THE KINKO'S CAPER (David Van Os Speaks)

TAS - Letters ^ | 9/20/04 | David Van Os

[xcullen]

This guy sounds like he is going to be a fountain of unintentional comedy throughout this thing.

[wideawake]

My real statement to the Times was that if hypothetically an individual in 2004 sat at a word processor and tried to create replicas of documents that they believed existed in 1972 or 1973, that could not change whatever the objective reality was of what George W. Bush was doing or not doing or where he was or wasn't at the times in question. My statement is such a plain truth that it hardly needed to be said.

This is the funniest thing I've read in days.

[liberlog]

This really is the funniest unintentionally funny, genuine statement I have read in years! Really.

[plangent]

So, if I sat at my "typewriter" and pounded out that
David Van Os was, in 1997, a lying piece of Communist
scum that whipped his employees and forced then to perform
unnatural acts, that doesn't change the objective reality
of the upstanding fellow David Van Os really is.

But if I get CBS to plaster that reputation-smashing
memo across the network, no big deal, huh...just because
you're such a work of ethical art?

[mewzilla]

You can tell a lot about a client from his lawyer.

[GaltMeister]

This is the funniest thing I've read in days.

No kidding.

"that could not change whatever the objective reality was of what George W. Bush was doing or not doing or where he was or wasn't at the times in question."

But they sure as hell forged some documents to attempt to 'prove'
"whatever the objective reality was of what George W. Bush was doing or not doing or where he was or wasn't at the times in question."

This whole thing is really starting to make me sick.

[Paleo Conservative]

Sincerely, -- David Van Os San Antonio, Texas

Translation:
Insincerely, -- David Van Os for Place #9 on the Texas Supreme Court.

[nightdriver]

"The taxpaying citizens have a right to get answers to the questions of what he was doing and why and where he was and why during the times that Ms. Knox refers to, times when he was previously serving as an employee of the citizens and taxpayers of America."

I'm sure that Mr. Van Os is equally insistent on Kerry signing that "180" form so the taxpaying citizens can also see what Kerry really did in the military.

NOT!!!

[Taliesan]

It is absurd to expect anyone to believe that an individual intelligent enough to be President of the United States cannot remember any details about significant events in his life.

This is my favorite sentence from this Kerry supporter. Others will have their own favorites. But this one I just feel drawn to linger over.

[Travis McGee]

Based upon my personal knowledge of Bill Burkett's character from knowing him and knowing of his reputation among his peers, I will state unequivocally that Bill Burkett did not falsify or create the "CBS documents." I do not assume that anyone falsified or created those documents until more is known, but if anyone did, it was not Bill Burkett. I will stake my reputation and good name on this certainty.

Then....who did create the forgeries, Sherlock? The plot thickens!

[justshutupandtakeit]

Couldn't try and create funnier stuff than that. Keep it up boys.

[pointsal]

ping David Van Os....

[justshutupandtakeit]

I think they just appeared out of the blue. Obviously divine creations. (I know I have felt heavenly after they appeared.)

[Chode]

yeah... and he used a FORGED signature because???

[maica]

Wow! He wants to be a Supreme Court Judge! He sees nothing wrong with a national TV news anchor/managing editor of NEWS attending a partisan political function!

[BlessedByLiberty]

"...objective reality..."

The objective reality for us, Mr. Os is that your client now states he did accept forged documents from a source he is protecting. Is your client in the news media and accorded First Amendment protections the media always cites?

[wideawake]

I will stake my reputation and good name on this certainty.

Oh yeah, David? Well, I'll see your good name and reputation and I'll raise you eight cents, Canadian.

[ValerieUSA]

Did an 86 year old secretary type this crap?

[ValerieUSA]

I will state unequivocally that Bill Burkett did not falsify or create the "CBS documents." I do not assume that anyone falsified or created those documents until more is known, but if anyone did, it was not Bill Burkett. I will stake my reputation and good name on this certainty.

Okay Van Os, tell us who DID create the phony documents. You must know.