"I just know there's a Presidency somewhere up this river."
Posted on 09/25/2004 2:05:36 PM PDT by vanderleun
"I just know there's a Presidency somewhere up this river."
IT'S HARD-CHARGING LT. JOHN KERRY IN A ROLE THAT YOU'VE PREVIOUSLY HAD TO IMAGINE. But now it's a real as a video game. Yes, Kuma\War proves that there is no depth too low for some businessman to stoop to with its offering of Swift Boat PCF-94.
Billed as a *bonus* mission, the copy promises: John Kerry and the men of Swift Boat PCF-9
Silver Star Mekong Delta, Vietnam,1969
Signup today - Free Trial - to receive 20 Kuma\War missions including JOHN KERRY and the men of SWIFT BOAT PCF-94, an amazing re-creation of the actions in 1969 that earned Kerry the Navy's second highest honor. Re-create the events for yourself! Built using advanced game tools, this simulation puts you in Kerry's boots, in command of a Swift Boat on the Mekong Delta in 1969. Includes broadband video news show, real-world intel, satellite images and the background you need to understand a key issue in this year's presidential election.
Whether or not you get to go behind the hut and watch Kerry plug the wounded Viet-Cong in the back, it doesn't say.
We presume that if you unlock the secret level you get to go into Cambodia for Christmas. Winners probably get the hat as well.
Still, we shouldn't sneer too hard. This game could become just the thing to give to disgruntled Democrats this Christmas. Just because they, and the nation, have been forced to hear about this for two years doesn't mean they can't hear about it for the next four.
"Damn, Teresa, I've got over 275,000 points and have shot that Cong guy 127 times and I still can't unlock Pennsylvania Avenue. What should I do?"
"Shut up! Just shut up, you scumbag. Only an idiot could have thought you could be President!"
Do you get to shoot at civilians?
At the end of the game you write yourself up for a bogus Purple Heart and slander your Brother who is still playing.
Reminds me of the action figure toys that were used in the campaign of that professional wrestler Gov of Minn.
Burn villages too!
What about the medals? Can we toss them too? ooh ooh, can we talk to jane? oh what about the cookie factory? can we sell cookies at fanueil hall? this is soo exciting! Yak.
That's bogus... the PCFs were not white, and the "captains quarters" were inside... lol
What level will the rice-grenade shrapnel wound on the butt occur?
I hope it has a God-mode cheat for unlimited cigerette lighters to burn huts for extra bonus points, unlimited ammo to cut down fleeing vietnamese teenagers for extra silver stars, and extra grenades to blow up rice bins and grass. The goal is to accumulate as many points as possible before the game ends suddenly when you reach the maximum three purple heart limit (self-inflicted wounds count!).
Let me guess...this game is ONLY available as a pirated phony Chinese copy at your local traveling computer chow.
Let me guess...this game is ONLY available as a pirated phony Chinese copy at your local traveling computer chow.
show...lol
From the post: "businessman - "
I thought all business was controlled by the Republicans - big money - guess another myth is busted -
And didn't I read that G.I. - whatever - was made in China by child labor - ? Yet another myth busted -
Damn - I've got to have one! Got my Zippo fueled and ready. And my butt protector on - oooooooo - Xmas in "Bodia - ah my knees are trembling.
Suck rocks Kerry.
This thing could become a collectors item if they do it right.
Do they get to run around naked and drink lots of water?
Just skip all that and get to the Tereza inspired "Shove It" expansion pack.
Kewl!
Can I get 3 purple heart bandaids and a couple medals to throw at a make beleive white house?
I'll need some rice to make it as real as possible..
"see how far I can catapult the dog"
You are sick!
ROTFLOL
Actually if I could get my hands on a B-40 - Hmmmmmmmm
Now I'm sick!
No nudity allowed to maintain PG-13 rating, however you do get the option to hire your own video crew (if you accumulate enough bonus points) to record embellished re-enactments of combat. The total points you have at the end of the game influences how many hundreds of millions your future wives are worth.
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