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Bolshevik Preamble, Communists for Kerry (Tally no longer Comerades, our glorious future awaits!)
www.communistsforkerry.com ^ | 20 September 2004 | Karl Marx

Posted on 09/20/2004 7:51:42 AM PDT by watsonfellow

WE CURE WEAK LIBERALISM WITH STRONG COMMUNISM!

Communists For Kerry is an activist cell of young communists dedicated to ridding the United Socialist States of America of all things bourgeois and non-progressive: Free Market, Free Press, Free Thought, etc. The situation is critical in the extreme. The bourgeoisie aided by propagandist chain-dogs like Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity are on the verge of domination in this country and they must be stopped. In fact it is now absolutely clear that to delay the Revolution would be fatal. Through our website, as well as public demonstrations, group hugs and protesting we intend to mobilize the starving and lead them to the final fight against the evil Republican despots and towards the bright communist future, hand in hand with the peace-loving Democrats represented by Comrade Senator John Kerry.

After we re-educate our members to develop correct convictions, guiding them through the Revolution will be a cakewalk! We will teach the working class party through the studies of Marxism, Ramsey Clarkism, Kerryism, Clintonism and Mooreism.

We will promote the party’s understanding that the only way for all people to be equal is to destroy all capitalistic ventures, as we know them. The rich must suffer as we have throughout history. The government must be held responsible for taking care of our every need.

We will instruct the party that working is for the weak minded. Through higher taxes and wealth re-distribution plans we will all have more time to spend on social and environmental equality. As Comrade Hillary said recently to a group of capitalist scum, “We MUST take things away from you on behalf of the common good”.

We will teach our fellow Communist For Kerry members that we must suffer together to stop the war on the working class from the rich. We will meet regularly to sing and do art projects together to help sooth our suffering.

Communists For Kerry strive for world peace. The only way that this can be accomplished is if we relinquish our foreign policy struggle to the hands of the wise men of the United Nations. We must re-establish relationships with the great minds of France, Germany, China, Cuba and Mother Russia.

We will do our part to make sure Comrade Mikhail Mooresevic is put in charge of state run media to win the propaganda war that plagues this great nation. Mikhail already has the support of Hezbollah, Al Queada, The Taliban, France and many more great regimes throughout the world.

The two Americas must come to an end to form one homogenous socialist state. Only then shall we rest. Only then shall there be peace between us and other great Socialist nations. We shall overcome!


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: communistsforkerry; parody; satire

1 posted on 09/20/2004 7:51:43 AM PDT by watsonfellow
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To: watsonfellow

Is this a parody piece, or did these people REALLY write like that?

Either way, I'm not giving them the Web hit to find out.


2 posted on 09/20/2004 7:54:11 AM PDT by Old Sarge (ZOT 'em all, let MOD sort 'em out!)
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To: Old Sarge

Give 'em the hit. You'll enjoy...


3 posted on 09/20/2004 7:59:16 AM PDT by telebob
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To: Old Sarge

If you haven't heard of them, they are a spoof organization affiliated with the Protest Warriors.


4 posted on 09/20/2004 8:00:40 AM PDT by Pyro7480 (Sub tuum praesidium confugimus, sancta Dei Genitrix.... sed a periculis cunctis libera nos semper...)
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To: Pyro7480

Gotta love them commies for kerry....as Tony used to say:

they're grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!

Protest Warriors Rock!


5 posted on 09/20/2004 8:03:22 AM PDT by fizziwig
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To: watsonfellow

For being a parody, It's very realistic, Given how teenagers and college kids think.


6 posted on 09/20/2004 8:06:10 AM PDT by desherwood7
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To: desherwood7
Comrades, Your talk of "parody" and "humour" will earn you a one way ticket to re-education and labour camps.

Regards.

7 posted on 09/20/2004 8:11:44 AM PDT by watsonfellow
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To: watsonfellow

I would like to see them try it. Last time I knew, I live in America, Not China.


8 posted on 09/21/2004 7:57:58 AM PDT by desherwood7
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