Posted on 09/28/2004 11:04:57 AM PDT by FlyLow
From the September 27 Late Show with David Letterman, the "Top Ten George W. Bush Debate Strategies." Late Show home page: http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/
10. Ask the question, "We've never had a horse-faced President so why start now?"
9. Instead of witty retorts, have secret service wrestle Senator Kerry to the ground.
8. Use Kerry's long-winded answers to take much needed bathroom breaks.
7. Hope one of them hurricanes cancels the debate.
6. Instead of water, fill Kerry's mug with Red Bull and vodka.
5. Find time to work in joke prop -- giant waffle.
4. Moving his lips to pretend microphone isn't working.
3. Handle it same way he handled National Guard duty -- don't show up.
2. If Kerry makes a good point, distract him with some chaw spit in the eye.
1. Point out Senator Kerry's mispronunciation of the word "nucular."
I have no idea what you're talking about....
So, here's a Bunny with a Pancake on its head
Click the Pic
My fave, too.
:)
Me too. Boy, we had it good when the master was in charge of the laughs at night. I hope he's happy and relaxed with his life. He's earned it.
These are awful! Letterman needs new writers.
10. Start every answer with, "I know Senator Kerry isn't interested in facts, but..."
9. Mispronounce Senator Kerry's name. One suggestion is to pronounce it as "Senator Flipper."
8. Thank the Senator for taking time to show up for the debate. It shows he takes the job of running for President more seriously than the job of Senator.
7. Regularly munch on Wendy's fries while Kerry is talking.
6. Wear a "Beach Boys" wig.
5. Keep referring to "My first wife, Laura."
4. Mention all the world leaders who want you to stay President by name.
3. Keep searching behind Kerry's podium. When he finally asks what you are doing, tell him, "It seems like Jaques Chirac must be hiding there somewhere."
2. Ask him "What does 'f' stand for again?"
And the number one strategy for Bush in the debate (I wish I could claim this but another FReepre said it first).
1. Start every response to a Kerry statement with, "Final answer?"
Shalom.
Shalom.
ROFL!
ROFL!
Especially number 3 :)
Of course he does, he doesn't carry around extra baggage.
Even Laura has commented that if he commits one of his famous gaffes she kids him about it when he gets home. And she said that no one laughs harder at his grammatical miscues than he does.
Our President is human, and real America sees that in him. (as I know you do, Hi Heels).
Can you just imagine the tension in the air at Maison de Teresa if John Forged commits such an unforgivable atrocity as mispronouncing a word!
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