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MAD ABOUT COWS (Kerry moisturizes with bovine Bag Balm)
NY POST ^ | September 24, 2004 | RICHARD JOHNSON PAGE SIX

Posted on 09/24/2004 2:08:28 AM PDT by Liz

AND now for something udder-ly different: John Kerry (above) likes to lubricate his chapped lips with Bag Balm, the Vermont ointment farmers have used on cows for more than 100 years to treat dry and cracked udders and teats.

During a recent campaign stop in Greensboro, N.C., Kerry's handlers realized they didn't have a makeup artist to prepare the presidential contender for a televised speech.

A Lancome counter girl at a local department store was called in to touch Kerry up.

We're told he asked if she had a tin of Bag Balm, but she urged him to pick from a basket of creams and lotions meant for human use.

(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...


TOPICS: Extended News; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: moo
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I wonder what Terayza uses to moisturize? Horse lotion?
1 posted on 09/24/2004 2:08:28 AM PDT by Liz
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To: Liz
John Kerry (above) likes to lubricate his chapped lips with Bag Balm

"Bag Balm" -- hmmmm, he could use it on "the old bag" he has for a wife.

2 posted on 09/24/2004 2:11:36 AM PDT by beyond the sea (Free Martha Mitchell......... and Jail Teraaaaaayza - let them run around naked, at least the kids)
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To: Liz
Teresa uses custom made imported "Hag Balm."


3 posted on 09/24/2004 2:12:58 AM PDT by LiberalBassTurds ('Beheading' - Target marketing technique for sociopath recruitment.)
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To: Liz

Bag Balm is fine for your hands but it reeks of sulfur.
Why on earth would anyone want their breath to smell like rotten eggs?
I put it on my dogs when I don't want them chewing or licking at a cut or somesuch thing.


4 posted on 09/24/2004 2:13:25 AM PDT by Salamander (Pirates of the Appalachians)
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To: Liz
"I wonder what Terayza uses to moisturize? Horse lotion?"

Would that be one bag or two?

5 posted on 09/24/2004 2:13:44 AM PDT by Inge_CAV
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To: Liz
I think Hillary uses it on her chafed thighs.


6 posted on 09/24/2004 2:14:39 AM PDT by South40 (Amnesty for ILLEGALS is a slap in the face to the USBP!)
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To: Liz

No wonder he's so unctuous-- time to call in Naomi Wolf for an Alpha Makeover. "Bacon grease, John, its sooo masculine."


7 posted on 09/24/2004 2:15:14 AM PDT by fat city (Julius Rosenberg's soviet code name was "Liberal")
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To: LiberalBassTurds

8 posted on 09/24/2004 2:15:47 AM PDT by Liz
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To: Liz

And yet another endearing trait! He's so loveable!


9 posted on 09/24/2004 2:16:09 AM PDT by Lijahsbubbe ( MSM, We are watching you......)
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To: Liz

The former Senator from Wyoming, tall slim republican whose name escapes me, was a big advocate of this stuff. Maybe their attempt to appear "down home."


10 posted on 09/24/2004 2:16:11 AM PDT by TN4Liberty (John Kerry has more positions than the Kama Sutra.)
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To: Salamander
Why on earth would anyone want their breath to smell like rotten eggs?

To keep an ugly wife on her side of the mansion.

11 posted on 09/24/2004 2:16:42 AM PDT by Veto! (Kerry wears a tutu, TeRAYza wears the pants)
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To: Liz

12 posted on 09/24/2004 2:17:11 AM PDT by Salamander (Pirates of the Appalachians)
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To: fat city

Yeah, but then he's gotta cook all that bacon in hotel rooms.

Why doesn't he take along large can of Crisco (cackle).


13 posted on 09/24/2004 2:17:28 AM PDT by Liz
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To: TN4Liberty
Alan Simpson?


14 posted on 09/24/2004 2:17:50 AM PDT by LiberalBassTurds ('Beheading' - Target marketing technique for sociopath recruitment.)
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To: Salamander

I didn't know about the smell. Maybe that explains Terayzah's reaction whenever JFnK tried to kiss her (like her apparent revulsion needed an explanation).


15 posted on 09/24/2004 2:18:01 AM PDT by TN4Liberty (John Kerry has more positions than the Kama Sutra.)
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To: Veto!

That explains her clawing at his face every time he closes in for a smooch.


16 posted on 09/24/2004 2:18:26 AM PDT by Salamander (Pirates of the Appalachians)
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To: South40
I think Hillary uses it on her chafed thighs. ---

ROFL

17 posted on 09/24/2004 2:18:54 AM PDT by beyond the sea (Free Martha Mitchell......... and Jail Teraaaaaayza - let them run around naked, at least the kids)
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To: Salamander

LOL.....and Terayza buys it in the large economy size, I see.


18 posted on 09/24/2004 2:19:04 AM PDT by Liz
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To: Liz

Perhaps the Bag Balm people will hire little Johnny Edwards and sue for damage to their reputation.


19 posted on 09/24/2004 2:19:49 AM PDT by Fracas
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To: Veto!

Mama-T wears an asphidity bag.


20 posted on 09/24/2004 2:20:05 AM PDT by battlegearboat
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