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THE BALLOONIST

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,

"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man in the boat consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican.."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct ... I have no idea what to make of your information . . . and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air... You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep . . . and you expect me to solve your problem.. . . You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met. . . but somehow, now it's my fault."

There's another story quite similar. The participants are the same, but they're both in the same balloon. While they argue, the balloon begins to fall at a very rapid rate. They're late to where they want to go, they're falling, and they're arguing about how to solve the problem. They'll both end up dying if they don't start cooperating. One individual in the balloon has good ideas. The other one continues to ignore him and shout frantically.

The Republican wants to turn up the heat to increase the buoyancy of the balloon, but the Democrat says they won't make it to their destination if they do that. The Republican says, "Never mind the destination, let's try to keep from getting killed." The Democrat won't let go of the controls, and the Republican hasn't found an argument persuasive enough.

Meanwhile, they both rush toward the ground at an ever-accellerating pace.