This one you will have to go to it, I don't want to offend anyone. The caption "Mine is bigger"
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v180/helograd/kerrydicup.jpg
Posted on 09/26/2004 5:54:15 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
John Kerry is an Alcoholic!
"Oh, Teraysah will pay for me!"
This one you will have to go to it, I don't want to offend anyone. The caption "Mine is bigger"
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v180/helograd/kerrydicup.jpg
Bartender?
My beer is kinda warm and smells like pee.
"Hey there big fella, what ya say about bringing your friend here and we'll spend the afernoon siping imported Wine and trying on spandex swimsuits?"
Unless..........he drinks very fast, and the bartender keeps refilling...maybe he is a lush...:)
John Kerry limps into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
So John, acting very agitated if not perturbed by the question, relents and says, "OK, I'll tell you."
I was with my communications director, Joe Lockhart, yesterday morning at the Boston airport -- waiting for the fog to lift so we could fly off to our first campaign stop this week.
Unfortunately, the fog never cleared so we spent most of the day drinking until the airport bar ran out of booze.
Disappointed and still thirsty, I turn to Joe and said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!"
Joe says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?"
So we go out to the hanger and proceed to pour ourselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed.
The next morning I wake up. I call Joe and I ask him, "How do you feel?"
He tells me, "I feel GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! We ought to do this more often. How about you? That was an outstanding idea of mine, wasn't it?"
I say to him, "I feel great, too, but there's just one thing: Have you farted yet?"
Joe tells me, "No," so I say to him, "Well, DON'T -- 'cause I'm in WISCONSIN, you jerk!!!"
A guy in a white T-shirt walks into a bar, sits down next to John Kerry, and orders a beer.
"Listen," he says to Kerry, "If I show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, is my beer on you?"
"We'll see," says Kerry.
So the guy pulls out a hamster and a tiny piano out of a bag, puts them on the bar, and the hamster begins to play.
"Impressive," says Kerry, "but I'll need to see more."
"Hold on," says the man. He then pulls out a bullfrog, and it sings "Old Man River."
Kerry jumps up and shouts "That's ABSOLUTELY incredible! I'll give you $100 right now for the frog."
"Sold," says the guy. Kerry takes the bullfrog and leaves.
"It's none of my business," says the bartender, "but you just gave away a fortune."
"Not really," says the guy, "The hamster is also a ventriloquist."
Has anyone already mentioned that every single picture of Kerry shows a FULL MUG. Did he really drink any?
John Kerry walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a handsome guy in a white T-shirt.
He gives him a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The guy notices and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
Iintrigued, the guy says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," Kerry explains.
"What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any shirt...."
The guy, who seemed to be affecting a strange accent, giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I AM wearing a shirt!"
John Kerry explains, "This damn thing must be fast. Anyway, I haven't won the election yet."
"We DemocRATs, while compaigning and otherwise, never pick up any tabs. He's buying. It should be considered an honor to have the husband thingy of a billionairess sit and chat with himabout absolutely NOTHING!"
An armless man, metphorically speaking, walked into a bar which is empty except for the bartender. He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms.
The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip the glass to his lips. The bartender did this until the man finished his drink. He then asked if the bartender would get a hanky from his pocket and wipe the foam from his lips. The bartender did it and commented it must be very difficult not to have arms and have to ask someone to do nearly everything for him.
The man said, "Yes, it is a bit embarrassing at times. By the way, where is your restroom?"
The bartender quickly replied, "The closest one is in the gas station three blocks down the street."
You'll notice, in this series of pictures, the glass of beer reamains at the same level. sKerry is used to drinking Dom!
Is that a BUSH beer?
LOL!
Oh my gosh, you're right. What's up with that two-fingered girlie-man grip? Why can't he even grasp a beer mug handle in his fist like a real man?
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