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MAD ABOUT COWS (Kerry moisturizes with bovine Bag Balm)
NY POST ^
| September 24, 2004
| RICHARD JOHNSON PAGE SIX
Posted on 09/24/2004 2:08:28 AM PDT by Liz
AND now for something udder-ly different: John Kerry (above) likes to lubricate his chapped lips with Bag Balm, the Vermont ointment farmers have used on cows for more than 100 years to treat dry and cracked udders and teats.
During a recent campaign stop in Greensboro, N.C., Kerry's handlers realized they didn't have a makeup artist to prepare the presidential contender for a televised speech.
A Lancome counter girl at a local department store was called in to touch Kerry up.
We're told he asked if she had a tin of Bag Balm, but she urged him to pick from a basket of creams and lotions meant for human use.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
TOPICS: Extended News; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: moo
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To: LiberalBassTurds
Bu Xie [welcome]
Can you imagine that hag in the White House? She's almost abrasive enough to make Shrillery seem almost female by comparison.
I wonder what the gross ticket sales would be on a TUHREEEZUH/SHRILLERY mud wrestle?
Throw in Reno and watch the fur really fly.
We might even be able to retire the national debt!
Perhaps we'd get reallllly fortunate and they'd all Fosterize each other in the process . . . termination by unmitigated gaul and offensiveness.
61
posted on
09/24/2004 3:00:07 AM PDT
by
Quix
(CONTACT CHURCHES UR AREA 2 HAVE SOLID PLAN 4 BUSSES VANS 2 GET CONSRV VOTERS 2 POLLS ELECTION DAY!)
To: Liz
I use it for dogs when they get hot spots. It's works great.
62
posted on
09/24/2004 3:06:24 AM PDT
by
airedale
( XZ)
To: Quix
Teresa would make Hillary appear to be 'hands off' in the way the White House and presidency were run. Remember, she OWNS Kerry, and would therefore have a major input on how our nation was run.
Sleep well on that thought.
63
posted on
09/24/2004 3:09:18 AM PDT
by
datura
(Kerry is nothing more than solidified flatulence.)
To: Veto!
It really is good stuff. I use it on my feet whenever I have a crack on my heel.
64
posted on
09/24/2004 3:10:25 AM PDT
by
muggs
(Political Correctness and Pandering For Votes Is Going to Get Americans Killed!)
To: jimtorr
We were floored when our pediatrician suggested Bag Balm for a most severe diaper rash on our first son. We asked if we could get it at a pharmacy and he kinda looked at the floor and muttered..."No...try a feed store."
But it cleared up the rash in just a few days. Good stuff!
Gum
65
posted on
09/24/2004 3:10:26 AM PDT
by
ChewedGum
(aka King of Fools)
To: Liz
Former Senator Alan Simpson made the funniest political reference to Bag Balm just after he retired a few years ago. He said he kept a tin on his desk and used it as an illustration when special interest groups came knocking (in context, I believe he mentioned AARP in particular). The idea was we had too many piglets looking to feed at too few national teats, and the teats we had were all sore from the high demand.
66
posted on
09/24/2004 3:14:09 AM PDT
by
aardvark1
(Something was seared in my memory but I forgot what it was.)
To: Liz
Bag balm is not for horses. It's to moisturize the udders of cows and goats so they don't crack from the sanitizing agents used to sterilize the teats twice a day before milking.
I used to use it on my hands during the winter. Good stuff, but it's become too expensive since it's become popular. Comes in a cute little green tin.
I switched to using Dionne udder balm.
67
posted on
09/24/2004 3:15:11 AM PDT
by
snopercod
(In addition to medical, military and financial records Kerry won't even release his school records.)
To: Liz
I wonder what Terayza uses to moisturize? Horse lotion? Wonder no more: Neat's foot oil.
68
posted on
09/24/2004 3:18:55 AM PDT
by
Lonesome in Massachussets
("The Protocols of the Learned Elders of CBS", fake but accurate says the New York Times.)
To: datura
And the puppet masters own all of them, lock, stock and barrel arsed traitorousness.
69
posted on
09/24/2004 3:19:15 AM PDT
by
Quix
(CONTACT CHURCHES UR AREA 2 HAVE SOLID PLAN 4 BUSSES VANS 2 GET CONSRV VOTERS 2 POLLS ELECTION DAY!)
To: Liz
Juat for the record, I do not know nor have I had prior contact with "Spodefly"...:))
70
posted on
09/24/2004 3:23:24 AM PDT
by
Salamander
(Pirates of the Appalachians)
To: Quix
Haven't been able to smell for 20+ years.
When Granny wielded that stuff upon kith, kin and cattle, it was purely sulfurous.
[maybe they've 'improved' it since then]...;))
71
posted on
09/24/2004 3:26:11 AM PDT
by
Salamander
(Pirates of the Appalachians)
To: Mrs Zip
72
posted on
09/24/2004 3:27:16 AM PDT
by
zip
((Remember: DimocRat lies told often enough became truth to 42% of americans))
To: Liz
To: Liz
If he drank enough water, he wouldn't need Cowcrap. What a maroon!
74
posted on
09/24/2004 3:36:23 AM PDT
by
Maigrey
(Member of the semi-naked blogger Political Operative Brigade. To H#ll with pajamas!)
To: Liz
Bovine Bag Balm?....Jeeze Louise Kerry!..How about some "Hanna Hag Calm" for your wife?
To: All
Hmm. so John Kerry puts cow ointment on his lips does he?
That must account for all the bullsh*t
76
posted on
09/24/2004 4:04:17 AM PDT
by
BritishBulldog
(New Labour - Putting the "National" back into "Socialist")
To: Liz
I use Bag Balm. I love it, but it does reek. I wonder if he was trying to cover up the smell of something else?
77
posted on
09/24/2004 4:11:15 AM PDT
by
mewzilla
To: Liz; All
Liz, I wonder if it was to keep him from licking his lips?!
Have you seen this thread?
78
posted on
09/24/2004 4:14:06 AM PDT
by
mewzilla
To: Liz
This is the one thing I agree with. Bag Balm or Udder Balm is great stuff. If you work with your hands, especially outside it is great. Also if you burn your self on a stove or something it is a great salve.
Regards,
79
posted on
09/24/2004 4:14:13 AM PDT
by
Jimmy Valentine
(DemocRATS - when they speak, they lie; when they are silent, they are stealing the American Dream)
To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
80
posted on
09/24/2004 4:17:56 AM PDT
by
mewzilla
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