwinsin04]

The story of the Oompa Loompa Man goes into his second press cycle..

[mlbford2]

OOMPALOOMPAGATE

[gopwinsin04]

LMAO!

[TheBigB]

Jessica 'Kayla' Conrad, a former stripper and author of the self help book- 'Dance Naked: The Guide to Unleashing Your Inner Hottie.'

Okay, who has this book? Hands? ;-)

[connor_in]

wait...wait...wait!!!!

Lookee what newspaper this was in....the new york SUN!!!!!


bwahhhaaaahhhhaaahhhaaa

[Rutles4Ever]

We knew it would finally come: Kerry's Dukakis Moment™

[Fintan]

And in Mr. Kerry's case, he's going for a specific look. 'It's all about the sex appeal,' she said. 'It lends him a Kennedy-esque, time spent boating quality.'

 

 

[Sabatier]

While President Bush looks rugged, Kerry looks rouged.

[TheBattman]

Hehehe... he's used the tan-in-a-bottle to try to convince the hispanic vote that he is "one of them"....

[spokeshave]

Jessica 'Kayla' Conrad, a former stripper and author of the self help book- 'Dance Naked: The Guide to Unleashing Your Inner Hottie.'

Okay, who has this book? Hands? ;-)

Never mind the book....where's the pic.....you know the rules.............

[5by5]

Bush should comment during the debate that contrary to persistent rumors, Homeland Security is not using Kerry's face to notify the public about the alert levels.

When Kerry gets upset about the comments on his unusual coloration, Bush should reassure the viewers that we haven't gone to condition "red."

[capt. norm]

when you look in the mirror and think your never tan enough

The same thing happened to my sister when she wanted to get a head start on a tan. She was using Coppertone QT (quick tan) which has a protein compound which combines with some proteins in the skin to produce the "tan".

Since the process takes some time, the skin shows almost no change at first but it 'develops' over several hours. Like so many, my sister didn't realize it until too late and her color was more orange than tan. It looked so phony she stayed home and out of site for most of a week.

I definitely recognize that color on Kerry and I'm sure a lot of others do also.

[Fintan]

Okay, who has this book? Hands?

 

Hands????

[gopwinsin04]

[gopwinsin04]

How about a cover shot of the author?

[Always Right]

Don't give Kerry any good ideas, that may help Kerry win back the women's vote.

[Mike Bates]

It lends him a Kennedy-esque, time spent boating quality.'

Michael M. Bates: My Side of the Swamp

[Aquinasfan]

'It lends him a Kennedy-esque, time spent boating quality.'

There's a heartfelt love for tanned, preppie New Englanders with boarding school accents out there in middle America. What a cluedog.

[mountn man]

Never mind the book....where's the pic.....you know the rules.............

You beat me to it>

REPEAT. WHERE ARE THE PICS?????

[Aggie Mama]

You are sooooo bad. LOL!